Forwards // Book Two

Chapter 21.

Tears stream down my face as I hold Gracie one last time. I feel her warm skin move against mine as she bounces in my arms. She coos gently as she places both of her tiny hands on my face. Her tiny hands are quickly dampened by my salty tears. I laugh quietly as she forms her tiny lips into an "o" and opens her eyes as wide as possible.

This has been one of the hardest moments of my life and I've definitely had my fill of those in the past few months. I hate having to do this. I hate having to leave her behind but Lucy was right in her argument. What's best for Gracie is the most important thing in my life and her being on the road at only three months old is definitely not a good idea.

Instead, she'll be staying behind with Lucy, Daniel and the rest of the family. Luckily, Charlie's parents are on their flight back to London to help Lucy. I convinced Lucy to stay at my house to make Gracie more comfortable. She's gotten use to sleeping in her crib in the room that Charlie designed and I don't want that to be taken away from her. I don't even want to take a piece of Charlie away from her.

I smile down at her as much as it hurts. She's dressed in her favorite outfit and carefully clutches on to the white elephant that Charlie bought for her before she was born. It's her favorite plush toy and her best friend. She talks more to the elephant than to me. I understand that. I'm her dad. She doesn't want to talk to me. I can only imagine what she'll be like as a teenager.

"I love you more than anything in this world..." I whisper, placing another gentle kiss on her forehead.

It's about the millionth time that I've kissed her today. Actually, probably the millionth time that I've kissed her just in the last hour. I dread the thought of it ever being our last moment together before I leave. I won't be back again until next month and the thought kills me. I won't fully be back home again until next fall. She'll nearly be one year old. That's a crazy thought.

"Are you almost ready to go mate?" Niall asks, checking his phone for the time.

"Yeah..." I whisper, nodding my head.

"We need to leave buddy..." Niall whispers, nodding his head.

"Alright." I whisper, placing another kiss on Gracie's head and placing a gentle kiss on her forehead once more.

"Are you going to be okay sweetie?" My mum asks, wiping away a tear from my cheek.

"Yeah, I'll be fine..." I lie.

"Alright. Ready to come see grandmum Gracie?" She asks, smiling over at Gracie.

"Here you go..." I whisper, handing her over.

"I'll be back as soon as he's dropped off Anne..." Lucy says, heading outside with Niall.

"You be really good for your grandmum and Aunt Lucy okay Gracie?" I say, gently squeezing Gracie's hand.

"She will be. You've raised her right..." Mum smiles, a single tear going down her cheek.

"Aw mum, don't cry..." I whisper, giving her one last hug.

"I cry everytime you leave..." She laughs, wiping away the tear.

"I know. That's what makes leaving so hard..." I cry, squeezing her gently.

"Get out of here, before it's too late..." My mom laughs, patting my back.

"I'm going." I laugh, kissing her cheek.

"One last kiss for your little girl?" She asks, leaning Gracie up towards me.

"Of course..." I whisper, planting one final kiss on Gracie's cheek.