Detriment

15. so i hung my head...

Charlie's POV

"What!? Baby are you okay, you didn't tell them anything, right?"

   My eyes focused as Bradley paced around the basement, frantic on the phone as he spoke to Cameron. Apparently they had taken him in for questioning and now, Cameron had left the states to go overseas. From what I heard, it was just until this entire business was over.

     It felt as if I was dead. With my body numb, I didn't even feel the beatings that Bradley inflicted on me. I was filthy, I was no doubt sick and my body was filled with infected wounds that seemed to only get worse with each passing day. This fact was very much true for my leg where the barbed wire had pierced through my skin and remained there. Without medical attention, I could lose it but what was the point in worrying about that if I would die nevertheless. Bradley wasn't even trying to keep me alive anymore, no food scraps given to me indicating that he's allowing me to die of starvation.

     "Baby, I'm scared, I don't want to go to jail. Tell me what to do! I'm freaking the hell out, the police came by earlier, and I don't know if they're coming back." Bradley sounded so vulnerable at this moment and so badly did I want to hold him and comfort him. He was still my baby brother and the pained expression on his face saddened me.

      "Cameron! You can't just fucking leave me alone to go on vacation! I don't know what to do! Don't leave me alone!" Bradley screamed while gripping his hair. For the first time, he had allowed the light to be on and I could the terror and hurt etched in his face. Maybe I'm crazy or abnormal because the sight killed me. He stopped walking and I could finally see the watering of his eyes.

     "You promised not to leave me! You were the only thing I actually had and you promised! I fucking...you..." Bradley ended the call, throwing the phone hard against the wall, no doubt letting it shatter. Bradley griped his hair tightly, hyperventilating for a moment before letting out a distressed laugh. "I'm such an idiot." He choked out as he approached me, leaning down on his knees but instead of harming me in any way, he only leaned his head on my dirty shoulder.

     Then, he did something unexpected. He broke down completely. I could tell he was in so much pain and as if I could feel his hurt, my eyes started watering. How had our relationship come down to this? How had we fallen so far apart that Bradley had been so engulfed with pain, struggling so hard to keep his emotions behind some sort of facade that when he was finally left alone in this world, he broke down. And how had I missed it from all of these years. I didn't mean to do it. I didn't mean to make him feel this way.

     Bradley choked on his words and barely could I make them out. "I-I h-h-hate you so much. I-i hate everyone s-so much." Bradley trembled against me, his eyes shut tightly. "He fucking t-took my virginity, h-he swore he would st-stay with me. I-i can't be alone again, I c-cant."

     Even though I wanted to say something or even attempt to make a move, I couldn't. My voice had stopped working days ago and I felt as if my body and soul was disconnected. So I laid there, trying not to slip into the comforting unconsciousness that called out to me because I had left him in the beginning, so right now, I wouldn't leave him. I loved him too much for that.

     I was sorry Bradley. Please understand that.

~

     I didn't quite remember when Bradley had left or I had fallen asleep but when I had awoken, he wasn't there anymore. The light had been shut back off and like before, I was in darkness. It was as if I had never even woken from my sleep, as if I had died. Shame, I wasn't that lucky.