Different Sides Of Us (Sequel to Hired For Malik)

Chapter Twenty One

Lindsay's Point Of View

After using the restroom, I made my way back into the main room. The air around me felt relaxing, and I let my body fall back on the couch. Zayn was busy listening to music on the opposite side, and I was left with nothing but my thoughts.

What had Zayn meant when he said what he did? It's not like it was impossible living without one another. If we would have never met, our lives would be far less complicated. But because of how complicated they are, makes it all worht living. And that was a thought that left me confused.

I was always left in a state of confusion when thinking about Zayn. That's how it has always been. And before, I grown used to it and I accepted it. But now it was like I had to get used to everything all over again. Including Zayn. When he came back, he came as another person. One that I didn't recognize. Have you ever been in your room, and feel like something major is out of place but you can't quite put your finger on it? This was exactly the situation I was in.

And then there was Perrie. I will admit, sadly to myself, that she's gorgeous. No girl could really compare themselves to her, and not feel bad about themselves later on. Her ice blue eyes struck well with Zayn's brown ones. They just meshed together. My heart ached at the thought.

But after learning more about Perrie, and what she's like, I don't understand how Zayn can be so blind and stupid. He's always complained to me about how he doesn't have any real, true friends. How they always use him for his money, or fame. And I understand that dating a One Direction member will put you up there. Maybe that's why Perrie dates Zayn in the first place. To get her band on the charts.

I know that they have dated in the past, before Zayn and I ever went out. And I understood that Zayn had feelings towards her, where she didn't. Now it's a second time. I know for a fact that Zayn is smarter than you'd think, but this time I really think he made a mistake. How could he trust her, and her feelings for that matter, to welcome Perrie back into his life? Wouldn't he have second thoughts or doubts about her? How could he truly know that she loved him?

If I was Perrie, I'd be on the phone with him. Making sure he wasn't messing around with another girl, or wasn't doing something idiotic or dangerous. Cause I'd care about my boyfriend. I call Brian every night and morning, occasionally in the evening. And now thinking of him, my body fills with guilt.

Of course the day before he gets back, I have to be sent off somewhere for an interview. Brian is understanding, and he always has been. And I love him for that. But sometimes I wonder if it's ever too much being with me. We're always apart, and I guess getting married ties us down to one another. But the marriage won't change the distance between us. We won't get closer, but we might just get farther. Who knows what's going to come up in my career, or his.

Anyway, this isn't about Brian. It's about Zayn. How could he be so blind? Perrie was using him. Using his money, and fame, to get what she wanted. And she was winning, and he was letting her. All of the boys were too scared to tell him. But they were also blinded to see that in the end, he'd be hurt. More hurt than if they told him first. 

I love seeing Zayn talk about Perrie nicely. He has a sparkle in his eyes, filled with endearment and love. And it pains me to see him so whipped over someone who doesn't feel the same way. No matter how many times she has said those three words to him, she doesn't mean it. She's a cold blooded reptile, and no one can truly learn to love her. 

And no one can truly learn to love Zayn.

If I wasn't with Brian right now, and I was still grieving over losing Zayn two years later, I'd probably be in love with him at this moment. After spending two whole days with him, how could a girl not? He was kind, funny, sweet, passionate. All the characteristics a girl would want in a guy. 

But I can't love him, and I won't. I have Brian, and that's all I need. I could still have Zayn in my life, of course, as only a close friend. And this time, when he leaves, I'll put an effort into contacting him more. I won't lose touch with him like I did last time. Cause it hurt me everyday not speaking to him. And when he walked into my office, it felt like the time at the airport. Like my heart was shattering all over again.

Watching him lie on the couch, conjured memories in my head to replay. The sleepless nights discussing our lives and love for each other. Him laying on the floor while I would make breakfast. The fights we'd have, but too lazy to get in each other's faces. Those were the memories I missed. But they were long gone. And they'd always be in my past. Nothing like that would happen again soon.

Deciding on doing something else than dwelling on the past, I pulled out my book that Zayn had retrieved for me. It was called The Great Gatsby. Previews for the movie had started coming out the beginning of this year, starring Leonardo Decaprio. He's going to be perfect for Gatsby.

Putting my head phones over my ears, I switched some music on and opened my book, ready for the next 3 hours of this flight.

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Don't even tell me how bad this chapter is. I just felt so bad about not updating. It's been about over 2 weeks and I had major writer's block. 

So basically this is just a filler chapter. I wanted you guys to know what Lindsay thought about Perrie, Zayn, and Brian. I'm not sure when, it won't be soon, but I'll do another chapter like this (sorry) probably for Zayn, Perrie, And Brian as well. Just so everything about this story isn't confusing.

I hope you guys don't mind this crappy edit, but please VOTE and COMMENT!

-Taylor xx