70's Porno Music

Roper

March 17, 1973

This time Bev called.

In tears and hurried breaths.

"I'm sorry Roper. Say you're sorry too."

I did regarding the fact that I didn't think I did anything wrong. I asked her if she needed me and the only thing I heard was earrings hitting the side of her phone. So I asked her again and she said no. Her makeup was ruined and she wouldn't let me see her so messy.

I told her I didn't care. I didn't care one bit. She was so f*cking beautiful, nothing could deteriorate that.

It was silent on her line for a bit and then a few sniffles sounded out.

"Come over."

And so I did. She was a mess. An incredible mess in her apartment that resembled a town after a tornado hit. Everything was everywhere. Even lipsticks were broken in half.

She answered the door, black tears streaming down her face. Her hair was in its natural state at the crown of her head.

I asked her what was wrong. She told me it was this thing. This thing that happened once a year, during this time.

I held the back of her head and kissed the space between her eyebrows. It was time for her to sleep. It was a wrestle, getting those eyelids to shut because she would burst into tears every time she closed them.

But eventually I did. And I straightened out her space as best as I could with no knowledge on where anything goes.

I want her.

Her eyes are smudged in black and gold and I've never wanted someone more in my life. She is a mess in this perfect world I thought I had. She is truth and I don't want to be a part of a lie.

I'm sitting her apartment now. Baby the bunny smashed against the floor. Maybe I'll get it fixed for her.

I cancelled dinner plans I had with Ma and her new boyfriend. Because even if Bev isn't awake, I want to be here. I am falling for this woman. And what I've seen here, I know it may end in terrible heartbreak.

Can I let myself go all the way? Could I fall in love with her? Actually, can I let myself fall in love with her?

My head hurts. I need to write a new song. Maybe about how you can watch someone so sad and can't do a thing about it.

Oh, and Happy St. Patrick's Day.

(Roberta Flack DOES NOT play Bev. Bev is whoever you imagine.)