shame s.m

eight

trigger warning just in case some of you guys are sensitive to what will be mentioned in this chapter. just a lil reminder that you are beautiful and amazing for making it this far. have the great day you deserve. much love.

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tuesday 6:30 pm

after school, amalie decided to take natalie out for dinner. she knew that she hasn't been happy with the way she looks lately, and the way she's taking initiative isn't good for her health.

natalie was starving herself. she'd wake up at 5 in the morning to work out on an empty stomach. afterwards she'd only have a protein shake for breakfast. at lunch, amalie noticed that she would only eat an apple or not eat at all. she barely ate and it was becoming noticeable, not in the good way.

some might think that she's trying to get healthier, and it's okay that she's eating a little bit because not everyone has a big appetite, but it's so different from what natalie was doing before shawn came into the picture that it's not healthy for her to change her lifestyle so drastically.

"so what are you gonna order?" amalie asked looking up from her menu.

"i think i'll have the soup of the day." natalie replied.

"anything else?" amalie asked.

"what are you, the waitress?" nat joked.

amalie shook her head ignoring it, "no just wondering, because i'm ordering soon."

natalie shrugged it off and called the actual waitress.

"i'll have one quarter chicken with mash potatoes instead of fries, caesar salad and iced tea." amalie said.

"i'll have the soup of the day." natalie added.

the waitress scribbled their orders into a notepad, "that comes with either a dinner roll or crackers."

"is it okay if i have just the soup?" natalie asked.

"um alright." the waitress went off.

"you could've ordered the bread or something and ill just have it." amalie smiled weakly really hoping her friend would've ordered more.

"but you already have mashed potatoes, isn't that a lot of carbs?"

"but potatoes are good for you in moderation. they're loaded with potassium, which will give you energy and restore your muscles, Vitamin C which keeps your immune system healthy so you don't get sick, and other antioxidants." amalie explained.

the food came and they began to eat. it was pretty awkward. ever since the incident with shawn, natalie has become very distant. the other girls noticed it too.

30 minutes into their dinner amalie was almost finished when she looked over at natalie's soup that was probably cold. she barely touched it. that's when she realized it was the right time to bring it up.

"natalie, i think you're beautiful." amalie started.

"that came out of nowhere, but thanks i guess." natalie laughed.

"but do you think you're beautiful?"

natalie thought about what to say. she really didn't want to answer it. if someone were to ask her if she was beautiful a month ago she would've said yes, but now she doesn't know what to say.

"im not ugly, but i'm not stunning." she finally said.

"well, i think you're gorgeous, and whoever thinks you're not can come up to me and i will fight them, because they have no right to say that about you."

"are you implying something?" natalie asked realizing that she was talking about shawn.

"nat, i know what you're doing, i know that you're not eating a lot because of what shawn said about you last month," amalie sighed. "and i don't think it's right for you to base your actions on some stupid fuckboy's opinion. it's not healthy."

deep down inside, natalie knew that it was true. she was hurt from what shawn said because she really wanted to be with him. but she had to protect her ego and build up her walls.

"if you think i'm doing this for shawn, you're wrong. he doesn't want me and i'm over it, stop trying to be my mom." she snapped.

"i'm trying to be your friend," amalie exasperated, not intending to fight. "so why are you doing it?"

"i just wanted to make healthier choices," natalie lied.

"nat, you haven't eaten since this morning and you barely touched your soup. i'm not forcing you to eat, but being healthy doesn't mean starving yourself."

"i'll pay for the bill, i'm not feeling well." natalie said giving up. she knew that amalie just wanted to help, but she was embarrassed of what she was doing and knowing that other people are noticing just made her feel even worse.

"no it's okay, i'll pay. it was my idea anyways." amalie said giving the waitress the cash.

after amalie dropped nat off at her house, she decided to take a walk to central park.

she thought about many things. natalie, her grades, christmas, but one thing kept coming into her mind that she kept wanting to push away, shawn.

he was gorgeous, but he is an asshole especially for what he does to girls. she remembered what he said to her that other day. she doubted he actually thinks that she's beautiful, he was probably just trying to get into her pants. but something about him that one afternoon was different, she just couldn't put her finger on it.

her thoughts flooded her mind that she forgot where she was walking and bumped into a pole. to her dismay the person on her mind was sitting on a bench a few feet away chuckling at her clumsiness.

she tried to ignore him, but it was no use as he was already making his way towards her.

"you didn't see that." she crossed her arms.

"you keep thinking that, hunny." shawn flashed her his famous smile.

"okay bye." amalie turned around to walk away, but felt herself being pulled back gently.

"do you wanna go out sometime?" shawn asked.

amalie laughed bitterly hate building up, "who do you think i am? one of the hundred girls you fuck daily? i think not."

"you're cute when you're mad." he bit his lip. "it just makes me want you even more."

she scoffed and walked away replaying what just happened over and over again in her mind.