Forgotten - Queenie Goldstein

Chapter 5 - Learning to walk

"Loving you is like learning to walk. I keep falling over but it's worth it in the end. You have to draw strength from somewhere to keep going but when you make it to the end of the race it was worth everything."

No there isn't anyone like you and the metre thought of you keeps me afloat in the sea that is my tears."
Queenie xx

I have to get up and carry on with life so I do. I wipe the tears from my eyes and breathe then open the door and step out into the real world.
Or at least the rest of my apartment. Then I go make myself a British mug of tea. It reminds me of Newt and of a happy story of love. And if they can do it why not me? Maybe there are more barriers in my way but that just makes it more sweet romantic and beautiful when everything works out. I can hear in another room Tina changing. It reminds me that although we may have both cried we are all okay again.
I can make it through this and I will.
But I need to do this whilst my strength lasts.
I pick up my pink jacket and carefully slide my arms into the sleeves. It was what he saw me in last. Not that he has any clue.
I am just walking out the door when I catch sight of my face in the mirror. I stop, my small smile faltering.
I remind myself again and again to keep going.
Then I take a deep breath in and walk into the bathroom and wash my face.
A touch of pink gloss later and I am heading out to conquer the world. Or something like that anyway.
I'm just walking past the mirror again when another thought hits me. Tina.
I rush back into the apartment and knock on the oak/glass door.
"Tina.Are you okay?"
She slides open the door and nods. She's dressed to go out in her grey overcoat.
"Are you going somewhere?" I ask. She doesn't reply but she doesn't need too. I know anyway. For a moment I almost regret my gift. It's not fair on her and I can see her scrambling to reply without upsetting me. Slowly she settles on the truth.
"Yes. I wanted to send a letter to Newt."
I smile at her, try and prove to her I don't mind. Just because romance has gone wrong for me doesn't mean I'm not happy for her. I genuinely am. She deserves this.
"Oh ok"
"What about you where are you going?" Tina says noting for the first time how I am dressed.
"Oh you know, I was just going out to .. buy some bread." I say ever so slightly too sweetly.
Tina obviously thinks so to and she opens her mouth about to question it but decides against it and smiles at me.
"Which bakery are you going to? The one on 6th street or somewhere else?" Tina asks.
I flash her another smile and answer
"Oh just a new one in town. Nothing big."
Tina returns my nervous smiles with a truly genuine smile and says
"Well I better be going. I'll meet you back here?"
"Sure" I reply "See you soon"
Tina smiles and walks past me and out the apartment door. I take a deep breath and grab my purse slipping it into my pink mini-bag. I give Tina a minute head start then slip my feet into heels and head out.
I waited because in truth I don't want Tina to know where I am really going. It's not that I don't trust her it's just that she would try and stop me. I know she's looking out for me and it she knew she would be worried if it would hurt me. But it won't, it's what I need to let go of him and accept it can't happen. But then I see his shop and all thoughts of that disappear from my mind.