Property Of Mistah J | ✓

Chapter 29 | Author

Chapter 29 | Author

"He would come home reeking of alcohol every night." He paused, before looking at me straight in the eye.

"Sometimes it would be mother. Other times it would be me." He said and I tilted my head confused and then it struck me.

"He would beat..." I muttered under my breath, the rest of the words getting struck in my throat as I thought of a small version of him getting beaten up by his own father. But, the most heart-breaking thing was that his mother would get beating too. I understood his anger immediately as rage filled me at the thought of this.

"Mother would never show the pain no matter how painful 'it' was. She would never show it." He paused, letting out a sigh. "She would remain strong for me." He said, looking down at our interwined hands as a slow tear from his eye fell on my hand. His face was wet with sorrowful tears and his eyes were red.

I leaned forward, wiping his tear away with the soft stroke of my thumb and he smiled at me, a weak one, before he looked away. I felt the kind of sadness that seeps into your bones rather than explode in a cascade of tears.

"She would always sing me to sleep because I would have nightmares..." He dragged. "Of him."

"After singing, she would tell me how proud she is of me." He paused. "I would always ask why she said that because I had never done anything to make her proud."

He looked at me, putting his tattooed hand with the smile on my lips, before leaning forward to rest his forehead against mine. "She would say that she is proud of me because I have his smile."

This time I broke down. Tears fell from my eyes and he wiped them away with slow stroke of his thumb and kissed my forehead. My heart ached as I let my hands pull him closely towards me.

He didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve any of it.

"One day, he was too hopelessly drunk and I heard her cries, as I hid in my room, under the bed like I always would." His grip on my hands tightened as he looked away. His eyes once again filled with rage as he held me. "I came out of the room to find my mother dead. He had killed her."

I gasped, another tear rolling down my eye. I tried desperately to stay strong for him but it was too difficult when seeing him so broken, so vulnerable, so soft. The tears flowed unchecked down my cheeks and dripped from my chin. I was too sad to cry out or wail, I just held him more tightly while the magnitude of his loss swept over me.

"Puddin'... I'm so sorry." My voice cracked at the end as I cupped his face, resting my forehead against his as I closed my eyes, more tears pouring out.

"Don't be." He said, wiping them away softly, as a single tear rolled down his left eye. "He died shortly after that."

My eyes widened after that and he grinned deviously, his eyes holding rage and the happiness of revenge. "It was all because of him. He deserved it."

The sentence of his nightmare rang through my ears and I held him closely, our foreheads resting on one another. I am hopelessly in love with a broken man and I have finally come to accept that I cannot fix what is broken inside of him, I can only continue to love him.

"He is the author of who I am."

I also realised that the devil, doesn't come in a red cape with pointy horns. It comes as everything we had every wished for. If a piece of knotted string can unleash the wind, and if a drowned man can awaken... then I believe my broken man can heal. And I would heal him slowly. No matter how hard it is, I will.

"I'm sorry..." He said. "I hid it from you."

"I understand puddin'... you don't have to say sorry."

"I kept it all inside because I would rather have the pain destroy me than you." He said, wiping another tear that rolled down my eye.

"Puddin'..."

"There is nothing left of me. I may look strong but inside I am shattered and broken into a million pieces. Worthless excuse of a hum-"

"Shut up." I said firmly, shutting his mouth effectively as anger filled me.

"You are the most strongest man I have ever seen and you always will be. You show everyone around you how beauty comes from all the brokenness." I said, cupping his cheeks firmly as I looked straight into his eyes, to get this point straight across his skull.

"You are the strongest woman I have ever know Harleen Quinzel." He said my former name and my lips parted as I gave him a weak smile.

"I want to heal all those deep wounds in your heart."

"By all means." He replied, giving me a huge grin as he kissed my nose. A huge sigh of relief flooded through me at the tone of his voice. He was normal now, his usual fun self and I smiled happily, hugging him immediately as I circled my legs around his torso.

"Thank you." I said. "For telling me."

He didn't say anything as he hugged me back tightly. The comfortable silence of the night filling the air as he carried me back to bed and I hugged him, content and happy that I had made a decision to enter the door and not go back to bed.

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This chap is so emotional. Im dying. 😣

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