Slight Pressure

14. Yes Aura No

written by alessandra

By the time Louis gets the drunk Batman out of his apartment, the poor lad is so riddled with grief he can barely walk on his own. With Zayn's help the two of them eventually get Liam's dead weight settled onto the curb and decide to celebrate the victory with a fat spliff.

Louis had forgotten how much he's missed having Zayn around. Louis and Zayn had been roommates for a year before Harry arrived and Zayn got booted from the program. He will never admit that he was kicked out. Zayn, the stubborn ass, prefers to say it was a mutual disagreement. Either way, he seems much happier now as an art major a few states over, even if it means they rarely get to see each other anymore.

Louis didn't expect that Zayn's impromptu visit at their Halloween party would cause such a ruckus, of course he also didn't expect him to bring along Liam-fucking-Payne of all people. Louis didn't even think to warn him about the Liam-Riley-Harry thing going on at all. Louis much prefers to stay the hell away from shit like this if he can help it. He loves girls and he loves his friends, but he doesn't need them to blend together in any way. The idea of girlfriends and relationships make him squirmy, like a cat who's been held for too long. No, maybe not a cat. Louis hates cats too.

Liam groans from the sidewalk with his head between his knees. The top half of his beefy Batman costume has been peeled off so it hangs down from his bare hips like a deflated life preserver.

"It's not so bad, mate. You tried. At least you were smiling," Zayn offers as he lights up the joint.

"Riley wasn't smiling. She didn't smile once." Liam laments as he runs his fingers regrettably through his hair. "She was with that fucking vampire shithead."

"Hey, hey! That fucking vampire shithead is my best mate so watch your mouth, Bruce Whine."

"Hey hey hey!" Zayn cuts in, choking on an inhale of smoke. "I thought I was your best mate?"

"Have you seen me? I am massive," Louis responds and Zayn nearly chokes again. "Okay, maybe not in my physical size but you should know by now that my spiritual girth is astounding. I have the emotional capacity for several best mates so don't be greedy." He slaps Zayn on the back until he can breathe normally again.

Liam moans sadly from the ground and Louis, suddenly feeling a newfound swell of wisdom in his gut after his first puff, crouches down beside him. "Mate. Liam. Look at me, boy." Liam does as he's told, with his eyes all glassy and forlorn like a lost pup. "Even though you made a complete arse of yourself at my party in front of my friends, I'm gonna offer you a valuable piece of advice. Be a good man and apologize to her. You know you're all clean, we got you those results for you last week, yeah? So you know it wasn't as bad as it could have been. You fucked up. We all fuck up! But you're gonna make it right and let the lady be happy now. Shake hands, bury the damn hatchet, and stop trying to do weird shit to impress her."

Zayn scoffs. "Have you ever had to apologize to a woman before, Louis? To anyone?"

"What do I have to apologize for? Apologies mean I would have to care enough in the first place and that's against my personal philosophy. I mean, look at this shit here!" He ruffles Liam's hair roughly. "You think I want to be like this? A half-naked Batman crying on my fucking lawn."

"I'm not crying! I just miss her."

"Sure, sure. I miss Zayn, but you don't see me trying to slobber all over him with my Bat-balls out on full display. Plus, that suit will make you sterile, Payno. Take a page from the Louis Tomlinson Handbook of Testicular Health and only wear roomy joggers from now on, okay?"