Carry On

Chapter 8

  "So, Hermione, how have you and Ron been doing?" I heard Dean ask across from me at the Gryffindor table. We were currently in the Great Hall, waiting for the professors to finish their first meal so they could lead the (slightly overly) excited students to Hogsmead.
  "Quite alright, Dean." She responded earnestly. I was slightly surprised, I thought she wanted to break things off soon? Perhaps they were able to get past it, as they always had before? They had been through so much together, and, as Hermione had said, they did deserve to be happy. I was quickly brought out of my musings when I saw everyone's expectant looks.
  "I'm sorry, what did you say?" I asked, embarrassed that I was caught when my mind had drifted.
  "It's alright, Harry. I asked if you were going to Hogsmead?" Neville repeated. I quickly thought it over. I hadn't been there in so long, and they clearly wanted me to go with them, but something was holding me back. It was almost as if I was afraid that if I stepped in Hogsmead another caterwauling charm would go off.
  "I suppose. I haven't been there in ages." I finally decided. Neville and Hermione seemed particularly happy at my response. Suddenly, there was the sound of thousands of wings flapping, indicating the arrival of the morning owls. I tried not to look up at the creatures, thinking of Hedwig, one of my first friends. So I was very surprised when a large, black owl dropped a letter in front of me, barely avoiding my near empty plate. I glanced at the owl as it quickly flew away, confused as to who it belonged to. That question was quickly answered when I glanced down at the parchment, more specifically, at the return address. "I'll see you guys later." I said quickly, grabbing the letter and heading out of the Great Hall, ignoring the confused looks of my friends.
  I walked over to the edge of the Black Lake, quickly finding my favorite tree to sit against. The ground surrounding it was relatively soft, and it had an amazing view of the lake. I situated myself underneath its shade, and ripped open the letter, my eyes scanning the page. It read:
  Dear Harry,
I hope you find yourself well, I know you were having difficulties before you left. I do hope that has changed.
Teddy is doing well, he has a bit better of a control over his ability than when you last saw him. Teddy has said his first word! It happened a few days after you left, and it was 'hawwie.' He truly does miss you. I hope you can visit soon, it can be rather hard trying to raise him alone. Perhaps during the holidays? Owl me an answer when you find you are able.
  With care, Andromeda.
  At the mention of Teddy's first word, I felt my eyes begin to sting. The first word that he chosen to say was my name, or at least, to the best of his ability as a toddler. I honestly couldn't be any prouder. But that pride and happiness was soon replaced with remorse at why Andromeda was forced to take on a young toddler. I brought my knees to my chest, resting my head on them.
  Normally, I wouldn't be in such a position in public for fear of being found, but it was relatively secluded in this area, and I found I could always relax here. That's another reason why I liked this place, and would often come here to think. I brought my head up slightly, looking at the ground beside my legs. My attention was quickly brought to something that seemed to glitter in the early morning sunlight. I brought my hand down to grab it, discovering it to be a moonstone. Upon further examination I found one side to be completely smooth, not a single scratch marring the surface. On the other side, though, it was jagged and sharp. My mind immediately went to the marks covering my body, all barely healed from my scratching. I pocketed the moonstone, getting up. I didn't want my friends to worry and come looking for me.

