hide ➳ taeny ✅

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Taeyeon and I had been friends for a very long time, 11 years to be exact. Through all the drama that came with being in SNSD, we tuck by each other and I was extremely thankful to have her. She was like my rock. We were so close, some people thought we were dating. I mean we often acted like a couple and jokingly called each other 'wifey', but it was never serious. At least, at first it wasn't and we didn't think it was.

It wasn't until two years ago that we (or at least I did) really realized what we had wasn't just a normal friendship.

---

"What do you mean?" I suddenly broke out in English after Taeyeon told me her news.

"Fany-ah, please calm down," said the older girl.

"Why are they making you two date? You barely see each other," I said, returning to Korean.

"They aren't making us date. They simply said Baek was interested in dating me and since we've gotten kind of close lately, maybe dating would be a good thing. Plus, we'd make time to see each other. We are from the same company after all."

"I don't think you should date," I said a little harsher than I had intended.

"Why?!" Taeyeon replied, hurt ringing in her tone. I didn't know what to reply, so I just stayed silent and looked down.

"Why are you so upset anyways?" Taeyeon added and paused briefly before continuing. "It's not like I'm leaving you... plus, you have Nichkhun."

That was true. I did have Nichkhun and I had no reason to be upset. I had a wonderful boyfriend and Baekhyun was a nice guy who could potentially make Taeyeon very happy. "You're right... I'm really happy for you." I finally said and put on a smile for her. For some reason that I ignored at the time, hearing Taeyeon dating someone hurt me way more than it ever should. Why would it hurt anyways?

Oddly enough, Taeyeon seemed a little disappointed with my answer, but I couldn't tell what she was feeling as her expression soon turned into a brighter one. "Thank you Fany-ah."

---

After that, Taeyeon started to go on dates with Baekhyun and officially started dating in February 2014. Meanwhile, I was spending more time with Nichkhun. I told myself it was because I missed him, but deep down, it was to try and forget my she was with someone else. It was much harder to see him, though, since we weren't from the same company and couldn't sync up our schedules. Additionally, in just a few days, we (SNSD) were to start filming our reality show to promote our latest album and not only we're we going to be busy, but we were also going to travel to the States. At least, I had a planned with Nichkhun later today.

Behind the lies I kept telling myself, I didn't see Nichkhun as my boyfriend because there was only one person who had my heart and she wasn't available. After Taeyeon announced to me she was going to start dating Baekhyun, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Previously, I had felt these little pinches on my heart whenever I saw someone being closer to Taeyeon than normal, but I never understood why. Seeing her actually date someone that wasn't me made me realize my true feelings for my best friend. She wasn't just a best friend.

Nonetheless, I had to pretend those feelings weren't real because netizens would never approve of this and probably most of our Asian fans wouldn't either. Just because the public believed our lies didn't mean the rest of SNSD bought them.

"You two are so obvious." Yoona said out of nowhere while we were in our dressing room. We were preparing to shoot solo shots for our 'Mr. Mr.' MV. It was our leader's turn and she had asked us for advice on what to do since the director gave her blank canvas to do what she wanted.