Forwards // Book Two

Chapter 6.

Rain continues gliding slowly against the crystal glass of the windshield, the street lights above flickering through the small drops of water. The air in the car is cold, goosebumps forming over my dry skin. I look over to Lucy who has her chunky white sweater covering up her small arms. She glances over at me, rolling her eyes as she looks away from me.

She's probably thinking that I hate Gracie. If that is in fact what she's thinking, it's not true. I love Gracie. I love Gracie with every fiber inside me. She's all that I have now. Therefore, all of my love and energy has been directed strictly towards her.

I'm just not sure how to fall in love with her. Sure, I love her. I would do anything for her. Yet somehow, apart of me still holds a certain amount of resentment towards her. A resentment that is completely unfair. I shouldn't blame Gracie. It's not her fault that she was born. It's not her fault that Charlie died? If I know that, then why can't I accept it?

I glance up at the sign of the restaurant, quickly pulling over to the curb. I sigh quickly and look back over at Lucy. She probably doesn't even want to have dinner with me. I would understand if she doesn't. Tonight was supposed to be her having fun, getting out of the house. Instead, it's turned into some kind of emotional nightmare for her.

I go to open my door when Lucy begins to open hers.

"No! Wait..." I say, quickly jumping out of the car.

"What?" She asks as I shut my door.

I quickly run over to her side of the car and open the door for her, smiling weakly. She stares at me curiously, huffing as she steps out of the car. I continue smiling, even if it's only a mask. I shut the door behind her and walk behind her towards the entrance of the restaurant. An employee of the restaurant opens the door as we enter, taking our coats.

"Thank you..." Lucy smiles, nodding her head towards the man.

"Mr. Styles? Right this way..." The hostess says, pointing towards a small table with two chairs in the corner of the quiet room.

"Thank you..." I say, lightly leading Lucy towards the table.

"What can we start you both with?" The hostess asks, pulling a small notebook out of his pocket.

"Water please..." Lucy whispers, smiling up at him.

"And for you Mr. Styles?" He asks, writing on his notebook.

"I'll take the same, thanks..." I whisper, glancing over the menu.

"Alright. I'll be right back..." The hostess says, walking away from our table.

"The steak here is really good..." I whisper, smiling over at Harry.

"Oh, stop playing Harry..." Lucy groans, shaking her head.

"Playing? What are you talking about?" I ask, leaning my head towards her.

"You don't want to be here. I'm sure you would much rather be partying with your friends..." She whispers, flipping the menu over on one side.

"That's not true..." I whisper, shaking my head.

"Harry, I've never seen you act this way before. Some days you're perfectly fine and help with Gracie and other days we don't see you, you stay up in your room or go out. I don't know what to think anymore..." She whispers, staring across at me.

"It's just...it's been hard okay?" I whisper, shrugging my shoulders.

"Trust me, I know. It's been hard on all of us..." She shrugs.

"I know, I just...I'm trying. Okay?" I shrug again.

"We're all trying Harry..." She whispers, glancing back down at the menu.