The Boy Upstairs (DanXReader)

Chapter 26: You can't spell scare with out care~

I'd stayed in the confines of my blanket for a good ten minutes while Dan and Phil did their best to calm me down. I was still having a mild anxiety attack but Dan had at least gotten me out of my cocoon of stress and fear. I was trying to regulate my breathing as Dan held me and Phil apologized profusely. It was obvious Phil felt terrible about the whole situation but I was too terrified to tell him I wasn't angry or upset with him. I was just terrified at the very idea of so many people having seen the video and people possibly recognizing me from it.

Dan held me close and gently coached me through the anxiety attack. I wanted desperately to stop feeling this way. I wanted to tell Phil I wasn't mad. I wanted to just enjoy Christmas with the two of them. I wanted to stop putting them through this with me. I wanted more than anything to calm down and thing rationally about the situation. But all of those wants only seemed to make the anxiety worse. I closed my eyes as tears trickled down my face.

"I'm so, so sorry ____," Phil said for about the fiftieth time. "If... if I'd have known you'd feel this way I never would have shared it..."

"It's okay," Dan said, holding me closer and resting his chin on my head. "Just let it all out. It'll be over soon. You can do this."

After another fifteen minutes I did start to calm down. I sat, leaning into Dan's hold as I took slow and deep breaths. "Feeling better?" Dan asked.

"Y-yea..." I mumbled, wiping my eyes with my hands. "I-I'm so sorry guys..."

"What? What're you apologizing for!?" Phil asked, looking shocked. "You didn't do anything wrong!"

"Yea, that's what I keep telling you," Dan sighed, running his fingers through my hair. "You don't have to apologize. You can't control that you had an anxiety attack."

"B-but-" I started, though Dan quickly stopped me as readjusted us and lifted my face so I was staring directly into his eyes.

"No buts," he said, resting his forehead on mine. "I've already told you that I want to be here to help you through your anxiety attacks. So please stop making yourself feel worse about them."

"...Okay... I'll try," I said quietly.

I looked over at Phil, causing him to start apologizing again. "It's fine," I said, smiling as best I could. "I'm not mad or anything!"

"But you got so upset and it's my fault..." Phil said, looking crushed by the words that had just left his mouth. "I'm so sorry. I can delete my tweet and get the others to delete theirs too, if you want..."

"It's really okay, Phil. I know you didn't mean any harm by it, I just overreacted about it all," I said. "But if it helps, I forgive you. And I don't really see the point in deleting it now... It's already got so many views and all..."

Phil nodded with a slight sigh. "Yea..." he said. "I wish there was something I could do to make it up to you though..."

"Tell me before you share one of my videos next time so I can at least set it up for monetization," I laughed, glancing at the laptop, which Dan had set on the coffee table, and seeing that the like massively overwhelmed the number of dislikes.

"You didn't- wait! Next time!?" Dan said. "You mean you're going to make more of these?"

I looked over at Dan with a small smile. "Well... I mean... maybe. People seem to like this one at least..."

I looked from Dan to Phil repeatedly as they both stared at me for a moment. Soon both of them had big grins breaking out on their faces as they looked at me excitedly. I smiled back, feeling both nervous and excited at the idea of continuing to make YouTube videos.