Your Love's a Fucking Drag|| Ryden

1

"Hey dallon have you seen my tie?" I said, angrily searching through my drawers.
I heard a few foot steps and turned to be face to face with my favorite tie and Dallon's hand. I smiled brightly, taking the lovely tie out of his hands before thanking him.
I threw it over my shoulder and back around, taking a few times to tie it but it all went well.
Dallon sure the hell didnt know where I was headed but I did. If he found out Im sure he'd kill me.
I grabbed my things and called out a goodbye and an I love you before leaving the house.
Oh, right! You must be wondering where Im going? Well between you and me Im going to see Ryan but to dallon Im off to a nice dinner with my mother.

The sad part about meeting up with Ryan isnt the fact that Im leaving my boyfriend behind to see my ex but the fact Im seeing my ex. In fact not only is he my ex but he's my ex-husband. Who I had adopted two kids with.

Yeah I know its bad but I needed to see my kids. Well, Ryan's kids. He had custody of the kids so I never see them. So to Dallon Ive never been married and I've never had kids. I drove myself to a near restaurant where it was planned to meet. He texted me telling me he was already inside.
So I made myself go in and I quickly found them.
I slapped a smile on my face as Ryan's face was just pure annoyed.

"Hello my boys!" I said brightly before scooting in the booth next to Ryan.
To my surprise both my sons looked at me as if I murdered someone. How dumb!

"Awe you guys are no fun" I pouted.
Ryan just shoved his hand to his face and sighed.

"Look brendon, you get to see the kids every other week. So just make the time last please." He said, just a tad bit annoyed by me.
Ryan left after that, leaving me with the boys. He does this every time. Does he really hate me that much.

"Hey dad" Landon (my oldest, he's 12 now! Im so proud! And also nice name right?! I picked it out)

"Yes?" I answered kindly. I know its awkward for them but I mean Ryan and I had been together for so long.

"I dont get why you and dad cant get along" Owe! The hard question.
Jaydon (my youngest, who's 9 years old) didnt seem to comfortable with the question.
He still wasnt over it even though its been a whole two years!

"Um well you see dad doesnt like me all  too much at the moment" I began trying not to make anything weird, failing terribly.
"He's grumpy because he doesnt like the fact that I left but thats okay!" Another reason Ryan left me, Im childish. I know that but I was never cut out to be a dad! I cant parent all to well.
We went through talking about school and stuff you know blah. Blah. Ryan came and got the kids after we got our one and a half in. As the kids got in the car ryan pulled me off to the side for a moment.

"Brendon, I know you have a new boy toy now but you really need to see the boys more often. I know it doesn't seem like it but they miss you" he explained this calmly. It broke my heart to see Ryan as a single dad. Not too long ago we were a happy family. It was my fault we got divorced.
I nodded and waved goodbye to them and headed to my car to go home. I had ruined eighteen years with the love of my life to be in the vegas scene. Oh yeah also Im 38 now. How fun! Im getting old. Blah.

Yeah, I didnt want to leave them. I wanted to go back home with my kids and just have a normal life with Ryan. For god sakes I still love him! I would die to see him again. Instead of just seeing him a few minutes every other week. I wanted to be able to love him again. I wanted him back but that's so hard when you ended a eighteen year marriage because of your lust for sex. Yeah, sex. I had a problem that I dont have anymore. I remember Ryan crying when we signed the last of the divorce papers. I hurt him and I dont know if he'll ever love anyone again.

So I hopped back into my car and went 'home' to a lovely boyfriend who I kept secrets from. I dont see what he sees in me. I fuck up everything. By the time I was in the drive way to our little home I was bawling my eyes out. So I just turned the car off and cried on the steering wheel. I stayed there for awhile. Until I was interrupted by a small knock on my window. In shock I jumped slightly. It was dallon, and he was worried. I opened the door and stepped out the car, making sure it was locked. I continued crying but I keep a straight face on.

"Brendon" dallon's soft voice was nice to hear.
"Baby, is everything okay? Why are you crying? What happened?" He pulled me into an embrace but that didnt help much.
"It's nothing. Im fine" I sniffed out.
"Bren, You dont seem fine. Can we talk about it please" I didnt answer but we ended up going inside. The house seemed colder than usual. I found myself wrapped in a blanket on the couch. Dallon seemed quite concerned as he watched me cry with a straight face on. I couldnt help it. I dont like crying in front of people. It freaked Ryan out but Ryan hated to see me cry. Yeah, yeah you probably think I should get back with ryan and leave it be but its not that simple. Ryan and I dated since highschool and got married when I was 20. I dont understand why we went through with the divorce to tell the truth but Ryan is still mad at me to this day. I should just say Im sorry.

The rest of the night was fine. Dallon and I cuddled and we fell asleep fast. All is well.

A/N if there are grammar mistakes idc rn suck it up