Your Love's a Fucking Drag|| Ryden

3

I left after that. Ryan screamed and yelled at me to get out of the house. The whole time he was sobbing. The kids were sent to their room before anything went to far.
I remember what he told me as left. He screamed it out as he sat on the floor.

"I SHOULD HAVE NEVER FUCKING MARRIED YOU"

That one hurt. It hurt so much, I cried silently all the way home. Nothing could stop the waterworks.
I love Ryan, but every move I make ruins everything. I do nothing right when it comes to the relationship. Ive fucked up more times then anyone could.

I was sure Ryan still loved me in a way. He could be seen with his wedding band on his ring finger and he would deny anyone's affection. I just hurt him by kissing him. By saying sorry to late. By doing all of this in the first place.

By the time I made it home it was late noon. I tried my hardest to stop crying before I came home, so I ended up just driving around while bawling my eyes out. I was so angry at myself I prayed to who knows what to just let me crash but no. I came home perfectly fine, but not really. You know what I mean.

When I got into the house I just slipped my shoes off and walked to the bedroom. I flopped onto the bed and just cried myself to sleep.

----

I was quickly taken out of my sleep in seconds. I looked up startled by the sudden shaking. It wasnt hard but it felt like an earth quake.
It was just dallon and with that my spooked expression dulled down. I just laid on my back and looked up.

"Brendon?" Dallon asked kindly. "Are you okay?" I groaned a yes in response, stretching for comfort.

"Dallon sweetie." I called out calmly, with a tired voice. I felt the bed move a little and dallon laid down next to me.
I smiled at this nice gesture.

"Yes bren?" He answered softly.
"Am I a bad person?" My voice was a little shakiy but I tried to keep it sounding normal.

"Noo, you're not a bad person. Youre probably the best person I'll ever meet!" He scooted closer to me, hugging me. Dallon was a huge sucker for hugs.
"Thank you." I mummbled into his shoulder.
I wanted to cry again, cry like I used to in junior high. I was a crybaby back then. I had a cry trigger that was just as bad as a female. I sniffled a little and I began to cry into dallon's shoulder. He was worried about me and that broke me even more. I began to sob. Oh, how ugly I was when I cried.
Dallon hugged me tighter, trying to calm me.

"Brendon, tell me what happened" he whispered in my ear.
"N-nothing" I answered back with a slight stutter. My voice cracking in the middle, continuing on with my terrible sobbing.

"Brendon, come on. If it was nothing than you wouldnt be crying right now" he explained calmly as I just shook in his arms.

"It dosent matter"

"Hey, maybe you should see a therapist if you don't wanna talk to me" he said that so calmly but that sentence made me hurt. I remember therapy as a terrible thing. They tried to 'fix me'.

"No n-no please no" I cried out.
"Why not?" He asked worried.
"Its fine to see one youre not gonna die" my breathing hitched.
I began getting terrible imagery of what happened. Trying to beat the gay out of someone doesnt work to well and thats all my mind was going to.

"Hey, hey, just calm down" he whispered, rubbing his hand over my back. Back and forth.
After a while my breathing slowed and my tears began to stop and I found myself falling alseep again. I dont wanna think about it anymore.
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I woke up in the morning around 3 am. I looked away from my clock and back to dallon who still hadnt let go of me. I kissed his forehead and wiggled myself out of his arms. I walked to the bathroom and took a piss. Normal human things.

When I finished I grabbed my phone and went into the livingroom. I sat down on the couch and just scrolled through my phone. I opened my messages and went straight to Ryan's contact.

You: ryan.

You: will you please forgive me.
Please stop being mad. It was my mistake.

You: I was dumb I know. Im so sorry.
Read; 3:57 am

A/N shorter chapter sorry but I'm building up tensions.