70's Porno Music

Beverly

Jan. 25. 1973

I don't remember sleeping with Joe last night.

When I turned my head this morning, I saw his stubbly beard move with his breaths. I shook him till he woke and kicked him out.

He kept telling me he loved me. The sad thing is, I believe him. But I couldn't love a man who thought my body was his to hurt.

I remember drinking some wine and scrummage for some pills. I remember them being taped in a plastic page against the highest cabinet. I had to throw off my red heels and stand on the counter. I remember being so drunk I almost fell down.

I got them. And I swallowed them. And my vision was blurry but I couldn't stop laughing. I was so happy.

Joe was good in bed but bad at love.

I tried to call that number a few days ago. They didn't answer. Whoever it was. I couldn't wait forever so I hung up. I had a shoot that day.

I'm getting closer to meeting Hugh. Don says it will be soon. He's throwing a huge party in a couple of weeks. I have to find a dress to wear. I'm thinking purple. I love purple on me.

I went to that shoot that day. It was with two guys. One was greasy and repeatedly asked me for drinks after.

I said yes.

He was provide me with some heroin and honest compliments.

Ray. I think was his name. Or Roc. Something with a 'R' that was very short lived. He let me shoot up some and kissed me a few times.

It's like the permanent taste of cheeseburger was on his lips. It was disgusting. But his drugs were good and he was nice. So nice.

We didn't sleep together. I know that. He just wanted some company.

I stumbled home that night.

Today, I had nothing to do. I received my check and already bought a new pack of cigarettes. I wrapped up in my pink robe and wondered around my apartment.

That number still laid next to my phone.

I tried it again and actually got an answer. It was a man. He sounded like he was in a rush. I asked him how I know him.

He asked me who I was.

I said my name like I could barely remember it.

He told me his name was Roper and we met at a New Year's party. We smoked together and I told him I was warm.

My body flushed again today just like it did tonight.

I remembered Roper. And how I cried in front of him. I hung up because I was too embarrassed to continue.