Darling, You'll Be Okay

Chapter 10

Gerard's POV

I got a text from an unknown number saying that Kellin was at the hospital after he tried to kill himself. Groaning, I get my shoes on and reluctantly get to the car. Like usual, Kellin decided to be selfish and put my reputation at stake. First with all the cutting shit and now with this. Fucking attention whore. The drive to the hospital was long and tedious, every speed bump and pothole in the road just pissing me off even more. I asked one of the nurses where Kellin's bed was and she gave me a long list of directions. After getting lost a few times, I saw both Vic and Kellin's bandmates hanging out outside a silver steel door. Tony and Mike glanced into the window and started giggling. Mike poked Jaime, who peered into the window, letting out a little squeal. I walked up to them; Jaime gives me a look of resentment and wariness. I glance into the wide plexiglass window and see Vic sitting on Kellin's bed. Their faces are almost touching. I can feel anger start to rise in my throat. My palms become sweaty and I open and close my hands into fists and wipe them on my jeans. Kellin grabs Vic's face and kisses him. Mike shoots me a worried sideways glance. Every muscle in my body has tensed up and I don't even realize I'm holding my breath. When Vic pulls away, Kellin's eyes meet mine for a fraction of a second and the utter terror in his eyes fuels me. I give him a smirk. I am looking forward to this. Kellin needs to be punished. He needs to learn his lesson. I'm glad we're past the stage when he would blame this on me. I tried to explain to him that he brought them on himself, and I had no choice.

A few weeks later, after Kellin had spent some time in a mental hospital, they called me to come pick him up. I made Kellin sit in the back seat. Like a child, where he belongs. He was completely silent on the way back. He was reluctant to get out of the car; I had to tug him out by his hand and practically drag him up the stairs. When we entered the house, I flipped Kellin around and pinned him against the door. "You know what you did. This is all your fault. I'm only giving you what you deserve," I hissed in his ear. I could feel him tremble beneath me, sending a wave of satisfaction through my body. I pulled off his shirt. Kellin was paralyzed with fear as I traced his tattoos with my fingernail. I grabbed a handful of his hair, the black fibers tracing patterns against my pale skin. Kellin cried out in pain as I dragged him upstairs. His apologies and pleas for mercy mean nothing to me as I shove him on the floor of my bedroom hard. I grabbed the hands which had barely stopped his face from hitting the ground, and pulled them behind his back. Kellin's cheek hits the floor, and while he is trying to recover from the fall I grab the rope I had placed on the dresser and tie it around his wrists. I make sure that they rub against the slices on his arms. He nearly screams in pain and I pull him up so he is standing.

"Fucking slut!" I yell, punching him across the face. His head snaps back from the blow, and I drag him against the bed. the bed. I straddle his frail body. He is trembling and crying beneath me. I pull out a lighter from my back pocket and light a cigarette. I take a puff, breathing in the sweet taste of poison and blow the smoke in Kellin's face. He coughs but the coughs soon turn into screams as I stub the stick out on his chest. I wrap the rope in my hand around the metal bed frame, securing it in place so it will be able to stand Kellin's eventual thrashing. "Honey, you're so beautiful..." I whisper into his ear. "I'd hate to damage this gorgeous body..."

"Please, Gee... don't- don't do this."

