Darling, You'll Be Okay

Chapter 7- There's No Room In This Hell, There's No Room In The Next

Tony's POV

My GPS says that Kellin's house is only a block away. My feet are aching from the long walk, but I couldn't risk taking the car. A few weeks ago, Vic had told us about what Gerard was doing to Kellin. We had known about Vic's feelings for Kellin for a long time, of course, and it killed me to see my best friend in so much pain. It wasn't much of a surprise when I volunteered to keep an eye on Kellin. I knew how hard it was to leave an abusive partner; It took me nearly a year to go to the police when I was being abused by my ex-boyfriend, Oli. Oli was my best friend before we had started dating. He had been struggling with a Ketamine addiction since before I knew him, and it made him very aggressive. He had hidden the severity of it from me until it had completely taken over his life. He would come home completely fucked off his head and burn me with a lighter until I passed out from the pain. I covered up the scars with tattoos, but the memories never fade. His behavior sent me into a year long depression, and was the reason I started drinking again. I haven't heard from Oli in years, but his wife Hannah texted me once saying that he was out of rehab and had been clean for almost 4 months. I made Kellin promise me he'll text me every day, so I know he's okay. He'd kept his promise for the first week or so, but he hasn't texted me since Saturday. I texted him one last time saying that I was coming over. He hadn't replied to my earlier texts, and I was getting more and more worried. I hear a short beep from my phone signalling that I'm here.

The silver Honda isn't parked in the driveway, so Gerard must be at work. I lift up the doormat and find the spare key. Jiggling it a little in the bronze lock, It opens with a click. I knew something was wrong from the moment I stepped in. The house felt dead. Like there should be something living there, but any signs of life had been destroyed. "Kellin?" I called out, my voice shaking. I tried to steady it, my voice coming out stronger as I called his name again. I cautiously stepped up the stairs. Kellin's door was shut, and something was propped up against it on the other side. Using my entire body, I shoved myself against the door, forcing it open a little. My right flank stung, but I pushed past the pain as I shoved the door open enough for me to squeeze through. The metallic taste of blood hung in the air. Kellin's body is lying on the burgundy duvet. The scarlet blood is still pouring out of a deep wound in his neck. Earbuds are tangled around his raven hair and He looks almost... peaceful. His hands are soaked in blood and a razor blade lay on his open palm. I'm not even thinking as I rip off my jacket and press it to the wound, forgetting my phone was in the pocket. It flies onto the pillow beside Kellin's head, and I grab it, finger shaking as I dial 9-1-1.

"Come on Kellin. Stay with me," I mumble under my breath. The dispatcher picks up and I urgently tell them what happened. The woman on the other line has a voice that sounds like silk as she calmly tells me to find a clean cloth and apply pressure to his neck. The white hand towel soon becomes stained a dark red and my hands become soaked in blood. I can just barely hear the faint rise and fall of each of his dying breaths. My heart is pounding but I force myself to stay calm as I hear the ambulance sirens get louder and louder. I hear the pounding of footsteps coming up the stairs. The dispatcher tells me to hang up as two men and a woman ran into the room, one of the men carrying a stretcher. He brushes his dirty blonde hair out of the way and nods at the woman. "Get his feet," he says in a thick yorkshire accent. He and the woman place Kellin's frail and bleeding body on the metal frame. The woman hands the stretcher to the third man and turns to me as they rush him out of the room. I am shaking now, almost unable to stand. I sit down on the bed and wipe my hands on my jeans. I can hear the woman start talking to me, but my head is spinning too much. I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look up to see her standing beside me. She has heavy black eyeliner on and her blonde hair tied up in a tight bun.

"What's your name?" She asks, her voice deeper than I would've expected.

"Tony." I was surprised at how stable my voice was.

"My name is Taylor," she smiled. "The two men you saw were Danny and Mitch. I'm going to ask you a few questions. Is that okay?" I nod. She asks me about what happened, if Kellin had a history of mental illness, if he had any family. She places her hand on my back, her fingers warm to the touch, guiding me to a police car outside of the house. I don't know if I would've made it down the stairs if she hadn't been there to help me. My legs almost buckle beneath me as I crawl into the back. She introduces the driver as Austin, a man with sad eyes but a stunning smile and tattoos all down his neck and his arms. I can't even focus on what Taylor's saying anymore. Kellin. Kellin. Kellin why did you do this?

'Is he going to live?" I blurt out, interrupting Taylor mid-sentence. She looks at me with pity. I want to slap her. I don't need her pity. I need Kellin.

"We're doing everything we can," she reassures me.

"But is he going to live? Is Kellin going to be okay?"

"I will let you know as soon as I find out. I promise." She gives me a small smile and I can't stop the tears from falling. When we reach the hospital, she leads me into the waiting room. I pull out my phone to see that I have five missed calls, all from Vic. I click on his number and he picks up within two rings.

"Tony?"

"Hey Vic"

"Oh my god Tony. We heard sirens. Why didn't you pick up? What happened? Is Kellin okay?" He was getting more and more panicked with each second.

"Vic... he... tried to kill himself." I'm almost glad I wasn't able to see the look on his face. The silence hung in the air for an agonizingly long moment.

"What?" Vic finally whispered, voice stripped away of everything except pure, raw pain.

"I saw him. He was... he had..." I couldn't get the words out. "We're at the hospital."

"Is he alive?"

"I think so. He was when I found him. They still don't know if he's going to make it." It didn't even feel real. Saying it out loud just felt like words, disconnected from their meaning.

"I'm coming over." The line went dead. I sighed and collapsed into one of the stiff plastic chairs. How could I have let this happen? How did Kellin get so damn broken? Numbly, I texted the rest of Kellin's band members, letting them know what had happened. I ran my hand through my hair and absentmindedly rubbed at the tattoos on my neck, tracing the owl that I got to cover up cigarette burns. An hour of watching people in various stages of dying come in and out of the waiting room, one of the men I had seen before came back out. He was the man in the police car, Austin. I stood up as he walked over to me.

"Hello, Tony. My name is Austin." He stuck out his hand. Austin was long and lanky, and where the collar of his shirt stopped I could see a faint scar on his chest, erasing the tattoo ink underneath it. I forced a smile and shook his hand. "So what's the news? Is he going to make it?"

"He is unconscious right now but his pulse is stable. He should wake up within a day. Your friend Kellin gave us quite the scare, but he's going to be fine."

I breathed a heavy sigh of relief. I thanked Austin, then placed my head against one of the pillars I let the tears fall. He's okay. He's going to make it. I saw Vic come running in, followed by Mike and a guy with spiky hair and tattoos up his left arm. Vic skidding to a halt next to me, out of breath.

"How is he?" he panted. His worried expression got deeper when he saw the tears running down my face "Tony?" I let out a shaky breath.

"He's gonna make it." Vic let out a sigh of relief. "Thank God. Is he awake?" I shook my head. "They said he should wake up soon though." Vic sat down in one of the chairs next to me. The spiky haired guy sat down next to Vic and put his hand on his shoulder, whispering something to him. Vic nodded. "Thanks Jaime," he said, giving him a small smile. Vic put his head on Jaime's bicep, his breathing slowing until he had gone completely limp, snoring a little. Jaime chuckled, taking off his jacket and balling it up. He gently moved Vic so he was sitting up, and placed the jacket under his neck. "I'll wake him up when Kellin's allowed visitors," Mike promised. Jaime nodded. The world slowly seemed to return back to it's normal pace, then became slower and slower as I sat down numbly, resting my head on my hand and letting myself fall asleep in the middle of the hospital waiting room.