Tsunami Shorts (Kehlani One Shots)

Scream.

Every sweet nothing she ever whispers to him cuts my soul deeply.
Every kiss she places on his lips enrages me.
Every time she grabs his hand firmly it nauseates me.
Every single "I love you" she hums to him infuriates me.
Every song she writes about him turns my stomach.
Every finger she rakes through his hair disgusts me.
Every moment she spends alone with him fucks with me.
Every time I think of her calling his name while he's deep inside of her... it makes me want to live through him vicariously.

I can't.

It's gotten so bad to where I can even stomach the site of her. I know that when she comes around I'll get butterflies and feel so high.
That's when I realize she's not mine, and I get terrified.
Because what if we grow apart and she starts to trust him more than me?
I wouldn't be able to eat.
I wouldn't be to sleep.
I wouldn't be able to breathe.
The mere thought of her not being in my life makes me just want to fucking kick and scream.
I wish it was all a dream.

I wish sometimes that I could prove their love was just one of his little schemes.
He doesn't mean anything good by being with her, he's a villain.
And I'm a fiend.

I long to kiss her.
Hold her.
Touch her.
Feel her.
Taste her.
Maker her happier.
Treat her better than that jackass ever could.

But I'm expected to be the supportive best friend and that's all that's supposed to be to it.
I think I would die if Justine knew the truth.
I think I'd just disappear if she knew.
Because I'm just positive that she feels nowhere near the same.
She's so far up Kevin's ass it's absolutely insane.
I want to stick hot needles in his eyes and twist them until I can feel his blood pressure rise.
Then I'd rip them about, and laugh at his demise.

But then I kick myself for thinking such terrible things.
He's not really a villain.
He means very well by Justine.
She's happier than I've ever seen her.
More content now than ever.
If I tried to take away this sunshine in her life I'd be no better than a hating ass bitch plotting against her.
She's my best friend.
Been that way since grade school.
We fucked around several times, but she meant nothing by it.

I knew she wasn't with it when she told me she was just curious.
But like a dumbass, I just kept pushing it.
In my mind of course.
Never on her.

I've been hiding my feelings for over ten years.
I should have an Oscar by now cause my acting skills are something fierce.
If this whole thing was a movie, my performance would probably move her ass to tears.

Kevin thinks I'm one of his best friends' too.
He has no clue I want to kill him.
He better be lucky he makes my JJ smile.
Cause if he didn't, his ass would be floating face down up a fucking river.

Sadly everyone is happy with the current arrangement.
So I'm forced to be happy too.
But I don't mind suffering this pain.
If it means I get to see her smile everyday too.

My love.
My light.
My best friend.
I'd rather have a special piece of you, than none of you in the end.