Your Love's a Fucking Drag|| Ryden

8

I spent rest of my day with my mom. I finally decided to head home after I missed 10 calls from Dallon.
I get it, it was rude to walk out on him like that.

On the drive back I couldn't help but think about Ryan and his out burst. Does he still like me? Or maybe even love me still. I guess by now anything is possible and maybe I had a small chance. First I have to get out of this engagement.
It hurts to know I'm secretly planning against Dallon. He never did anything bad to me, he just loved me, that's all.

Sadly I can't go through this just for Dallon's sake. I have two kids and an ex husband and surprisingly by now Dallon probably wouldn't even care if I told him. He seems to love me that much. It just reminds me of Ryan and I back in highschool.

Yeah, but no, I'm not going to tell Dallon anytime soon. It's hard to think of new love. Foreign maybe? But not what I'm looking for. What if I find something Dallon has done wrong and just use that as an excuse? But the thing is what could he have done?
He has always been sheltered. He has also told me about everyone he's dated so it wouldn't start drama.

What if I cheat, It would be like a fucked up love triangle of hate but with four people. I love Ryan and I think he hates Dallon. Dallon loves me but he knows nothing. What if someone else falls for me? What if I make it extremely noticeable?
Would he hate me or let it slide and just ask me to not cheat again.

Half my brain fought me on this and the other half cheered me on. What if I fall for the other guy and stop loving both Dallon and Ryan.
At least in the end of all these I still find love, with a slight chance each of them end up hating me.

When I finally make it home I let myself let out a loud sigh. As I walked into the door I could see Dallon stand up from where he was sat. A bright smile on his face with a hint of worry. 
"Bren, where have you been? I planned a whole day with you and you weren't even here." He questioned me quietly.
"I was out" I reply, "Do we have any like vodka or like I don't know um something good?"

"Um, no. I thought you weren't a drinker." Dallon spoke up a little louder.
"I'm not, I'm just tired. Uh could you go out and get us something to drink. I honestly don't care what just uh, use the money in my wallet." I say, rubbing at my temple, I reach for my wallet and toss it his way. Surprisingly catching it, Dallon just gave me a look before getting up and leaving the room.

I'm sure I was being a dick but honestly I wouldn't mind having a drink with Dallon right now. I took a seat on the couch getting comfortable
It took longer than I expected for Dallon to come home, making me bored and tired.

It took a good hour and a half before Dallon came home. I even found myself falling asleep.
"I got you food." I hear him say before setting the a bag on the table.
I was surprised by this.

"I'm sure you're hungry" he said once again. "Did you get drinks?" I question.
"No Brendon, I didn't. You don't need alcohol you need sleep and food." He starts, "I worry about you some times. I don't want you to become an alcoholic. I know you drank all our wine."

"What's so wrong with that! Am I not allowed to binge sometimes" I snap. "No Brendon, I'm a doctor I see what drinking does to people! It goes from drinking to drugs and I'm not losing the one person I love!" Dallon snaps back before throwing me my wallet, walking away. I sigh loudly and pick up the bag of food taking it to the kitchen, putting it in the fridge.

The only person Dallon loves, huh. I guess I'm doing more damage than I thought. Sadly the first thing that comes to mind is just to push further into the cracks and break this off before it gets worse.
So I head after dal, plans in mind.

I'm going to marry him. Not because I love him in that way but because I want to drag this as long as I can.
So I walk to our room to him lying on the bed.

"Dal," I purr, walking towards the bed.
"What do you want" his voice is muffled and quiet. I sit on the edge of the bed and run my hand over his shoulder.
"Dal, I'm sorry." I start, " I've just been a little off lately" I move down a little letting my lips touch his neck. His breath hitches slightly, letting me know I was doing something right.
He turned a little so he would be facing me. I could tell he was holding back a smile.
" Brendon, it's fine I just worry about yo-" I cut him off with a kiss. He looked confused but started kissing back. I move myself on top of him, letting myself get deeper in the kiss.

Dallon wasn't use to so much affection from me. I'm sure it flustered him up. I could tell his face was all red and I finally pulled back from the kiss, taking a deep breath. Both of us were gasping.
"What was that?" Dallon questioned me slightly, his breathing slowing by the second.
I just let myself place kisses on Dallon's jaw.

"I wanna fuck you" I say in a deep lustful voice.
I don't mind this, in all honesty I was going to have to give into my sexual frustration anyways.