Strings Attached

Chapter 23

Why is his hand warm?

That's the first question he has when he wakes up. Castiel opens his eyes and looks around, finding some guy sitting next to him, holding his hand. He's way older than Castiel. Should he know the man?

"Castiel, thank god," the man says, seeming relieved.

"Castiel?" he repeats. "What's that?"
He can see the relief turn to what looks like fear. Why is he afraid? Who is he?

"You're Castiel," the man reminds him.

"I am?" he repeats, laughing. "That's a stupid name. Who names their kid Castiel?"

"I did," he replies. "You — you don't remember?"

"I have the same name as your kid?" Castiel asks.

"No, you are my kid!" the man says. "I'm your dad! Chuck, remember?"

"What? You're... My dad. I have a dad. Yeah. You're... You're my dad?"

He feels like he can see the Chuck guy's heart break when he say this. "You don't remember me?"

"Um.. Should I know you?" Castiel asks, confused.

Chuck opens his mouth as if to say something, but then stops himself. "I guess not," he says sadly.

"I feel like I've seen you before," Castiel muses, and a look of hope returns to the man. "You're... You're older than I remember, but I know you. You... You live with me. Me and my brothers."

"Yeah, I do," Chuck replies, smiling. "You, Michael, Lucifer, Gabriel, Samandriel, and Anna."

"And who now?"

"Anna?"

"Who that?"

"That's... That's your sister. Your little sister."

"I don't have a sister," Castiel replies. "I want a sister, but I don't have a sister. You and Mom always tell me you can't just make me have a sister, and it's really annoying."

"What?"

"But mom... I don't have a mom, either," Castiel says, confused. "But she... What about Mom? Do — do I have a mom?"

Chuck shakes his head sadly. "No, she... She passed eleven years ago."

"But that's impossible," Castiel protests. "I just saw her a few... I don't know. I just saw her. I did. Not that long ago. Right? Like, a week? Or... Or longer? I — I don't know. I saw her. I did!"

"Um, Castiel?" Chuck says hesitantly. "Do you know what year it is?"

Castiel thinks about this for a second. "Mm... 2012? Ish?"

"How old are you?"

Castiel thinks again. "Um... Eight?"

"It's 2016," Chuck tells him. "You're fifteen years old. You're a sophomore in high school."

"I'm not in high school," Castiel replies. "Lucifer's in high school. And Michael's in college. Wait... They're twins. So they're both in college... So I'm in high school? Oh, I remember high school! Yeah, it sucks." He laughs, delirious from everything that's happened. "Oh, wow it sucks. It's like hell, but worse. 'Specially those guys."

"Who?" Chuck asks.

"Uh... Yellow Eye Guy," Castiel says, thinking. "Um... The... That guy. Um... I don't know. But Crowley makes it worth it. Wait... No, I don't like Crowley, either. Crowley... He's mean. He's supposed to be mean. Then why... Dad, I'm confused! Wait, why'd I call you Dad? Oh, right. You are my dad!"

"I'm sorry. I can't help with this one. I don't know these guys," Chuck replies.

"Neither do I," Castiel says. "It's confusing. But I know... I know they're mean. I remember that. They, uh... They hurt me. A lot. A... A lot a lot. Yeah. Especially in the bus. No, not on the bus. I don't take the bus. But Ala... Alasomething is on my bus. How's he on my bus if I don't take the bus? But he is on my bus. I remember that. He... He sat next to me. But we aren't friends. Why'd he sit next to me? Oh, I remember! Cuz he doesn't like me! Yeah, he wanted to... He wanted to... Be mean to me... Uh... Why? Why doesn't he like me? Um... Oh, cuz... Cuz I'm... I'm a fag? Dad, what's a fag? He called me a fag. What's that?"

"It's, uh, it's someone that likes men," Chuck tells him. "A guy that likes guys. What else do you remember from school?"

Castiel thinks about it, speaking as the thoughts come. "Uh... There are three of them. Yeah, three. There's Yellow Eyes, Bus Guy, and... and Crowley. But I like Crowley. Or, I used to like Crowley... But there's another. There's someone else that's mean to me... A few, actually, but this one... I can't think of him, but I know he exists.

"But they, uh, they... lockers. Yeah, they threw me into lockers a lot. Why do they throw me into lockers? I don't know. People are weird. Um... They hurt my back. I remember that. How did they... Oh, from the lockers. Yeah.

"One of them calls me angel. Crowley. Yeah. And... I have another nickname... C... Ca... I don't know. Something. That one's nicer. Why's it nicer than angel? I don't get it.

"I don't take the bus, though! I remember taking the bus, cuz Bus Boy pushes me around, but I don't take the bus. I... I walk to school. And home. Why? It's so much longer. But I like it. I don't know why, but it's my favorite part of the day. I don't... I don't get it. Why do I like walking to school alone?" He looks at Chuck expectantly.

"I don't know," Chuck admits. "You just do."

"Oh."

"What else do you remember about school?" Chuck asks curiously.

"Nothing," Castiel replies. "I don't... I don't remember anything."

"Alright, well, I'm gonna get the nurse. Stay here."

Castiel agrees and tries to relax in this uncomfortable bed. Where is he? He doesn't like it. Not at all. He doesn't like any of this.