Darling, You'll Be Okay

Chapter 3- Be A Burning Star If It Takes All Night

Kellin's POV

I woke up with an ache in my neck and a sour taste in my mouth. Groaning, I rolled over. The screen of my phone feels like it's searing a hole in my eyes as I check how long I've slept. I've been asleep for about an hour, but it feels like I haven't slept in years. I roll out of bed, every step requiring me to summon up all my strength as the fog in my mind becomes heavier and heavier. As I make my way down the stairs, I hear a voice. My chest tightens and my heart begins to press against my ribcage. My grip on the railing relaxes when I remember that Vic is here. I'm about to take another step when I hear my name. Every muscle in my body tenses when I realize Vic is on the phone, talking about me. A million different thoughts rush through my brain. He's probably saying how much he hates me, how he can never be friends with someone as fucked up as me. I know I shouldn't listen in but I can't help it. I lean my body against the wall, careful not to make the wooden stairs squeak.

"Yeah I saw them... yeah... it's pretty bad... shit... Jaime I don't know what to do... I hate that he's going through this... I mean I knew something was up but I never thought... Yeah he knows... He's sleeping. He wanted me to stay with him... I know, I know... Just... I don't know. Yeah okay. Text me later. Okay. Bye."

I can hear the rapid beat of my heart ringing in my ears. My chest relaxes as I exhale the breath I didn't even know I was holding in. I wait about a minute, not daring to move, before stepping downstairs. Vic looks up at me and a smile lights up his face. He walks up to me and gives me a quick hug. I could never get enough of how Vic smelled. Like lavender and Tic Tacs and coffee. Ever since I met him, Vic has always had a special place in my heart. I loved everything about him, from his messy hair that he always kept under a black beanie to his deep chocolate eyes to the way he always seems at home with a guitar in his hands. My heart quickened whenever I saw him, and I felt like I was high and I never wanted it to stop. Whenever I'm near Vic I want time to stop, and I want us to be in that moment for eternity. I smiled back at him. His face soon grew serious. "How are you?" he asked, concerned.

"Better," I replied. We sat there in silence, listening to each other breathe. I had lost myself in the depths of his eyes What seemed like hours passed before Vic glanced at the clock.

"Oh shit I'm late! I gotta meet up with Tony." He looked over at me. "Stay strong, okay? I'm always here for you. I know how hard this is. But I also know that things will get better. Okay? Just give it time." He slipped on his shoes and squeezed my hand one more time before he slipped out the door. I felt the hole in my heart start to grow again that seemed to always be there when he wasn't around. I heard the door slam and the sound of heavy footprints. "Kellin? Where are you?" Gerard's voice came from the front hall. I closed my eyes as I took a deep breath and put on my best fake smile. "Hi Gerard," I said, peeking around the corner. Gerard didn't smell like cheap beer anymore, but I was still terrified of doing anything wrong. Sober Gerard can be just as terrifying and unpredictable as drunk Gerard. His face lit up when he saw me. "Hey baby. I've missed you so much." His smile spread across his whole face. I forced myself to look happy. At least he wasn't hitting me. "I've missed you too, babe." He walked towards me and I flinched. He touched my face and leaned in and kissed me. Gerard's lips always tasted of lip balm, so I tried to focus on the nice minty taste as he forced his tongue in my mouth. I tried to kiss him back, but something inside of me was holding me back. Once he let go I suppressed my sigh of relief.

"Listen baby, I don't know what got into me last night. I was drunk, I didn't know what I was doing. I love you." Of course, I forgave him. I always did. I didn't have a choice. He kissed my cheek. "You're so beautiful..." he whispered. Had anyone else said it, it would have been a compliment, but when Gerard said it, it sounded predatory.

"I have to go to work now. Have dinner ready when I come home. I love you." He kissed me one last time, making sure I knew who I belonged to, then walked out the door.