Carl Grimes Imagines

Please II

I was frail and weak. Although now I was at the Hilltop, after being saved by Jesus, the effects of my time at the Sanctuary were obvious. My body was unhealthy and underfed, and deep shades of purple and blue cascaded under my eyes from exhaustion and fear. My eyes drooped from unhappiness, and feeling emotionally drained. My entire body had been consumed by fear in the Sanctuary, I didn't know if I would survive each day. I still didn't feel safe at the Hilltop, I didn't know if I could feel safe anywhere anymore. I had been ripped from everyone I loved, and Negan had broken me. Nightmares of being there still plagued my mind every time I closed my eyes, resulting in restlessness and frustration. All I wanted was to be back with Carl again. It's all I wanted since the last time I saw him. He didn't know if I was dead or alive. I needed him immediately, knowing that he could help subside the emotional pain I was feeling.

I sat quiet at the table opposite Daryl, whilst Sasha and Enid spoke quietly together. Daryl was the only person who understood what I had been through, because I was sure he experienced worse than I had. We hadn't addressed the situation between us, as we didn't know the full extent of what happened to the other.

We heard Maggie yelling for Sasha and Enid, both excusing themselves to find out what's going on. I decided to use this time to ask Daryl what I'd been thinking about, and also over thinking.

"Do we have to talk about it?" My voice was shaky, and I hoped his answer was the one I wanted to hear. I was especially concerned about when I'd see Carl again. I knew he'd have questions that he'd want answers to, but I was unsure if I could provide them. Talking about being there was like reliving it, and I never wanted that to happen. I wanted it erased from my mind, like it never happened.

"You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to." Daryl's voice was low, but also assuring to me. I nodded in response as he rose to his feet, assuming to see what Maggie wanted. I followed curiously, not really wanting to be alone if I could help it.

What I saw didn't seem real. I didn't expect to see it anytime soon. Stood before us, was Rick, Michonne, Rosita, Tara and Carl. A strong feeling of love rushed to me as I approached them, Rick immediately embracing Daryl. My feet carried me to Carl, and he slammed his body to mine in a bone crushing hug. He held my delicate frame tightly, burying his head deep into my shoulder. He just held me for a while, which is what both of us needed.

"Are you okay?" He spoke after he pulled away, noticing the tiredness in my eyes and my body which was substantially thinner and smaller since the last time he saw me.

"I am now." I half smiled, enveloping him in another hug before reuniting with everyone else. This was the happiest everyone had been in a long time, and it was refreshing to see smiles on everyone's faces. We spent the whole night together, talking and discussing the plan. We were going to fight. For Abraham and for Glenn.

Carl flopped on the bed I'd been sleeping in as I shut the door behind us. This was the first time we'd truly been alone in so long, and I was just excited to sleep with his body next to mine again.

"Y/N?"

"Yeah?" I questioned, already knowing what was coming next.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I knew he'd want to know, but it was too hard. It was something I never wanted to speak about again, something I would avoid for the rest of my life.

"No." I shook my head, hoping that's all I would have to say, and to my relief, it was.

"Okay. But if you do, you know you can come to me. About anything." I nodded my head, his words giving me that safe feeling that I'd been missing. I continued to get ready to go to sleep, turning away from Carl and pulling my shirt over my head absentmindedly.

"Y/N..." Carl's voice confused me as I turned around to face him, understanding what he was talking about only seconds later. Brown and purple bruises scattered my back and continued over my chest. My ribs protruded against my skin, making me look unhealthier than I was. Carl approached me I reach out to touch me, but I shrunk away, an instinct I still had from being there.

"It's okay. You know I won't hurt you." Carl's face portrayed a soft expression, as he continued to graze over the bruises that covered my body, and down across my stomach, looking at me with empathy.

"I'm okay." I choked out, although I didn't sound convincing and I definitely didn't look okay.

"You don't have to be okay for a while. We're here now, and you know it's never going to happen again, right? Whatever they did to you."

"I know." I nodded my head, looking at the baby blue eye which was analysing my expression.

"You don't have to be scared anymore." He wrapped his arms around me, and I nuzzled my head into his chest. I never realised how well Carl could read me. Since they arrived, I'd not felt the way I'd been feeling before, but when Carl mentioned it I couldn't hide my feelings. He knew me too well, which meant we could talk about it without even having to say the words. He knew exactly what I needed to hear.

"I love you." I mumbled, completely at ease with Carl's arms secured around me.

"I love you too. Now come on, it's been way too long since we cuddled. And I've missed it way too much." Carl laughed, resuming his position on the bed and waiting for me to continue changing. I practically jumped into the bed next to him, snuggling my way into his arms once again.

"When he took you, I realised what my life was like without you. I couldn't concentrate on anything, all I did was worry about you. I hated myself for letting you come with us, for giving him the opportunity to hurt you. The worst part was not knowing what he was doing to you. It broke my heart when I saw you that day in Alexandria. I couldn't stand looking at how broken you were." Carl admitted, staring at the ceiling as I watched him closely. Now it was my turn to try and pick up the pieces.

"I'm here now. And I'm not leaving you again. So you're stuck with me." I giggled light heartedly, watching his expression change into a wide smile.

"I'm okay with that. I wanna be stuck with you forever." He grinned back, looking at me lovingly.

"I'm sure that can be arranged." I smiled, pecking him on the cheek, and then his lips, which turned into a passionate kiss. His lips on mine felt so familiar, making me feel at home. I pulled away after a few minutes, and he placed a final kiss on my nose.

"We should sleep. You look tired." He said, stroking my hair which was extremely relaxing.

"So do you. Night cowboy." I smirked at the nickname I added, knowing it would tease Carl. He rolled his eyes playfully at me, before laughing at my devilish smirk.

"Night baby."

That night I slept peacefully, clinging to Carl the whole time. There was no nightmares or terror. Just love. A lot of love.