You are the reason .. (boyxboy)

14. devastated

Aarons POV
I woke up after one of the worst nights ever. I dreamt of mum.. I woke up in the middle of the night crying.. Anf after a while when i finally drifted away again i dreamt Lukas. Great. Just great. I dreamt of two people i loved the most and were gone. I knew what we had with Lukas was over. He clearly wasn't ready to be with me, and just the thought of that made me cry again..
Daniel came and saw me crying. He came to me and hugged me.
"i don't want to go to school today "
"i will talk to my mum.. but you can't avoid him forever "
"i know. I just need some time to get over him.. i just can't see him now"
"you two will have to talk Aaron"
"there's nothing to talk about. He chose his image over me. He will never be willing to come out and i.. i just wanted him not to be ashamed of me "
"look Aaron i know what he did was wrong. But i know him and i know it's not about being ashamed of you. It is about him coming to terms with who he really is. I can make sure he won't bother you now as long as you promise to talk when you feel better?"
"fine.."
I still didn't think i will want to talk to Lukas ever again, but i needed Daniel on my side. He talked to his mum and she agreed i stay home for a few days.

Lukas POV
I think today was the first time i actually waited for Danny to pick me up outside. I needed to see Aaron so bad. I wanted to apologize and ask him to talk to me after school. Maybe he will understand if i'm honest?
But when the car pulled to the house i felt like someone stepped on my heart.
"where is he?"
"good morning to you to "
"Danny where is he?"
"he stayed home. He's not good"
"stop the car then. I wanna go see him"
"no Lukas you can't "
"but i need to see him "
Danny heard my voice breaking. I could hardly breath and i was about to cry.
"Luk you need to give him time..i know it's hard for you to but he thinks you didn't choose him"
"of course i choose him.. I told him i love him two days ago" saying that i felt tears falling.
"look give him time to calm down.He needs it. I will let you know when he is better i promise. But right now i won't let you go to him"

Aarons POV
I called my friends today. My old friends. The ones that know me better then i know myself. They listened and got mad. Lucy even said i should come back home. Home. I thought i found new home here with my aunt and Daniel. And with Lukas. He felt like home to me.
So when we stopped talking i actually started thinking about that idea. I mean dad would have to take me back if i call him.

Lukas POV
I hardly survived tuesday and wednesday and there was a tiny shred of hope still that Aaron will come to school. Of course he didn't. I decided to take Dannys advice although i just couldn't go to sleep last night without sending a text to him wishing him a peaceful night. He read it but there was no reply.

My music teacher caught me between classes to remind me of rehearsal tonight . Friday night was the talent show and i wasn't sure i should even bother. When she saw i'm not really sure about the performance she kindly asked to be there because without me it's simply not the same.
Shit. So that means i need to practice.

Aarons POV
I slept most of the wednesday so today i decided to do some work for school. When i checked mail i saw professor for media wrote about the talent show. I completely forgot i promised to help with recording.
I was trying to come up with an excuse not to be a part of it, but i just couldn't lie. I liked his class and i loved recording so i will just have to pull myself together and go through Lukas performing.
Daniel came to check on me when he came back from school.
"hei how was your day? you feeling any better?"
"i did some work for school. I'm better. i would like to stay home till friday, because i promised to help with recording the show and we have a meeting tomorrow morning.so i have to go to school "
"you ready to talk to Luk?"
"no" i could hear my voice breaking.
"you will have to talk to him you know that. He isn't well. He is in pain like you and he is like a ghost without you at school "
"he should think about that before yelling at me in class"
"i just don't want you two to stay in bad terms. He is my best friend and so are you. I can't be placed between you two "
"maybe you won't have to"
"what was that supposed to mean?"
"i'm thinking of going back home"
Daniels face changed. He was disappointed and sad and i felt terrible.
"i thought this was your home" he said and left me there feeling awful.
Great job Aaron! I definitely know how to make things even worse.
I was thinking how to fix that the whole evening. I even admitted myself i don't want to go back. I loved it here. I loved having a room next to Daniel, aunt Sally reminded me of mum, so i wasn't scare anymore that i will forget her. And Lukas. I just have to find a way to be friends with him again. I know it will take time but he will just have to accept that.
And then i got his good night text again. I soo wanted to write back, but i knew it wouldn't help. But boy did i miss him.