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  We quickly boarded the carriages to Hogsmead. I had stayed rather quiet since meeting up with my friends in front of the castle. I saw Hermione's worried glances, and Neville's one of sympathy. I simply shrugged, meeting their eyes. I still felt the weight of the stone in my robe pocket, feeling as though it was the it was the only thing keeping me grounded, keeping me from drifting away.
  When we got off the carriages, our group of four soon turned to two groups. Neville and Dean went in the direction of Honeydukes and the Quiddich supply store, while Hermione and I went to the Three Broomsticks. Upon walking in, we were greeted by Rosemerta, and she led us to our table. We ordered four butterbeers in anticipation for our other two friends.
  "Are you really alright, Harry?" Hermione asked, concern showing plainly on her face. I sighed, I knew she would ask that. She had been constantly since I explained myself during our first week back.
  "I'm fine Hermione, really." I added at her disbelieving glance. "What about you and Ron? Did you patch things up?" I asked, once again changing the subject. She raised her eyebrows, but responded.
  "Yes, we did. I think we were both being a bit dramatic. It's just difficult, with me being at Hogwarts, and him at the Burrow." She said, sadness creeping onto her features. She shook her head, as if shaking those thoughts away. "Are you going to go back for the holidays?" She asked.
  "I don't know. It's just a bit awkward, with Ginny being there and all..." I trailed off, not wanting to finish my sentence. I wasn't lying, Ginny was part of the reason, but truly it was because I couldn't look at George. I couldn't see the pain on his face. "Andromeda wants me to come over to her place to see Teddy." I said offhandedly. I didn't expect her to really care about that.
  "Really? I haven't seen him in ages!" She exclaimed. "How is he?" She asked.
  "He's alright. She says he misses me. He said his first word. It was 'Hawwie.'" I say proudly. Hermione smiles broadly at that.
  "Are you going to?" She asks, a strange look on her face.
  "I don't know. I was thinking about staying here at Hogwarts during the holidays. What about you? Are you going back to the Burrow?" I respond.
  "Yes, though I'll be going to see my parents first." She said, smiling impossibly wider. I still remember how happy she was when she found her parents in Australia, and was able to restore their memories. At first, they were upset that she had used magic to take away the memories of their only daughter, but quickly understood why she did it after a hasty explanation.
  "Have you introduced Ron to your parents yet?" I asked, an eyebrow raised. Ron had briefly met them before, but that was before he and Hermione had become official.
  "Harry!" She exclaimed, blushing profusely. I couldn't help but laugh. Apparently she hadn't.
  We both sat there in comfortable silence. It was strange, I hadn't felt this grounded or...calm...since the start of the year, or at least, since Neville and I spoke. I barely even noticed the obvious whisperings that surrounded me. I looked up and saw our other two friends walk in. I waved them over, gesturing for them to sit down.
  "How did things go for you two?" I asked, curious why they didn't have any bags or items with them.
  "Not very well. Honeydukes is closed until further notice. Apparently it suffered some damage during the war, and it's taking awhile to fix." Dean responded. I stiffened slightly, though it didn't go unnoticed by my other two friends. I took a long drink from my butterbeer, hoping it would distract me from the way the room seemed to be closing in. I saw Dean's lips move, saying something, but didn't process the words. The walls were closing in, people were staring. I barely felt Hermione shake me, trying to get my attention. I suddenly thought of the technique Draco had taught me. I quickly tried to employ it. 1...2...3...4...5... I took a deep breath. 5...4...3...2...1... People seemed to stop staring. 1...2...3...4...5... The walls stopped pressing in on me.
  I looked up and saw the concerned faces of my friends. I tried to ease their minds with a forced smile, though it probably came out as a grimace.
  "Did I say something wrong?" I heard Dean ask, remorse clear in his voice. I shook my head quickly, trying to ease his guilt.
  "No, you didn't do anything. I just...wasn't expecting that. I'm fine." I said, trying to stop any concern they may have felt. I tried to smile again, hoping that it seemed genuine. It seemed that they believed me, to some extent at least, because they dropped it. I subconsciously put my hand in my pocket and touched the moonstone there, seeming to draw a kind of power from it.
  After we finished at the Three Broomsticks, we all decided to head back to Hogwarts, as we were all rather tired. I was now sitting in the eighth year common room desperately trying to study for a charms test on Monday. I felt the cushion beside me dip, indicating someone sitting next to me. I looked over and was surprised to see Hermione next to me. I told her I was studying earlier, and she had immediately left me alone.
  "Harry, have you owled Ron recently?" She asked, looking down at her hands, seemingly nervous. I glanced at her, confused.
  "No, I haven't. Why?" I set down my charms book, giving her my full attention.
  "Don't you think you should? It has been awhile since you did. He's worried, about you, and your friendship." I sighed. I didn't mean to worry my best mate, but I just found it difficult to talk to him; even through owls. I'll admit, I have been avoiding him, selfishly, at that. Whenever I talk to him, or read one of his letters, I'm reminded of what I did to his family.
  "I know, Hermione. I'll owl him later, okay? For now, I think I'll head to bed." I said, gathering my things.
  "Harry, it's only 7:45!" She exclaimed, but I was already halfway up the stairs.
  I entered my bedroom and set my textbooks on my desk, vowing to put them away properly later. I quickly pulled out a piece of parchment and quill and began to write a quick letter to Ron. It only includes menial things; how I was, asking how he was, and answering any questions he may have asked in his most recent owl. I put it in an envelope, and set it on top of my pile of schoolbooks, reminding myself to send it in the morning.
  I walked to the bathroom, intending to shower before I slept. I wasn't lying when I told Hermione I was tired. I shed my robes quickly, stopping when I heard something fall to the floor. I glanced down and saw the moonstone I had found by the lake lying on the tiles. I leaned over and picked it up, setting it on the counter.
  After a quick shower, I finished my nightly routine of getting dressed and brushing my teeth. Before leaving the bathroom I grabbed the stone and set it in my trunk, where I used to keep my blade. I then proceeded to ungracefully sprawl onto my bed, falling into a deep sleep littered with nightmares. Though, that wasn't unusual.