Forwards // Book Two

Chapter 8.

All of the lights of the house are switched off, leaving the house completely dark. I quietly enter the house, careful not to awake anyone. I pull my cell phone out of my pocket and check the time. It's nearly midnight now. It's been a really long night.

My chest still feels sore from the breaking of my heart not too long ago. I'm sure that my face is red as a tomato too. My face always flares when my emotions do. That's why I rarely ever cry in front of anyone. It's embarrassing.

I slide my jacket off of my arms and throw it over the back of the couch as I make my way into the sitting room. Rain has begun to fall outside again. I cross my arms and walk towards the back of the house, staring out into the pitch black garden. Instead of seeing the garden, all I see is my own reflection staring back at me.

I look terrible. My face is red (as imagined), my eyes are puffy and my cheeks are streaked with tear stains. I look miserable. Although, I guess that my look represents how I truly feel. I groan out loud and bury my head in my hands.

As I close my eyes, they sting with exhaustion. I need sleep. Real sleep. I can't even remember the last time that I had a good night's rest. It was well before Charlie died. Even before she died, I wasn't sleeping well. I never told her that though.

I was afraid of scaring her. She had enough on her plate than to be dealing with my insomnia. At night when she was fast asleep, I would stay up worrying. I've always been the calm one, well, at least before all of this. Before her death, before the baby, before everything.

I'm just not the same person anymore. I feel darker now. I feel gone.

"Harry?" A small voice whispers in the darkness.

I slowly open my eyes and turn my attention to the reflection in the window. It's Lucy. She's standing behind me in a short white robe, her hands firmly placed across her chest. She's smiling weakly. Why is she smiling? I imagined that she would hate me right now.

"Lucy, you're still up..." I whisper, turning around.

"Of course I'm still up. I was waiting for you..." She whispers, walking closer to me.

"Why were you waiting for me?" I ask, shaking my head in confusion.

"I was waiting to give you what you want..." She whispers seductively in my ear.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I ask, pulling away from her.

"Oh come on Harry, you know you wanna..." She whispers, slowly pulling on the strings of her robe.

"Lucy..." I laugh, shaking my head.

"What? Am I being too agressive?" She laughs, clutching on to my neck.

"Uh, um, I'm just surprised is all..." I whisper, shaking my head.

"Surprised by what? My attraction to you?" She whispers, gliding her lips against the bottom of my my chin.

"Uh, yeah..." I nod, closing my eyes.

"Why? You're Harry Styles. Every girl wants you..." She whispers, kissing my neck quickly.

"Lucy..." I whisper, grabbing on to her waist.

"Come on Harry...please?" She begs, pouting out her lips.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" I laugh, shaking my head.

"This isn't a joke Harry..." She spats, pushing away from me.

"Well, what the hell is going on? I'm a little confused..." I whisper, shaking my head again.

"You're confused? Really? It's not like you've never had sex before..." She laughs, crossing her arms again.