shame s.m

twenty three

thursday 10:45 a.m

amalie sat in the lecture hall not paying attention to anything her hot professor was saying. usually she paid lots of attention to mr. sommers but her mind was somewhere else.

it's been a day since the party and she still doesn't know what happened. it's also been a day since she talked to shawn and her friends, except pia since they live together.

the clock ticked slower as amalie replayed the events in her mind. a tear threatened to roll down her face as she remembered the picture that nick took of her from that night.

she debated whether to confront him and if she should tell shawn or contact the police, but she didn't know what to say or if they would believe her.

she felt ashamed of herself for letting him take advantage of her. she felt scared and upset and confused. she had no idea how to tell shawn that. she also didn't know how he would react to that.

shawn's not the softest guy in nyu. he can get quite aggressive. amalie is the one keeping him grounded, but if he finds out what happened to her, he's not going to stay grounded.

for now, amalie decided not to talk about it to anyone, especially shawn until she figures it out.

lecture ended and amalie didn't learn shit. she scurried down the stairs and took a different door to avoid shawn.

shawn waited outside the door patiently scanning the crowd of students coming out. usually amalie was one of the first ones out but he didn't see her. instead he spotted pia.

"hey pia where's amalie?" he asked her as she walked out the door.

"she's not feeling very well so she decided to go home." pia lied. she knew why amalie took the back door and she wasn't going to rat her friend out.

"oh, if you see her can you tell her to call me? shes not answering my calls or texts." shawn said wondering if he did anything wrong.

"okay, i'll let her know when i get home. bye shawn." pia said as chris approached her.

shawn didn't know what amalie wanted. does she want him to visit her and take care of her while she's sick? or is she the type of girl who doesn't want him to see her because she doesn't want to get him sick?

shawn had no idea so he tried calling her again. but like the other ten times, it went straight to her voicemail.

he knew that something was wrong. so he hopped into his car and drove to pia and amalie's apartment.

amalie sat on her bed staring at the wall. she tried her best to remember what happened but all she could think about was the picture. what if nick shows shawn? she began to panic and cry. suddenly she hears a knock on the door.

she carefully got up and checked the peep hole to see shawn standing outside with some coffee.

she decided not to answer the door but then her phone started ringing loudly.

"amalie i know your in there! i can hear your phone!" shawn said desperately.

amalie slid down the door and covered her face with her hands.

"please tell me what i did wrong or at least tell me you're okay." he said.

"go away, shawn." amalie managed to croak out. "i'm sick."

"let me take care of you." shawn said. "please princess i'm worried about you."

"y-you can't, just go home shawn, please," amalie cried as she felt her heart shatter. she didn't want to face shawn it'll hurt him much more than she's hurting him right now.

"if that's what you want." shawn muttered as she heard his footsteps fade out.

she pulled her knees up to her chest and sobbed until she ran out of tears. she was too tired to go back to bed so she just laid there at the door step and fell asleep.

6:00 p.m

after a couple of hours hanging out with her boyfriend, pia came home to find a sleeping amalie sprawled out at the door step.

good thing she didn't swing the door open she could've given the girl a concussion. the light tap of the door woke amalie up.

pia crouched down in front of her friend, "couldn't make it to your bed?"

"it's just so hard no knowing." amalie croaked feeling empty again as she sat up and leaned against the door frame.

"shawn-" pia began but was quickly cut off.

"yeah, i know." amalie breathed. "he stopped by. i didn't answer the door."

"you didn't have to, it's not your fault." pia whispered wrapping her arms around her best friend.

"i don't want to do this to him, i'm hurting him."

"i know," pia cooed. "just think about yourself right now."

"i don't want to think anymore."

-

posting a chapter in honour of shawn's birthday! see you in 3 days king ❤️