Forwards // Book Two

Chapter 1.

"Today the One Direction tour was officially canceled after band member Harry Styles' wife Charlie passed away weeks ago while giving birth to the couple's first child..."

"Turn it off..." I groan, walking into the bright living room.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know that they would talk about it..." Lucy whispers, clicking off the television.

The house is quiet. Gracie is quietly laying in my arms, her bright green eyes watching the world above her. I slowly move into the kitchen, careful not to bounce too much with Gracie. I open the refrigerator door with one free hand and remove the jug of orange juice. I then search for the fresh water so that I can make Gracie a bottle.

"Oh, I already made her one..." Lucy says, pointing to the small clear bottle in the center of the counter.

"Oh, thanks..." I mutter, shutting the door to the refrigerator.

I take the warm bottle in my hand and shake it gently. Gracie opens her eyes widely, eager to fill her small stomach with the warm liquid. It's amazing how she's already catching onto things. I slowly glide the nipple of the bottle into her mouth and watch as she chugs the formula. I chuckle lightly and continue on to pour myself a glass of orange juice.

"Did you sleep at all?" Lucy asks, shrugging her shoulders.

"Not really but I'm fine..." I shrug, taking a sip of the tangy juice.

"So..." Lucy whispers, placing her head in her hands.

"So..." I whisper, looking down at Gracie.

"Harry, what the hell are we supposed to do now?" She asks, her hazel eyes peering up at me.

"I really don't know Lucy..." I whisper, shaking my head.

"She was so excited to-" She begins.

"Please don't talk about her..." I whisper, clutching my eyes shut.

"Harry..." She whispers, placing her warm hand on mine.

"I just don't want to talk about her okay!?" I shout, quickly pulling my hand away from hers.

My sudden outburst frightens both Lucy and Gracie. I realize that I've made a mistake as soon as Gracie begins wailing in my arms. I take a deep breath and stare back at Lucy who looks saddened. Of course she looks saddened. She lost her sister and now her sister's husband is being an absolute dick. I don't mean to be, I'm just carrying so much weight on my shoulders now.

"I'm going to go calm her down..." I whisper, bouncing Gracie slightly in my arms.

"Fine..." She shrugs, nodding.

I sigh loudly, exiting the kitchen. I can't believe that this is what my life has become. Bouncing a crying baby in my arms while having a small arguement with my wife's sister. Well, my dead wife's sister. Just thinking about her for a second breaks my heart all over again. 

I remember everything. Every second before and every second after. It's funny how after someone is gone, you suddenly remember every little thing. Even the things that you don't want to remember. However, just to remember the good moments, you're willing to remember the bad moments. 

I remember everytime she ever smiled at me. I remember everytime she touched me. I remember every fight that we had. I remember the last three years of my life better than any time in my life. She's all that I need to remember. I'm afraid though. I'm afraid that I'll forget her.

I'm afraid that I'll forget the sound of her voice or the way that she smelled. To make sure that I don't, I replay her voicemails over and over again. Lucy says that it's not healthy but I don't care. I just need to hear her voice. Every morning when I go into the bathroom, I see her perfume lying on the counter and I can't stop myself from spraying a single spritz everytime. It's like she's here with me again for a few seconds.

I walk into Gracie's room with her bouncing in my arms. She's stopped crying now but her normally subtle pink cheeks are blazing red. I gently wipe the tears from her cheeks with a receiving blanket and throw the blanket over my shoulder. Placing Gracie against the blanket while roaming around her room.

Lucy and Charlie did all of this. They chose the paint, the furniture and all of the stuffed animals in this room. The only thing that I did was buy Gracie her pink elephant while Charlie bought her the same exact one, only in white. The white elephant sleeps next to Gracie every single night while I pulled my pink elephant out.

I didn't think that it was fair to leave them both in her crib. Somehow I feel like that white elephant represents Charlie and the only time that she gets to watch over Gracie is while Gracie is fast asleep. Maybe that's weird but I really don't care. I don't care about a lot of the things that I used to. In the last few weeks, my priorities have drastically changed.

I sit with Gracie in the rocking chair, rocking slightly. I have my hand placed gently on her back while she looks around over my shoulder. She's very alert for only being a few weeks old. I still can't believe it's already been a few weeks since everything has happened. Time has surprisingly flown by. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing.

I close my eyes for a second and I'm there again. In the bright hallway sitting next to Lucy. Waiting. I waited so long to get some good news and all that I received was bad news. I remember everything perfectly, not that I want to.

"Mr. Styles?" The doctor said, approaching my chair.

"Yes?" I asked, rising quickly from my chair.

"We have some news..." She said, noddling slowly.

"Okay? How is she? Is she okay? What happened?" I asked, my mind racing with questions.

"Mr. Styles, unfortunately we lost Charlie..." She whispered, taking a deep breath with her words.

"What do you mean lost her? Where did she go?" I asked, attempting to avoid the truth.

"Mr. Styles, we believe that Charlie suffered a ruptured brain aneurysm during Gracie's birth..." She whispered, nodding slowly.

"Brain aneurysm? No. Charlie, Charlie is young and healthy. She's fine, she just probably has a headache or something..." I whispered, shaking my head.

"Mr. Styles, I'm so sorry but we weren't able to save her. Charlie is dead..." She whispered.

That's when I let it sink in. Charlie wasn't missing and Charlie didn't have a headache. She was really gone. When I first realized that Charlie was gone, I was numb. I didn't cry. I didn't scream. I didn't do anything. I just stood there.

I just stood there as my whole world collapsed before my eyes.

Alright, that's the first chapter folks! I'm really excited about this story! I've been wanting to write a "single father Harry" fanfic for a long time and it's finally here! I hope that you all really liked this chapter! I know it's kind of slow but I promise it will pick up soon! If you like this chapter, please vote and comment! Maybe even share the story with your friends! I love you all so much!

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