'Relive'

Chapter 7 - Part 1

 

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Chapter 7 - Part 1

I had this amazing dream where Jonah and I were on the same bed, sleeping next to each other. I was tightly secured in him arms, happy. I started to awake  slowly, with every deep breathe I gain more conscious. I felt someone’s arm trailing down, from my right shoulder down to my hand and locked it to mine. It fit perfectly, like a key fits to it’s lock. I looked over my shoulder, only to see him, Jonah. I guess my dreams are becoming real now, ‘’Hey’’ I said to him as I blinked twice to wake myself up.

                ‘’Good morning peachy,’’ he remembered what he used to call me. I got that nickname because the first time we talked to each other was when I dropped a peach I was eating from two stories high and it landed exactly on his head. Like it was all timed and planned. Looking at it now, it was kind of funny. The peach literally like bounced twice on his head and slid down like a snail. ‘’how’d you sleep?’’ he asked with his sexy morning voice.

                I smiled and turned to face him. I closed my eyes for a second and sighed happily, ‘’Good,’’ I replied, ‘’really good’’. I forgot how it used to feel, waking up next to him. Hearing his morning voice, his tough, deep voice whispering in my ear, our bodies brushing with each other’s, his arms around my waist. And we would just lay there for an hour until we head down for breakfast. ‘’You didn’t answer my question last night’’ I said to him as I placed my head rightly on his chest.

                He cleared his throat, ‘’Um..I don’t know,’’ he paused. He was hesitating, ‘’I think with what happened and all, I think it’s best if we…’’

                I knew where he was going, ‘’friends?’’ I said. I knew that this is what he was thinking.

                He looked at me, ‘’Yes, I think it’s best’’ he said. I felt my heart stop. I wanted him to raise his voice at me and say no. Say that he wanted to be with me and that he loves me. I was waiting for this huge dramatic protest about him wanting to get back together. I felt, nothing. ‘’Listen peachy, I have to go meet up with someone,’’ he said as he kissed my forehead, ‘’I’ll text you tonight’’ he said as he got up from bed,  got dressed and went downstairs and out.

                I stayed in bed, trying to make sense of what happened and tried to answer my own question. Last night he came crying at my doorstep, wanting me to hold him. He told me about his brother as he cried his heart out in my arms. He found out that he lost his baby, his daughter. He knew how torn I was, how in pain I was and the guilt I felt. The nights I cried alone. He told me that he loved me, and that he will always love me. And now he just wants to be friends? I was so happy to have him next me, in his arms. Why do things always have to go against my will? Why? I promised myself to not let anyone break my heart again, and I let myself down, again. I let myself care for one night, and here I am, let down again. Last night, I thought everything was back the way it used to be. Me and him. Jonah and I. Today, he made it clear that he only wants to be friends.

                I got up and got ready for work while my mind played all that happened last night, all the conversation. ‘’Hey, did I just see Jonah leave?’’ Cher said as she walked into my room angry at me, ‘’Lena! He’s an asshole, you don’t need him. Don’t forget what he made you go through’’ she said with a demanding tone.