hide ➳ taeny ✅

f i f t e e n

My eyes grew wide at Taeyeon's question. "Why would I want to break up? Is there a reason for me to want that?" She kept quiet and that was what made my heart race even faster. Did that silence mean 'yes' or 'no'? "Taeyeon..." I called her softly. "Please look at me."

She lifted her head so our eyes met and it was as if her eyes told me everything. They screamed vulnerability and fear. But fear of what? "I need you to answer a question for me and I want you to be completely honest." She nodded slowly. "Have you been cheating?"

She frowned. "What?! No! Why would you think that?"

"You've been acting distant, you barely talk to me and you lied to me."

"Lied to you about what?"

"I wanted to surprise one day at the studio since you've been working so hard. Guess what? When I arrived, I was greeted by a producer who told me you didn't have anything scheduled that day and you hadn't gone there anyways." To that, she stayed silent again. Was that my answer? "Where were you?"

"I was... I was..." She stuttered and her breathing got louder. She looked down again and her frown was still on her face. "I don't know where I was."

"What do you mean?"

"I had gone for a drink at some bar and then I wandered around. I must've passed out because I woke up in a field."

"Taeyeon... why?"

"I was scared... I am scared."

I looked at Taeyeon and tried to read her face to see if I could ask the question that was on my mind. "What are you afraid of?"

She finally looked up and our eyes met. "You."

"Me?" My tone went up a notch and I took a step back.

"I'm afraid of you realizing how lousy of a person I am. How lousy of a girlfriend I am. I'm scared that one day, you'll realize that you deserve so much more and that I'm not good enough for you."

"Tae... where did those thoughts come from?" I took a step forward this time and grabbed her hands.

"I was at the company one day, and I know I shouldn't care, but I overheard some staff members talking about me, about us. They said a lot of stuff, but the one thing that stood out to me was 'what is Tiffany even doing with Taeyeon? She should've stayed with Nichkhun. Taeyeon is always busy. I never see them together. I bet Taeyeon spends more time on her music career than on her relationship.'" The short-haired woman's eyes were now glassy. Tears threatened to escape.

"You're right, you shouldn't care. What those people say about us, it doesn't matter to me. I don't care that people might think I should've stayed with Nichkhun. I never loved him and you make me happy. We might not always be together, but I carry you in my heart all the time and whenever we do spend time, just the two of us, it's the best time of my life. Stop worrying about me leaving you or thinking that you're not enough because I'm not going anywhere Kim Taeyeon and you are perfect for me." I cupped her face and looked her in the eye. "I love you, Taeyeon."

She gave me a gentle smile and pulled me in for a kiss. "I love you too." She whispered against my lips.

Everything was definitely better after our emotional talk. We had settled that we should always say what's on our mind, no matter how bad we think it might affect us. Communication is key in a relationship after all.

Taeyeon's doubts didn't instantly disappear, obviously, but we're working on it. She's working hard on making our relationship work better and I'm doing my part as well.

Recently, it's been a little hard since I've been extremely nervous for my solo debut. I've been practicing so hard to perfect the choreography. I want it to be at its best and my girlfriend has been an amazing partner this whole time.

There was less than 24 hours before my solo mini-album was released and going through a day full of interviews as well as a v live was nerve-racking. "Fany-ah, calm down. You know what you have to do. You're ready for this and you know it." Taeyeon suddenly said as I was pacing around our living room.

"Can you give me a hug, please?"

Taeyeon chuckled and pulled me in tightly. "Being nervous doesn't suit you." She said softly and kissed my cheek. "You're gonna do great, my pink princess."

"Yah, stop teasing me with random nicknames." I said and hit her arm.

"See, you smiling is already much better than before! Now, go and be the star you were born to be." She said and ushered me out for me to go to my schedule.

"Thank you, boo." I said and kissed her one last time.

The day went by quicker than I expected and before I knew it, it was 11 PM and that meant that my live broadcast was to start soon. My manager gave me last words of encouragement before I went to take my seat.

I greeted the fans watching and proceeded with what we had planned for the broadcast. I tapped in some hearts and talked with Yuri and Sooyoung. Receiving their call did calm me down a little. I didn't like being all alone that much. Sure, I was excited to have an album where I would be able to express myself to the fullest in every song, but I wasn't used to being without my members. They really were like family to me.

We continued on with the broadcast after those two called in and while watching the teaser video, my mind went to Taeyeon. I wondered if she was watching the live right now at home. She was a little busy today for the preparation of her second mini-album, but she should be home by now.

After the clip ended, I announced that we would be watching the video (again) by accident. All that because my mind was occupied by my girlfriend... I listened to snippets of my songs with the viewers and again, I thought of Taeyeon.

She still hadn't called. I was secretly wishing she was the first one to call me, but of course, I didn't really expect it to happen. I wonder if she will call me later. There isn't much time left to the show.