Chapter 1 - The Decision

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I woke up to the sound of objects hitting the walls downstairs. I sighed and threw my pillow over my head and tried as much as 'they' would allow, to sleep. But of course I was wrong. There was a lot of yelling and then a door slammed shut so fast it probably woke the whole neighborhood.

I lay there on my bed wishing I could just disappear. This has been going on for too long. Usually it would only last a week. My parents had been fighting for over 20 days now. But it's not like I really cared. What difference would it make if they fought or not? Their attitude towards me wouldn't change.

My mom is the kind of person whose reputation matters a whole lot to her. It's always about acting sophisticated and mature in front of people. But her character would change as quick as a flick of an eyelid when she is at home. She would turn mean and uncaring.

My step-father on the other hand is kind, caring and a family guy. I don't know why he married my mom in the first place. Maybe I shouldn't be saying this about my own mom but he could have done better. He doesn't deserve her. I don't know why he puts up with her.

They were probably fighting over which school to send me next as I was recently kicked out of my old school for punching my Science teacher in the face.

What?! I couldn't help it. Her class was quite boring and my ADHD got the better of me.

I could almost make out what my parents were saying, "How many chances do you want to give her?" said mom, "Do you know what people are saying behind our backs? Give up on her already! We should just send her to a boarding school where we don't see her except for summers. I could even arrange it so she wouldn't have to come home at all."

"ASHLEY!! She's your daughter! How can you speak like that?! We've been over this!"

"No Mark. Please!" said mom.

I should probably start tearing up, but no. I was used to this. I accepted the fact that I was a burden to my own mother. I have thought of running away. But where would I go? I was only fourteen with no money or relatives that could help me. I didn't have friends to stay with even.

I decided to get out of bed and go for a walk. I dressed in plain jeans and a green tank top. I grabbed my jacket and quietly opened my door revealing a long boring hallway. I strained my ear to check if they were close. Nope. They must have taken their fight to the kitchen. I walked quickly downstairs and ran out of the house. Usually mom didn't care if I was out late or didn't come back until morning. But today she wanted to have a 'chat' with me about my education and all that stuff so I was not allowed to leave the house.

I decided on going to my favorite place where I could just relax and think. It was a park only 3 blocks away. I made my way to the gate and walked in. The park never failed to make me catch my breath because of its utter beauty. I jogged over to a bench which was facing a shimmering lake. This was my bench.

I sat there staring at the sky. Suddenly from the corner of my eye I saw a black figure move. I stood up so fast I almost knocked myself over. I looked at where I had seen the figure and there seemed to be nothing except for an oak tree with a bunch of kids playing under its shadow.

Surely I had not imagined it? The black figure was too big to miss. But eventually I decided to let it go. I sat on my bench again and started thinking. Thinking about my life. I didn't want to live this way. Maybe my parents were better off without me. Maybe I could do this for my mom. If my disappearing out of her life would make her happy, then maybe that's what I should do. Maybe that's what I will do.

But that was a big decision to make. If I was going to run away, I should just do it and not think of what might happen. If I was going to run away, I should do it as quick as possible before I change my mind.

Yes, that's what I'll do. It was probably for the best.

So my plan was to go home, start packing, and put my plan into action the next night. And that's what I did.

I stood in my room looking around. I couldn't take a bunch of unnecessary stuff as it would slow me down. The thought of running away and finally putting my life into action and moving excited me. It shouldn't have, but I had been here my whole life. Never questioning anything my parents said. Always following orders without doubting them. Anytime I had fallen in trouble, well I couldn't explain them. It was never really my fault. I didn't have control over my actions really.

Like the one time in 4th grade, even though I had been the skinniest girl in my class, I had gotten angry at one of the bullies and unintentionally, without re-considering my actions thrown a book at him resulting into his nose snapping like a twig. I didn't know I had such strength until then. I was very bony so it was hard to believe what I had done.

My mom entered my room without even knocking, startling me out of my thoughts. "It's time for dinner" she said very coldly and then left, obviously in one of her angry moods. She didn't even ask where I had been half the day and why I hadn't shown up to have that 'chat' she'd wanted to have with me.

I went downstairs and into the kitchen. We had Chinese take-outs. As usual. My mom never cooked. She thought she was too 'modern' to cook. I rolled my eyes at that thought and sat down at the table.

Mark, my step-dad, was already seated reading the newspaper. He looked up when I sat down and smiled sweetly. "Hey Rose. How has your day been?"

Wow, what a question. 

"Good, thanks." I answered.

"Rose, your mother and I have been wanting to speak to you." Here we go. " Now, I want you to listen carefully. Ashley and I have thought about this thoroughly. I want you to keep in mind that we both love you very much but we just think it's for the best if you tried a different kind of school this time."

I already knew what he was going to say but I just played along. "What do you mean?"

My mom very harshly blurted out, "You'll be going to a boarding school from now on"

Yeah right I was. "What? You want me to go away for the whole year?"

"You'll be coming back for the holidays of course. And we'll call you every week.", Mark said very quickly trying to make me feel wanted.

I just stared at them with a blank face then started eating the rest of my noodles. After I was done I went upstairs to silently continue with my packing.

Only one more night ....

One more night and I'm out of here.

I would miss them, eventually. Maybe they would have children in a few years and be happy. Maybe Mark would get my mom to change. I hope he does. She is a good person (deep inside. Deep deep inside) and she deserved a shot at a happy life. I wished them both good luck for the future, not knowing that I'd probably be the one needing the luck.

I hadn't done much but I was exhausted. I instantly fell asleep on my bed and found myself in a very disturbing dream.

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