Your Love's a Fucking Drag|| Ryden

7

When I finally got home after visiting my kids, I felt beat, emotionally of course.
How did I get myself into so many lies?
I love Dallon but I also love Ryan.
I don't even know if it's love anymore between Dallon and I but I feel like I just like him now. Like a school crush but not like I want to be in love.

It took a few hours of pacing before Dallon finally came home. He walked in and caught me stressed. Another thing I didn't want to happen.
"What's wrong?" Dallon asked.

"Nothing I'm just tired." I tried hard to play this off like nothing but it was started to damage me.
Dallon just came up to me and hugged me tightly.
" I love you "

Oh God shot me now if needed!
"I love you, too.." I muttered back.
He let me go and went straight for a shower. He was off tomorrow so that ment I didn't have any free time to do anything because he will probably wanna go out, or something.

If I could kill myself to get out of this honestly I would.
We'll get married and I'll become an alcoholic or something. I don't know, I feel like he would support me and try to help me stop drinking or something.
Oh God yes! Drinking sounds amazing!

I quickly went into the kitchen and grabbed the only thing we had, wine.
I immediately poured myself a full glass and I just downed it. Why can't we have the hard shit?

I set the glass in the sink and just grabbed the bottle, sitting on the couch.

I woke up around 11 at night, still on the couch with an empty bottle of wine next to me. That's fucking gay.

I sat up and rubbed at my eyes. When I finally could see properly I looked at the coffee table seeing a note and a tiny ring box.
Dallon did it, he bought us fucking rings, great.

I grabbed the note and read that first.

I got you this ring to show my love.

I sighed and opened the small box. It was pretty engagement ring. I smiled and put it on. It felt like blasphemy to wear it but I needed to show my "love" some how.

Ryan had taken my ring back after the divorce saying it was rightfully his because he had bought it. You know, stuff like that. It felt weird to have a ring again but it made me miss my old ring. I still see Ryan wearing his all the time. I personally think he still wears it because he got so use to it but I don't know. Deep down I hope and pray that isn't the only reason but that's a small possibility. Also he just seems tired of seeing me around so much.

With that I stood up and walked to the room, finding Dallon fast asleep.
I crawled into the bed, the blanket was already warm from his body heat. Making it not so hard to fall asleep.

---
I woke up in a cold sweat, realising everything from last night. I tried my best to calm myself so I didn't wake Dallon up, so I stood and walked out the room.

I grabbed my phone immediately before dialing my mom's number.
The phone rang for awhile before I heard a voice on the other side.

"Hello?" I heard a small kids voice on the othe line.
"Hello?" I questioned back, knowing that it was just Jaydon.
"Hi dad"
"Hi sweety, can you put grandma on the phone" I replied back quickly, trying to be as quiet as possible.

"Ugh fine I'll go get her" he complained, after a few seconds of just listening to muffled conversation on the other line I heard my mother's voice.
"Brendon what's wrong?" She questioned.

"Nothing I'm just going to stop by and maybe stay for awhile is that okay"
I asked kindly.
"Yeah that's okay just bring your key."
The conversation ended quickly before I quietly went back to the room to get dressed.

Just a perfect timing right when I was done getting ready and I was walking out the bedroom door, Dallon just had to wake up.
"Brendon?" Dallon muttered.

"Yeah, dal?" I whispered back, slowly walking towards the bed.
"Where are you going?"

"Oh just out for a few hours I'll be back as soon as possible. "
I guess it was because he was half asleep but he didn't question me one bit as I walked through the door way.

I quickly drove over to my mother's house, making sure I had my spare key for her door. The moment I parked I jumped out the front seat and sprinted towards the front door, opening it as quick as I could.

Most of the talking calmed when everyone heard me walked in. Guess I made perfect timing because guess who was also here, picking up the kids, Ryan. Ryan was here, out of the hospital, in my mother's house standing right in front of me.

"Oh sorry Ryan I forgot to tell you he was coming over." My mom apologized to him, leaving me quite offended. Is Ryan like friends with my mom?

"Its okay Mrs. Urie, I don't mind we were going to leave soon anyways." Ryan answered back, leaving me awkwardly smiling near the door.

I cleared my throat before walking over to the group. Landon and Jaydon were sat in the other room talking to each other.
"Nice to see you again Ryan." I said kindly.
"Nice ring Brendon, where'd you get it?" Ryan questioned, before pointing at the engagement ring on my hand.
"Righr, uh yeah I- I'm engaged I guess?" I replied

"Oh, congratulations." Ryan said with a sharp tone. I don't know if it's that full bottle of wine I drank yesterday or this is really happening but Ryan was actually upset.

"Thanks."

"Alright well we're leaving now so I guess goodbye." Ryan said, before hugging my mom and calling the kids over.
"Say good bye to dad before he doesn't have enough time for y'all with his new fiancé." Ryan harshly smiled, letting the boys hug me before leaving the house in a rush.

I'm 38, I can handle this. No I can't. Yes I can!

"Uh Brendon," my mom started. "I think he's a little mad at you" my mom said with a little laugh.
"When is he not."

A/N

Merry christler it's late at night and I don't care to proof read thanks.