Falling In Love Again - English (translated) || Luke Hemmings

Chapter 18 Aria: Your Heart knows the Answer

Aria 's POV

His eyes were moist. It was unbearable to see that it hurt him but I had to do this. New tears escaped from my eyes. I couldn't believe that I just said that to him. Honestly I wanted him to stay here, with me... but I knew that wasn't the right thing to do. This time I have to listen to my head so my heart won't deceive me. I wasn't supposed to feel this way again, then why did I? Am I falling in love again? Slowly slackened his grip and he let me go. 'Is that really what you want?' He asked with a trembling voice. It was silent for a moment. I looked away, not wanting to look at his sad face. 'Say yes!' Said a voice in my head. 'You know it's for the best.' But that's not what I wanted. 'I want to be with Luke, hug him, kiss....' I shot back to the voice. What was I thinking? Being with a guy who leaves for eight months to travel the world? Really Aria, get your shit together! I took a deep breath and turned my head to face the broken boy infront of me. How on earth am I supposed to say this? I swallowed hard when I looked into his piercing blue eyes. This is probably the last time i'll see them... Luke stared back at me, waiting for my answer. For the last time I swallowed before opening my mouth to speak. 'Yes.' I said weakly. I immediately regretted saying it but I kept my mouth shut. Luke took a step back and turned his gaze away from me. Shit! I feel so stupid! I thought. He blinked and nodded before walking towards the door. When he opened it, he stopped for a second and looked back to me. 'Take care of yourself... please.' He spoke softly almost begging and then left the room. My whole body felt like it was frozen. I quietly listened to Luke's footsteps on the stairs. The front door opened and closed. I quickly turned around to the window to catch a glimpse of the blond guy, running down the driveway. It was the worst thing ever, watching him run away from me because I told him to. When Luke was out of seight, I felt empty. Why did I feel this way? And why was this feeling so strong? I couldn't explain it. More tears welled up as I ran to my bed. When I reached it, I let myself fall forward and hid my head in my pillow.

Screaming and sweating I woke. Luke's heartbroken gaze lingered in my head. These feelings were so overwhelming and confusing at the same time. After Luke left, I cried myself to sleep. In my dream I saw Luke, just Luke. His face just as heartbreaking as the last time I saw him. I tried to explain my feelings to him but it seemed like he couldn't hear me. It was scaring me. My heart was pounding while breathing heavy. The door of my room slowly opened relieving my mother in the doorway wearing a light blue robe. "What's all the fuss dear?" She asked worried. I looked away still trying to catch my breath while my mom sat down on the edge of my bed. 'Nasty dream?' I realized that I really wanted to tell her because I needed to get things of my chest. All the "Luke drama" I mean... I used to tell her everything, absolutely everything. But after the whole thing with Austin I repelled her from me. Don't know why I did that but I know now that I really missed talking to her. 'Mom? I want to tell you something...' I looked my mother in the eyes. 'But it's not a short story, so if you prefer to go to sleep, I totally understand.' I continued uncertain. 'No, no sweetie, I have all the time. Tell me about it.' She replied. I shoved to the side of the bed so she could sit next to me. When she did, I crawled to her and started talking. 'It's about Luke...'

An hour later, I finally pronounced. 'Oh darling.' My mom whispered while putting her arms around me. I loved it when she held me like this. It reminded me of so many good memories I had with her. My mom has always been there for me even when I pushed her away. It's weird that I realize all of that right now. I thought. A few minutes later, I pulled away and looked at her. 'So now what?' I asked in tears. I hated feeling emotional but with only my mom to see the tears, I didn't feel ashamed. She sighed and wrapped her arms around me again. 'You've pushed Luke away and I know you only did that because you're afraid.' It was quiet for a moment and I saw her searching for the right words. 'Sometimes you need to push yourself and face your fears cause in the end it only makes you stronger and happier.' She paused. I waited for her to continue in silence. 'You can not let your fears decide on your luck. I know it's very difficult to overcome them. For that you sometimes have to take a risk. Stop holding on to these thoughts about what's right or wrong. Instead follow your heart, it will guide you to a place you really want to be.' I opened my mouth to say something but I quickly closed it when I realized that my mom was right. How does she knows all of this? I asked myself in thoughts. 'So what do I do now?' I asked after a while. My mother just smiled at me like I was a young child asking something that was so obvious. She got up from the bed and gave me a kiss on my forhead. 'Your heart knows the answer.' She whispered before walking towards the door. 'Wait! How do exactly know what my heart wants?' I quickly asked. My mom turned around and smiled once again. 'I think you already know what your heart wants, sweetheart.' Then she left my bedroom. I sighed deeply. She was right I already knew the answer. My heart knows what I want, so do I. I didn't needed words, just one name, one person... 

A/N:

Heeeey! Sorry for not updating often. I'm just really busy with school and my dutch stories. Also! Sometimes i'm really uncertain about my translation but I see this as a challenge since our english lessons are too easy. It's really fun to challenge myself to do this and I hope you like the story. Please vote and/or comment cause that really helps me a lot ;D

thank you so much

xxx

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Sasha