"This isn't my fault, Kellin. You did this to yourself." He thrashed around in his restraints. I slipped off his jeans and his boxers , leaving him completely exposed for me. I stepped back and admired his body. I gestured with my finger for him to stand up. Awkwardly, he got to his feet, his hands still twisted behind him. I grabbed his head and smashed his nose into my knee. Blood gushed everywhere, crimson marking my tan pants Kellin began to sob. I looked down on him in disgust. "You're so fucking ugly." Kellin looked up at me, eyes full of tears and blood splattered all over his face. "Please," he whispered. I scoffed. "You brought this on yourself. If you hadn't kissed your whore friend Vic like the slut you are-" I spat on his face after the word 'slut'. "- none of this would have happened. I don't want to do this to you Kellin, but I have no choice." I could see it in his eyes he was taking my words to heart. He knew it was his fault. I undo my belt and loop it once around my hand, then slap leather onto his bare chest. It left red welt that began to ooze blood. Kellin cried out in pain, and I slapped him once more, the belt leaving raw bloody skin exposed. I grabbed Kellin tight around the throat and slammed the back of his head against the bedframe. I could feel my anger boiling through my veins as I remember how Kellin's lips pressed against Vic's, how his hands were tangled in his hair and Vic's hands were pressed against his chest. In Kellin's dazed state I slapped him hard across the face. I could see that the rope holding his hands above his head was beginning to rub his skin raw. "You fucking slut!" I screamed at him, tightening my grip on his throat. Kellin's face was turning purple, and he was trying to choke out words. "What?" I yelled. "You have no right to speak, you disgusting whore. Vic could never love you." I let go of his throat and pulled back on his hair, ripping out some of the fine black fibers. "You should be thankful that I put up with all your bullshit and this-" I yanked back his hair harder, screams mixed with sobs ripping through his throat and filling the air "-this is how you repay me?" I can't hold myself back anymore and I straddle his breaking body and feel my fist collide with his cheek over and over until my knuckles are stained with his ruby blood. Sweat is beginning to form on my forehead.

Panting, I get off of Kellin, who is little more than a pile of raw flesh. I untie the rope from his hands, the loop of tender redness around his wrists shining vibrantly. I almost pity the poor boy. He collapses into a mess of blood and tears. I leave the door open, knowing he isn't going to be able to move for a while and feel the chill of the kitchen tiles upon my bare feet. I open the freezer and pull out the a handful of ice cubes, placing them into a plastic Ziploc bag. My hand was going numb as I carried the bag back into the bedroom. Kellin was sitting up now, tears still streaming down his face. His entire chest was covered in bleeding red rashes and his face was a purple blotchy mess. I kneeled down beside him. I gave him a smile, putting on my nicest face. My fists were longing for the contact of his sweet, soft face again, but I held myself back, knowing if I just held on a little longer, the reward would be even better. I took one of the dripping ice cubes in my hand and pressed it against his stomach. Kellin hissed in pain, but then closed his eyes as the cooling sensation of water dripping down his damaged body dulled the agony of the pain I had just inflicted. I held the ice there until it had completely melted, then placed another one on one of the red welts caused by the belt. I placed my free hand gently on his cheek; Kellin flinched away from me. "Shh... shh... baby it's okay," I soothed. Kellin was still trembling, but I stroked his cheek until he had calmed down. "Baby I'm so sorry. I don't know why I did that. I was just angry. I was just angry that you had kissed Vic. I was just trying to teach you a lesson. I love you so much Kellin." I gave him a soft kiss on his lips and placed the half-melted ice cube in my left hand against his bruised eye. I grinded my hips a little against his bare ones, feeling him tighten in fear. I began to stroke his thigh gently, tracing circles with his thumb. My hand made its way up his thigh, and Kellin closed his legs instinctively.

I spread the contents of the bag over his chest, littered with still-bleeding wounds. I ran my hand up the underside of his leg, kissing the inside of each knee and making my way up his thighs. The phone rang, making me jump. I felt Kellin struggle underneath me, my grip becoming stronger on his shoulder. When the phone went to voicemail, Vic's voice sounded across the small speakers.

"Um... hey Kells. I just wanted to call you to... um... make sure you're okay. Okay. Call me when you can. Love you." Fire blazed in my eyes as I turned back to Kellin. "I thought I told you not to talk to him, Kellin. After what you did to me... and now this..." I got back, watching as he hesitantly crawled to his hands and knees. Energy coursed through my body as my foot connected with his ribs. Kellin fell over, and coughed out a dark red clot of blood. I remembered the knife I had place on the dresser alongside the rope. I curled my hand around the handle of the blade. I blocked out the noise of Kellin's cries as I dug the blade into his chest and pulled down across his stomach. All I could see was the silver blade sinking into Kellin's soft skin, giving him the pain he deserved. Kellin's face was growing pale, and I put the knife down beside me and wiped up some of the blood with his shirt. I didn't want him dying on me just yet. Sighing, I stood up and walked to the bathroom to wash my hands. I heard faint footsteps coming up the stairs and I freeze as the bedroom door opens.