'Relive'

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

                ‘’Lena,’’ Jonah said as he stayed there in front of me, in the middle of the night, soaking wet, crying. Crying? I didn’t know he knew what tears were. What pain was. I didn’t know he could care so much about something that he’d cry. He never cared about me, about us.

                ‘’Jonah? Are you ok?’’ I said to him. I know I should hate me, but I couldn’t. I never could hate him. But I should. He really got me to worry. Something was really wrong. ‘’What’s wrong?’’ he didn’t speak. He just stood there, in the door way, in the pouring rain, crying his pain away, ‘’Jonah, you’re worrying me! Please tell me what wrong! Maybe I could help’’ I told him as I tried to get him to talk.

                ‘’No! No one could help him!’’ he finally spoke with what he could gather of his voice. He was broken, devastated. I never seen him like this. It was like someone had taken his heart out, ripped it out of his chest with their cold bare hands, and left it there, alone.  I couldn’t stand there in front of him. I couldn’t stay there and see him cry.

                I rushed to him, and hugged him as tight as I could, ‘’It’s ok, I’ll hold you.’’, feelings, feelings of past rushed back to my heart light lightening. Feelings. ‘’I won’t let go, I’ll hold you’’. We stayed there, in the door way, in the rain, enclosed in each other. Our hearts beating together.  Dubdub. Dubdub. And with every beat, I remembered everything. The way he used to hold me. The way he used to smile even though I was annoying him. The way he used to sleep next to me. The touch of his cold skin against mine, but still felt warmth love. The way he used to look at me. The way I used to love him with every breath I take. We stood there. Strangers that used to know each other. It was comforting. It was nice. Feelings. Feelings.

                He took a deep breathe, sign of courage in him, ‘’I can’t help him! I can’t! I can’t fix him!’’ he said. He stopped crying and took another deep breathe and wiped his tears. ‘’Doctors say there’s not much they can do’’, he said as he let go of the hug and wiped away his tears again.

                ‘’Doctors?’’ now this is really worrying me, ‘’Come inside.’’ He walked inside still scared of what was going on. I closed the door and walked upstairs to my room with him following me. We walked into my room and he was still shaking. Maybe of the cold or the dreading fear he has circling around his body. ‘’Here’’ I said to him and gave him the blanket on my bed to keep himself warm. He sat on the edge of the bed. I sat behind him and tried to comfort him. I hugged him. I wanted to make sure that he know I’m not going to let go. I rested my head on his back while he buried his face in his palms.

                He cleared his throat and sighed, ‘’For the past three months, Dave, my brother, has been having these weird episodes. Like last week I was messing around with him, and I only touch him, barely, he started to bruise. He’s been having trouble breathing, vomiting in the middle of the night.’’ He stopped for a minute and began to tear up again. I hugged him even tighter and closer to me. ‘’So today I decided to take him to see a doctor, with mum working on double shifts and dad always passed out in the middle of the day, I thought I should do this. Be the responsible big brother. Doctors coming in and out, nurses taking my brother’s blood, all speaking German to me. I couldn’t understand a word they were saying. Until this nurse comes up to with a worried face. She said,’’ he turned around to face me, ‘’your brother has Acute Lymphoblastic Leukaemia.’’ He got up and ran his hands through his hair. He was torn apart. I knew how much he loved his brother. He was everything to him.

                ‘’Jonah,’’ I didn’t know what I was supposed to say. Should I say it’s going to be ok? Or that he’ll fight it? I don’t know, ‘’it’s ok. Dave is a strong kid, he’ll fight it! I promise.’’ I said as I rush to him and hugged him tightly, again. He began to cry again, silently. I pulled away from the warm hug and we both walked to the bed and laid there. We didn’t speak, we just laid there, breathing, inhaling and exhaling, hearing our hearts beat together, enclosed in each other. It was comforting. I just wanted to sleep in his hands and wake up just like this.