Detriment

13. when i awoke dear...

     I'm not sure how long it's been since I've been down here. Days go past me without even the slightest of my knowledge and without time, the sun and moon, I'm clueless. Darkness surrounds me 24/7. Pain lingers throughout my body and I'm so alone. All of it... It terrifies me.

     Maybe a month had gone by? Maybe a week. Every time Bradley comes down here, it's to beat me. It's to taunt me and every time, I wished that he would find some sort of happiness within it. It's crazy, how I want him to be happy even with everything he's done, but I love him so much. He's my little brother and the fact that he's unhappy kills me.

Sometimes, Bradley comes down here to feed me the minimal amount of food scrapes that'll keep me alive, yet will never tell me what day it is. He gets angry too, when I refuse to eat or drink the food or water that he brings down. So angry that he'd go on with his assaults before pinning me down and forcing it all down my throat.

     "Ayden is still worried about you, ya know. He even managed to get Derrick and your agency convinced that you're in some sort of danger. I hope they never find you...no. You should hope they never find you." Bradley had said once, laughing at the fact that they were actually attempting to look for me. It confused me though. Why was he laughing?

      More people, mostly agents, visited the house to search for me, checking the main places but never coming down to the almost concealed basement door. Wait, that's a lie... Someone had came and they had found me, although, I wish they hadn't. Why wouldn't I want to be saved though? Why wouldn't I want them to open the door?

      It was the moment that they found me, and had rushed to help me when Bradley had came down. If I would've seen the gun in his hand, desperately would I have tried to protect the person, by screaming and warning them of the danger. I would've tried to get Bradley to stop, to not do something so rash as to commit a murder. I didn't see it, though, and the shots that rang out had sent chills down my spine. It had scarred me, hearing the noise and feeling the blood splatter against my skin. Only then did I scream. I was horrified.

     I knew that I could never be saved as long as they were going to kill anyone who found me and for a couple of day, I was fine with not being saved. If it meant that no one else would die because of me, I was sickly okay with the suffering.

     Nightmares plagued me even more after the person's death, often morphing to the thought of Ayden. That it was him who had found me but also who had been shot in the head. Those dreams scared me more than anything.

      Most of the time, it was Bradley who came down here, so when Cameron came down and flicked on the basement light, I thought of the worse. Or maybe Cameron wanted a turn to mess with me.

     Wait...He had turned on a light? I racked my brain to remember if there had always been a light fixture in here and yet all I could recall was the still black of the darkness. As if reading my mind Cameron smiled.

      "Your brother likes to keep you in darkness. He says the more petrified you are, the better. He likes to watch you suffer. I guess that why you aren't dead yet."

     "And you don't want me to suffer?" The words came out quiet, my throat too weak for anything.

     Cameron shrugged, fixing his hoodie as he walked towards me. Today must've been one of his off days, where he almost seemed like some common guy on the street without any of his designer clothing. I used to love seeing him that way.

     "Suffer? Only when you annoy me baby, it's never personal." I flinched back as his hand reached out to touch my cheek, thinking that he would strike me as he had done so many times before. Instead, he only stroked my cheek, as if I was this fragile being that would break at any second. No, I take that back, he knew that I would break under his rare and caring touch. That was why he didn't even look fazed as I jerked away, trying to hide the tears that were pouring out. Why...? Why did he do this to me?