Crybaby

I knew it wouldn't last

Oh no. Oh no. The snap back to harsh reality. And then some more.
People say that nothing is real when you are a teenager. Love, hate, sadness. But it feels pretty damn real to me.
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Going back to school after winter break is ten times worse than ever, at least it feels that way. The break was like a quiet pocket of peace that they just want to keep.

A quick review-
Troye is in paradise with Jacob.
So much so that he doesn't notice a few things.
Paradise won't last as long as you'd hope.
But that's the for later.

Crybaby let her friends in to her mind in a song, and now Yolandi will not stop bugging her about singing. "You are gonna be so big one day."
Crybaby is happy to see Johnny again too.

Electra had a good time, but there was the constant reminders of Lana's absence. She doesn't yet know what happened to her.
She fills up the space with Brendon. It's not working.

Lana cakes on as much makeup as she can to try and cover her cheeks and eyes, tired and puffy from crying. Maybe she puts it up as a sort of shield from the words at school. Before she had told herself she could handle it.
Before it was a little different.
Brooklyn boy had used her. He hasn't loved her. She was so obsessed and young she couldn't see.
She learned from some alcohol and some sex and some overheard conversations and a punch in the arm.
She won't be able to hold her head high when all the fresh insults bring him up every few minutes.
She won't tell Electra. Lana knows how upset she already is and knows things won't go well.

When Lana first walks through the doors of the school she can feel it already, the eyes on her and the quiet words in others ears. She is the first fresh meat of the year.
The first words come from a girl with red hair and sharp eyes.
"So you like older guys?" She says it quietly but everyone can hear it. Lana just walks past.
The she hears another voice behind her.
"Brooklyn baby."
And then another.
"Wanna give me some? Like you gave him some? Didn't know you were a slut."

She feels the sensation of heat stinging the corners of her eyes, and she has to stare at the ground in fake determination. Then she hears a different tone of voice.
Electra.
Lana turns. To the first, Electra shoots a sugary sweet smile and says "Katy, you couldn't get a senior if you wanted to and you haven't dated anyone but that blond kid since seventh grade. And you-" she addresses the girl who said 'Brooklyn Baby' earlier- "Everyone can see you staring at Mr. Miranda's ass for the entire math class so I wouldn't bother calling her that.
And finally, you, Matt. Your ego is forty times the size of your dick and you and I both know you are gonna be a virgin forever." With that she gives a little giggle and grabs Lana's hand, not waiting around for a reply.

When Lana looks up to say thanks, Electra immediately knows there is something wrong. The makeup, the eyes, the shiny blinked back tears. The only thing she can't see is the bruise under Lana's sleeve.

"The first school lunch of the year and we are already off to a bad start." Alessia announces as she drops lunch tray on the table. She hates the school food and she forgot to make a lunch so she has to eat it today. Troye laughs and reaches over to steal a french fry. His face scrunches up after he puts it in his mouth. After running to spit it in a trash can, he walks back and says, " You are right Alessia. Disgusting." He sits back down next to Jacob.
"Did you guys know it's supposed to snow a lot tomorrow?" Crybaby asks excitedly, taking a sip of her chocolate milk. She loves anything chocolate. "That's neat. We should all go sledding together." Lorde says absentmindedly.
When Lana sits down the mood changes. It's quiet.
They don't know.
They also don't know that Electra is carefully unwrapping a letter she found in her locker with her name scrawled neatly across the front.
She pushes her locker shut and leans against it to read.
Dear Electra Heart,
You messed up. Very badly. You and your sweet fake smiles, you and your disgusting self. You kissed the wrong boy and messed with the wrong girl. Revenge is something I do well. We both know you can't tell a soul because it would only make things worse. Lana brought it upon herself.
Troye is next.
xoxo
- K

Electra's stomach drops.
Her hands begin to shake.
Kayla.
Kayla.
She is going to do something to Troye. She knows. This is my fault. It's my fault.
Electra shakes. And shakes.
She can't go to lunch.
She sits in the bathroom.
She doesn't know what to do.
Everything is falling apart.
She doesn't know it yet.
She sort of does actually.

The only highlight of the next few days is a snow day.
They sled together, racing down the hill laughing and screaming.
Troye is chewing some bubblegum.
He tugs a blue sled up the hill and disappears with Jacob behind him.
They race back down and nearly hit Crybaby.
"Watch it!" She yells, laughing, and covered with snow.
Crybaby is tapped on the shoulder by Yolandi.
"Jacob is chewing Troyes gum." She whispers in a frenzy of giggles.
It's true, the gum Troye was chewing is no longer in his mouth.
That's why they disappeared.

Electra hasn't been speaking much but no one can get anything out of her no matter how hard they try.
She knows something is coming.
She knows paradise is ending.
And then in Friday it does.
Alessia is the second one to know.
Jacob is the first.
Alessia knows because she is stumbling through the snow at the playground on Friday, trying to find Troye and bring him to her house like they had planned.
She turns a corner and hears it.
She looks to the left.
She scans down the brick wall.

And then her hand flies over her mouth.
Troye.