'Relive'

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Cher and Sawyer were completely passed on the sofa, snoring. Nathan and I, might have drawn something on their faces, maybe. You should see them. One word, ALCOHOLICS. Nathan and I started a game of Truth Shooter. I have no idea which number we’re on. And everything is a blur. ‘’Truth one….four…..two?’’ I blurted out while taking a shot. ‘’I like you’’ I stated the truth which was supposed to be kept to myself!

Nathan took a shot, ‘’Hahahaa’’, he laughed.

‘’It’s true!’’ I burped, so lady like of me, ‘’well at first I hated you! All I wanted is to slap that beautiful face of yours. But then,’’ another burp. I’ve  never burped in front of people, I usually get sick when people vomit, ‘’then, you smiled at me and those perfectly sculptured dimples of yours trigger something.’’ I should stop talking, it’s the tequila talking not me. Have I mentioned his perfectly shaped edged lips? Like seriously! What is that under his lip? Awh, a cute little freckle. ‘’Sshh! It’s a secret! Between me and you’’ I smiled.

‘’Between me and you’’ he agreed. ‘’Do you want to know a secret?’’

‘’Tell me.’’ At about this time, with the amount of shots circling our system is uncountable and if we take another, we would be at a potential risk of dying, no joke.

‘’Closer,’’ he gestured me to come closer to him, ‘’I want,’’ he whispered in my ear and paused, ‘’to..’’ he paused again making me ache to know. By now, we were millimetres from our cold lips to touch and collide in beautiful harmony. I inhaled his breathe and he mine. I wanted to taste him, his lips. I could hear his heartbeat, in the loud silence of the dark, beating a fraction of a second after mine. Dubdub. Dubdub.  His eyes deeply locked into mine, making me uncomfortable but at the same time at ease. He took a breathe and lightly touched my lip with his, ‘’kiss you’’, sending  shivers down my spine, freeing butterflies in my stomach, giving life to my dead lips.

‘’Nathan,’’ I said as I pulled back. All of a sudden, my brain could function properly again. I wanted so badly to respond to his gesture, but I was afraid of getting hurt again. I was afraid of being used again for once pleasure and be left there to hang just like a doll and refer to it when the new and beautiful doll is gone. I didn’t want to feel the betrayal again, it was too painful to go through it again. Nathan might be the opposite of it all, he might be caring and loveable, but I wasn’t to take that chance, at least not for now. It was one of the reasons I decided to move here, to get away from the past. ‘’I can’t’’ I stood up and walked behind  the dining table.

Nathan stood up, ‘’But I thought you said you like me?’’ he said and he scratched the back of his head in confusion. He’s right,  I did say that.

‘’I now, but that’s all it is, I like you,’’ I feel like shit, ‘’I’m sorry. I just can’t let myself go through that again’’ I really want to let him in, I really want myself to care again but I can’t. I will not let myself get shatter again. I will not let myself cry over someone again.

He walked towards me, ‘’Go through what?’’ he asked. He rested his hands on my shoulders and as he saw me to tear up he pulled me close to him, wrapped his strong arms around me and tightly hugged me. So tight that he was afraid I’d fall. ‘’Tell me, it’s ok.’’

I hate myself for letting myself remember again, ‘’I let myself care someone who only saw me as his prize.’’ I sobbed as I held to his shirt as if I was afraid of falling, ‘’I let myself love someone who never loved me back. I’m sorry but I’m not ready to..’’

‘’It’s ok’’ he released me from his comfortable hug and smiled. His smiled comforted me, ‘’it’s ok Lena! First of all, this guy is a jerk passing out an opportunity like you. He has no idea what he has lost!’’ he paused and smiled again as if like I didn’t just reject him, ‘’Secondly you need to tell me who this jerk is so that that I can go and give him a piece of my mind!’’ he was serious. His vein in his forehead was showing, it does that when he’s either angry or mad or when he’s being serious about something.