Flaws

Growing up?

Now I'm just here, 13, middle school fucking sucks. I don't know I'm just talking to myself. "Ohh, music to my ears, why do I like listening to this sad shit.", I never understand why. 

Music truly is my life sometimes, music that actually relates to you, ironic as it is, or just the concept of it.

"Maybe I should be a song writer?",  

I could write my dumb emotions on paper, share it, maybe then people will know that not just physical pain hurts, but mental ones too.

My boyfriend, he's ignoring me. I don't know what I did wrong. He's upset that I talk to that one guy in class. Oh that's right, he doesn't like that I talk to guys more than I do with girls. "Ughhhh, why am I the only girl born in this family!", not my fault that I have brothers, only grew up with dick jokes, and video games for a living.

This is the second guy, I liked who's going to leave me for this. It's not like I crush on them or dated them. Daddy issues? That's what the girls in school talk about when it comes to me. I mean maybe, but I'm not seeking for that type of attention from multiple number of guys.

Doesn't matter if I do defend myself or not, everyone will always have their opinions and just entitled to them regardless, right or wrong just can't win them.

Why do I even bother going on this dumb site, everyone post statuses to complain!, "Huh?",

"Ohh..", why does he do this to me?

He's talking to other girls again, stop tearing up Alesana, he always does this on purpose. Why do the jealous guys fall for me, why do I fall for them. Cold and distant, the ones with problems the ones I want to save from this shit.

The last time we 'fought', he completely neglect my tears, and rejected my hand away from his. He pushed me when I tried to stand up for myself. What did he do, flirted with another girl in front of me.

I do something, say something, but he just neglects me...

When I did it back, he pulls me away, and pushes me against a wall, yells at me. Oh boy, how things turned out that week. I just give in, and give in, to make him happy, because he made me happy. 

It's a year with him, constant jealously back and forth. When he hit me for the first time, he holds me and told me he loves me, and I believed him. 

I really did put myself in a abusive relationship.

But at least I have my best friend. He always there for me, he really is something. I thank him, "Thanks James."