Forgotten - Queenie Goldstein

Chapter 14 - Just you

You don't know what it's like to be with you and lose you. All in such a short time. It's not easy and that all spills out when Newt asks about him. I don't cry but I look down and stay that way for a while.
"He's okay. His bakery is doing well. It's very popular and he seems happy enough. He can't remember much just random facts like names. He seems to know that it hurts me and that he can't remember something but not really. It would be easier if he didn't know us but it's hard too keep away."
Newt gives me a sympathetic smile.
"Can I visit his bakery?"
"Ok, but I'm not coming"
"You don't have to. Tina do you want to come?"

Maybe this shouldn't be written as a letter to you anymore. Maybe I should leave you behind. But I can never love another.

I don't know what to do. It's so hard. No one should have to cope with this. And you shouldn't have to either. It's not fair and I want to do something about it.
I don't really know how or what but I can't stay here. I leave a note for Newt and Tina and the leave the apartment with a small pink shoulder bag.

I start just walking through town until I find where my feet have carried me whilst my mind has been too occupied to direct them. M.A.C.U.S.A's headquarters. My mortal enemy. I don't know what I'm doing here but I don't bother to try and turn around I just keep going up and up and up flights of stairs not taking the lift. I climb until I can climb no more and then I stop by a tall never-ending window, panes of glass stretching on.
I hear noises and I duck into a ridden doorway and sit on a carved Woden chair and cry with no sense of time or place.
Until all of a sudden it clicks,why I'm here and where I am. I finally put the pieces together though when the answer is just before me in then form of Serephina Picquery walking into her office.
She sees me and I think she might be slightly taken aback but she tries to uphold her professional image and doesn't let anything show.
She has of course forgotten about me and right now I am in a very dangerous mood.
"Not now. I have more important things to deal with. Is that really anyway to respond to a member of your community?" I ask coldly.
I can see in her eyes that my comment hit it's mark but she pretends otherwise.
"Queenie. How are you?" She asks dismay and frustration clear in her mind.
"Just wonderful thanks. I'm really enjoying being separated from Jacob. Doing wonders for my mental health but really what else would you expect from someone who spends multiple hours crying every day without fail"
Then I stop and my expression softening realise what I have done to this women and just walk out and leave. Gone. Regretful. Then I walk down flight of stairs before Serephina catches up with me sorrow in her voice.
"Queenie. I'm sorry. Please come back and talk to me."
I turn quietly "Ok" then I follow her in silence.

We don't speak until we are sat in her office once more.
"Tea or coffee?" She asks me.
I shake my head and she studies me for a minute before pouring me a mug of coffee with one sugar. Exactly what I would have asked for if I could bring myself too.
She's good. It's only then I notice that I can't hear her thoughts. I reach out to them but it's all too muffled to hear. She knows occulumency. It shouldn't surprise me but it does. My gift is such that I can usually still hear through it. She's the second I have come across with that powerful a mind.
"You're like Graves. You're an occulumens!"
She breathes deeply at the mention of his name. "Yes"
"I don't understand. How come you two can completely block your mind when others can't?" I don't want to show much courtesy to this women who destroyed my life but it's rare to find someone so powerful who understands minds like this.
"Most occulumens can block their mind from someone who is trying to read into their minds through strength but your not like them. Something about your mind makes other minds naturally talk to you. To overrule your own mind requires immense strength and force of character. Few have that natural gift but some, like myself, do.It is often found within those who have immensely powerful magic but the two things are not the same."
I nod. "So Graves had an immensely powerful mind?"
She nods
"Yes he has to have really to be able to play such a convincing role in our community. That's not easy to do. Of course you probably know more about characters and acting than I do"
I sip my coffee " I'm not sure that's true. I understand why people act like they do but sometimes I'm just as clueless as the rest of you. Maybe even less because I'm so used to having this skill that when I meet someone like you I can barely guess why they would learn occulumency."
Serephina nods "Yes I can see why that would be difficult for you"
As we talk I notice something. It starts as emotions at first but slowly I can hear Serephina's thoughts again and she doesn't even seem to be trying to stop them. It's nice to know that she trusts me even though I snapped at her earlier. I shouldn't have but it felt like she could have saved Jacob and I think she feels like that too.
Merely a moment later I hear one of Serephina's thoughts stand out and speak above others.
'I know this is a lot to ask but do you mind if we even this out and both talk in thoughts?'
'Not at all' I will back and with a shock realise she heard that.
'You're a Legimens too!'
'Not as powerful as you but yes. Powerful enough'
Neither of us speak, willing thoughts back and forth and neither of us speak until I let out a desperate screaming cry
"Jacob!Jacob!Jacob!" I feel as though I am wrestling invisible forces binding me back stopping me getting to him. All I know is that he needs help. I heard it loud and clear in this land of thoughts.
"Jacob!Jacob!Jacob!"