Through my eyes, the world is a painting and we, ourselves, hold the paintbrush to our own destiny. We draw what we want in life and to us; perfection is what we stride for.
When I was younger, I would sit in the leaves and watch them as they danced and put on marvelous shows for me to watch. I would laugh and giggle at everything and they seemed to laugh with me. Being in nature made me forget, forget all the harm in my life and being outside in the open air was a stress reliever. In an isolated part of my own painting is where I could always be myself. Nature would comfort me and lifted my spirit a bit. It was always, always there for me.
That was a long time ago when nature actually lived. The environment is now going extinct and I feel like I’m losing part of myself. It was twenty years ago when I last saw the earth beautifully, now it’s just a lame excuse for life. It gets on my nerves that we have lost all our power. The world is now a dictatorship led by our so called “leader”, Thaddeus Pierce.
The “government” has created new equipment that allows Thaddeus to use trees for their life. He destroys nature in order to renew his youth, to stay young. He wants what we can’t have: to live forever, to be the continuous ruler of our Armageddon. This new equipment is locked away in a place where the creators don’t even know. Thaddeus does dreadful things and thinks of no one but himself. All I want is my childhood back, the memories my mind once held. The beauty of the Earth, my one, true love.
I went out for a walk today…BAD idea. There is grime and garbage everywhere. I just feel like throwing myself on the ground and crying. The beautiful earth, a place that I used to call home, is dying right in front of me, and I can’t help but to think that it is my fault. Walking through the woods is no longer a joy to me, but instead a punishment. There could have been something to stop it. There HAD to be something, but at the time my mind had just gone blank. I sprinted back home crying as I thought about the horrors I have to live with.
It was about time for dinner to be eaten, 6:00. Thaddeus has given us schedules of when specific things are supposed to happen. I read our daily life that is pinned to the wall:
7:00 A.M. - Wake Up
8:00 A.M. – Breakfast
8:30 A.M. – School Starts
8:30 A.M. - 12:30 P.M. - Learning
12:30- 1:00 P.M. - Lunch
1:00 P.M. - Continue Learning
3:30 P.M. - School Ends
4:00 P.M. - Living Vessel
4:00- 6:00 P.M. - Free Time
6:00 P.M. - Dinner
8:00 P.M. - Bed
The process repeats itself every day and it’s always the same. I feel as if I don’t get to control my own life, and that’s all I want, is to be ME. I’m trapped in a world with no creativity and I can’t find the way out of it. It’s a mess that we have made that may not ever be repaired.
