I'm sorry. ;-;
-*-*-*-*-
“Why didn’t you tell me this earlier?” Cry asked still looking away from me.
“I.. I didn’t want you to be heartbroken while my mother was around. I needed you to be strong.” I lowered my head and stared at my fingers. I’m such an idiot.
“Oh! I understand. So you used me, huh?” He suddenly yelled. His eyes full of anger.
“No. It’s not lik—“ he didn’t let me finish.
“No it’s just like that! You just needed someone to protect you so you acted like you liked me.” It hurt. I hurt because it was true… “And I was so blind to believe it…” He stormed out of my room and soon the front door slammed shut.
And then the tears broke out. I didn’t want to cry over him but I was too weak not to.
I just sat in my bed and let the stupid questions to take over my mind. What did I expected to happen? That he’ll be totally okay with that and we would go and play video games together? That’s not how it works, Sarah! Why didn’t I tell him earlier? I was strong enough to get through this on my own. I didn’t need his help. But I was too selfish. I wanted to be sure she didn’t kill me. I didn’t care about Cry. I only cared about myself.
“FUCK!” I yelled slamming my fists on the floor. Oh. I’m on floor now. Right.
I’m so dumb! Why did I ruin my relationship with Cry? Now he’ll hate me. Will he? I don’t want that. I want to be his friend.
All I ever wanted was to live a normal life. To have friends. To not be scared of my mother. Now it’s all like I always wanted but I’m not happy anymore. I don’t fucking deserve this.
-
After few hours of tears and pain I decided it’s time to sleep so I just closed my eyes laying on the floor.
It was a nice and peaceful sleep without nightmares. I don’t think I’ll be getting those anymore. Well I hope so at least.
I woke up from my phone ringing. Who the fuck? I stretched cracking my bones. It’s not really comfortable on floor but what else to do when you’re too lazy to move? The song Demons by Imagine Dragons suddenly stopped reminding me that someone was calling. I stood up and picked up my phone unlocking it to see 3 missed calls from Gabby. I immediately called her back.
“Oh hey!” She picked up sooner than I expected making me jump a little.
“Hi! Sorry I was sleeping.” I apologized.
“Its 4PM why were you sleeping?!” What?
“Um.. I… I stayed up late making videos.” I made up some excuse not wanting her to be involved in all the crap I went through yesterday.
“Oh. I see.” She giggled and I heard her taking a deep breath. “I called to ask if you wanted to go out tonight. I suppose you have read Hunger Games, yes?” As she asked I started to jump around like a 5year-old.
“Uhu! Is the new movie out?!” I was still dancing.
“Yes. Wanna go see it?” She laughed.
“Yes, yes, yes!” I squealed forgetting about all bad things that have happened.
“Ok! See you at 11 at the cinema?” Gabby asked and I could hear a smile in her voice.
“Yessss! See you then!” I giggled last time and hung up. This is going to be a good day. Well.. What’s left of it.
-*-*-*-*-
Heyooo!
Why is it that always when I'm sick I'm in a really good mood even if my head is killing me and I feel like shit?
It's really weird. :D
Ā! Arta atnes manas pērlītes rīt!! >;3 /Don't mind this./
I'm thinking of posting another chapter today. What do you guys think? ;p
Bwaiiiii for now! ily <3
-Cathy
