Perfectly Imperfect

Chapter 16

    By the time lunch rolled around, David's nerves were going haywire. He hadn't seen Ian all morning, but then again -- that wasn't entirely unusual. Apart from riding in with him and hanging out before their first period classes, David normally didn't see very much of Ian before lunch. But now, if he was at school, seeing him at the table was inevitable, and that left David feeling nervous. He still had no idea what he was going to do or say when he saw him. All throughout the day, he thought about Ian -- mulling over his situation. And when he wasn't thinking about his situation, he thought about what Anthony told him and if it was possible Ian was still using heroin. He hadn't ever done it in front of David, but that didn't mean he didn't use it in his spare time. If things were as bad as Anthony said, though, he would be using every chance he got. It wasn't the type of thing that just got better over time and exposure, so David thought it was safe to conclude Ian had kicked the worst of his addictions. But it was still there. The addiction would never truly go away, and was David ready to move forward knowing this?

    As he thought about it, he realized he was. David was by no means perfect. He had more than his fair share of issues, but when he was with Ian, he forgot about those issues. They could work through their problems together and in time grow to be, well, not perfect by society's standards, but perfect for one another. The hardest part was making Ian realize this.

    David trudged down the hall, feeling like he was walking to a funeral. What did he say? How did he make things better again? He was so consumed by his thoughts that even though he was dragging his feet to the cafeteria, he approached the table before he knew it. Joshua was already sitting there, reading through a strategy guide. But apart from him, the table was empty.

    David sank into the seat beside his friend, unpacking his lunch, "Hey...have you seen Ian?"

    "No," Joshua answered -- short and blunt.

    The shortness surprised David. Even though Joshua had become more withdrawn without his medication, he had still been friendly and talkative. David left it alone and didn't comment. Everyone seemed to be having their problems, and Joshua was no different. Why was everyone falling apart around him?

    "What're you reading?" David figured he could distract them both with conversation. It wasn't very effective on his part, though, because he kept looking at the door and scanning the tables for any sign of Ian.

    Joshua simply adjusted the book so he could flash David the cover and answer his question without answering it verbally.

    "Is it any good?"

    The question seemed to be the final straw. Joshua slammed the book down on the table, "Why are you talking to me! Can't you see I'm concentrating on this?!"

    The outburst astonished David, and he stared at Joshua in bewilderment. Slowly, he recovered enough to mumble, "Sorry."

    Everyone dealt with their stress differently, and Joshua was finally cracking under the pressure. David wondered if this was a reparable crack or if his friend would shatter. He had to do something for him. David was the only one who got it -- who knew how damaging anxiety and depression could be. Joshua's parents most certainly didn't, otherwise they would have never taken him off his medication. If someone had cancer, you didn't stop giving them medicine because you couldn't afford it and expect them to get better. Why didn't people treat mental illness with the same respect as any other sickness?

    He had been about to interrupt Joshua again to try and diffuse the building knot of tension when Iris arrived, taking advantage of Ian not being there by sinking into his normal spot next to David. She smiled, setting her tray down. "Hi, Josh." And then a more meaningful look was spared toward David. "Hi, David."