Strings Attached

Chapter 96

"You ready?" Jim asks softly.

Castiel nods silently. He's waiting for the sign to go get ready to play. Apparently, not only is he debuting his new single today, he's performing it on live tv. This is going to end horribly. He is one hundred percent sure of that. Fortunately, he's been practicing, so if all else fails, he has his muscle memory to rely on.

"Go," one of the behind-the-scenes people instructs, gesturing for him to go behind the curtain in the back of the stage. Castiel obliges, though he's shaking from nervousness. What if he messes up? What if he plays the wrong chord, or says the wrong line? What if he's out of beat with the people he's performing with? He finds himself wishing this were a solo act like his first song was. He may not like the attention, but at least he wouldn't have to listen to the other people as he plays.

"And our next guest is the youngest artist to reach number one on the Billboard Hot 100 since the sixties. It's Castiel Novak!"

The applause accompanies the opening of the curtain, and suddenly, Castiel is faced with a crowd of what has to be hundreds of people watching him. Well, fuck. This is going to be bad.

But it isn't. Castiel manages to play through the whole thing without making any mistakes that he can notice, and if he doesn't notice any, no one else does, either. He gets a loud applause that nearly blows his eardrums out, and he puts the guitar down and walks up to Jody. He was already told that was what to do before the show, when he had a bunch of brief conversations with people he doesn't know, Jody included.

"Hey, Castiel," Jody greets him with a kind smile and a hug, which he returns awkwardly. "I'm glad you could make it. Have a seat."

The two of them sit down in the giant cushiony chairs that are angled so they both face each other and the audience. Castiel carefully keeps his gaze away from the people watching him, pretending he's just having a normal conversation. Of course, he also sucks at conversations, so maybe that isn't his best course of action. He should have just gone to Dean's graduation.

"So," Jody begins, "this is your first time on tv, right?"

Castiel nods. "It is."

"Are you excited?"

"Excited"? Not exactly the word he'd use for it. More like "regretting all his life decisions."

"Uh, yeah," Castiel lies. "And overwhelmed. Mostly overwhelmed." He glances out at the audience. "That's, uh, that's a lot of people," he adds with a slightly nervous chuckle.

"I guess now would be the wrong time to bring up everyone watching at home, huh?" Jody laughs.

"Yeah, probably," Castiel agrees. "I'm just gonna hope I don't say something really stupid, but, uh, knowing me, I probably will," he jokes. Well, maybe it's not also much of a joke, but he plays it off as one. Fortunately, it earns a laugh from the audience.

"Well, we're, like, thirty seconds in, and you're already making people laugh," Jody observes. "So far, so good, huh?"

"Better than I expected, at least," Castiel replies.

"And I love that new song of yours," Jody adds. "The one you just performed."

"Oh, thanks," Castiel replies. He remembers being told not to just use short answers like this, so he decides to add to it. "I feel like it's kinda different than 'Playing with Fire,' but a good different."

"Definitely," Jody agrees. "I'm guessing it'll be a hit, too. And congratulations on the number one, by the way."

"Thanks."

"How does it feel, not only having a single out, but a number one hit single?" Jody asks.

"It's... It's unreal," Castiel replies. "I'm still amazed every time I hear it on the radio, so having it at number one, especially for two weeks straight, is insane."

"How'd you find out about that?" Jody asks.

"Um, my brother yelled it across the house," Castiel recalls, earning some laughs.

"And you wrote that song, didn't you?" Jody asks.

Castiel nods. "Uh, yeah, I did." Dammit, Castiel, stop using words like "uh" and "um." Why does he have to be so socially awkward?

"It's amazing, especially for someone so young," Jody tells him. "You're only, what, fifteen, right?"

Castiel nods. "Yep, for another, um, two weeks." Or is it three? No, it's two. Okay, pull yourself together, Castiel.

"Well, happy early birthday," Jody replies.

There's a chorus of "happy birthday!" from the audience.

"Thanks," Castiel replies, giving them a smile before turning back to Jody.

"I think a lot of people are wondering what it's about," Jody says. "Care to explain?"

Dammit. He didn't think he'd have to do that. But he can't say no. He's not Taylor Swift. He can't just decline it because he's still making his first impression with the public, and he'd like it to be a somewhat okay one.

"Well, um, there was a time when I would do anything to not have to talk to people," Castiel explains. "But, uh, there was someone that I just couldn't not talk to, even though I knew I probably shouldn't because he was never the nicest person to me, so, yeah. I was sort of playing with fire, so to speak."

"I can't help but notice the male pronouns," Jody observes. "But the way you talk about him — or sing about him, technically — in the song makes him seem like more than a potential friend. Am I just looking too much into this, or...?"

"Depends," Castiel replies. "If I admit that I'm gay, will you be more mature about it than my school? Because I've been shunned once, and I don't really need that again."

"Don't worry," Jody says. "I think we're all a bit more accepting than them." She turns to the audience. "Right, guys?"

There's a lot of cheering, which is a relief to Castiel. He kind of guessed by the laughter he got for his answer that they were okay with it, but the confirmation is nice.

"See? All good here," Jody says with a grin. "And whatever happened to that guy from the song?"

"We're actually dating now," Castiel tells her.

"Well, congratulations on that," Jody replies. "How long's it been?"

"Five and a half months," Castiel answers without hesitation. He knows exactly how long they've been dating. "Since New Years," he adds.

"New Years kiss?" Jody guesses.

Castiel nods. "Yep."

"Well, I wish you two the best," she replies. "One more thing. What advice do you have for anyone who wants to be like you?"

"Don't," he jokes, earning a laugh. "But really, I'm here because I got lucky for once in my life. I'm definitely not a role model for you. You can't just, like, wait for the opportunity to come to you. You have to fight for it. Don't give up, no matter what."

This earns a huge round of applause. Castiel has to admit, he's applauding himself mentally as well. That was actually a pretty good answer.

"Thank you so much," Jody says over the applause. "Castiel Novak everybody! And when we return, we'll have..." Whoever she says gets lost in the applause, but Castiel doesn't really care. His part is over. The hard part is done. Thank god.