The Dead Men and their demented mischief - A Skulduggery Pleasant Fanfic

Chapter 1

This is set after TDOTL but with my own exceptions:

· All of the Dead Men are still alive (Ghastly, Dexter, Saracen, Anton)

· Erskine Ravel is NOT a traitor. Let's just put all that behind us

· Grand Mage is Mr Bliss

· Darquesse and Lord Vile will not surface and are permanently gone

· Valkyrie is somehow 25

· This story will feature barely any new or made up main characters

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Chapter 1

"SKULDUGGERY!" Valkyrie yelled standing at the end of the stairs. "Pick a freaking hat and let's go!"

He entered the room wearing one of his many hats, perched perfectly over his skull. "One can never look to good while seeing friends," he said and Valkyrie rolled her eyes.

"They all look the same anyway," she muttered.

Skulduggery tilted his head, looking at her questionably. "Valkyrie, you seem a little too excited, I mean, we are just seeing all the Dead Men..."

"Yes, yes I know but we haven't seen them in forever!"

"Is there someone in particular you want to see there, hmm?"

Valkyrie laughed then smiled, "No not at all really, I'm just looking forward to seeing them all and catching up." She started walking to the door, "Now get your bony ass in the car before I really get mad."

Skulduggery put his hands up in defence, "I'm moving, I'm moving," he said as he followed Valkyrie and left the house.

Valkyrie stood outside the car door nd looked over at Skulduggery. "Am I ever going to be allowed to drive the Bentley?"

Skulduggery laughed and shook his head, "We both know what happened last time I let you," he said and winced at the memory. "My poor baby was gone for a week."

"Oh get over yourself, it was JUST a dint, it didn't even need fixing," she said and looked up at Skulduggery.

"Nevertheless, the answer is still, and will always be, no."

Skulduggery opened the car door and got in; Valkyrie sighed and slid in as well.

"Do you even know the address Skul?"

"Of course I know the address, this brain of mine doesn't tend to forget things," Skulduggery said and tapped his empty skull.

"You do know it's just air up there?"

He sighed and looked at her, "Believe it or not Val, that was in fact actually the joke." Skulduggery shook his head and drove off.

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The Bentley pulled neatly into a park, attracting a lot of funny looks from passer byers, and even more when a young dark-haired girl and a man completely covered and tightly bundled got out.

"You know you could've just used the façade..." Valkyrie muttered at Skulduggery.

"I know, but I just wasn't feeling it today."