My love forever <3 (On Hold)

My love forever <3 5

          Well, today was the day I was to bury the last of my family. It made me sick to the stomach thinking It was my duty as an older sister putting my younger brother 6 feet under.

"Baby you ready?' Matthew's voice was so soft and low it made me feel calm.

"Yeah ready as I'll ever be." I stood there in a black Pencil skirt with a white button up shirt, my hair flowing with loose curls, and black heels. I hated this.

Matthew was in black slacks and a red button up shirt and black tie, his hair gelled. He looked so handsome.

I felt nauseous. "I think I'm going to be sick!" I ran to the bathroom and sure enough I got sick.

"Honey, are you alright! Are you running fever?" Matthew stood at the closed door.

"Y-yeah I'll be fine love just a sec I will be right out." Where did that come from?

I re-brushed my teeth and walked out "Ready?"

We arrived and there were tons of cars. My heart broke a little more when I walked into the church with my lifeless brother laying in a open casket.

The picture next to him was his High School graduation picture. So handsome, so so handsome.

I'd do anything to hear his voice again, for him to say I love you. It kills me that that last thing we argued about was him being a father.

Oh God, that baby will grow up without his father! My heart broke even more, and I didn't think it was possible.

Matthew's grip on my hand tightened when I swayed coming closer to his body.

Oh my baby brother what I would do to see your face full of life again.

People took their turns saying there sorrys and what not saying "If you need anything just call me." But they couldn't give me what I truly wanted, the thing I wanted was laying there without a life.

It was my turn now to stand and say a word for my baby brother.

"Hello everyone, thank you all for coming today for my beautiful baby brother, he would be so hourned to see each of you. I never thought that I would be the one to say good bye first, but I almost feel bad saying bye." I looked down at my hand's and looked around at the silent people all looking at..me...

"My brother Jake was a loving young boy, cared so much for me, the one to walk me down the isle, so smart, and so full of laughter, love, and life. He was a soon to be father to you who didn't know, gosh would he have been the best daddy. I stand here today as his big sister the one who always stuck up for him, put band aids on his skinned knees, tucked him into bed, scared the scary monsters away. Now he will be my guardian angel forever. I love you so much baby boy. You will never be forgotten."

I stepped down from the pulpit places a red rose on his chest.

The silence was broke from crys all over the church. I sat down and looked at Matthew.

His eyes teary. "That was the most beautiful thing I have ever heard you say." He placed a soft kiss on my cheek.

It was time now for us to bury him. I stood next to Jake as they lowered my brother into the ground.

In that moment right then and there my life felt as if something was soothed inside me.

Everything was okay. I know Matthew was standing next to me, he was proud of me, his older sister being strong and being able to do all this.

He was still alive in my heart forever, I couldn't wait to see his smiling face again. He would be standing there waiting for me with that beautiful smile in his face welcoming me to heaven.

I stood there in silence while everybody left the cemetery. My arms crossed against my chest.

"I know your looking down on me right now Jake. And I love you, and I just want you to know that I'm going to slap you when I see you again for putting me through this! But with that being said, I will get back to my normal life not being sad, and I will take care of that baby for you, I will never stop loving and missing you."

Matthew smiled at me and took my hand. "The strongest girl on this earth is the one I'm standing next to right now."

I looked up at him and kissed him. "Thank you my love."

We walked hand and hand away from the cemetery.

We pulled up at a restaurant, I was super hungry I haven't had an appetite in 3 days.

"Table for 2." Matt said to the waitress.

"Right this way." She seated us at a table right by a window. It was dark by now.

I looked across the table and smiled.

"You were so strong today baby, I'm so proud of you." Matthew took my delicate hand into his.

"It took a lot babe, but i did it." I half smiled.

"Well I think you did absolutely amazing! The words you said, they moved me baby."

"They came from right here." I put his hand on my chest over my heart.

"I swear Emmalynn you surprise me with something everyday."

I smiled leaned over the table and kissed the man of my dreams.

We ordered our food, and sat there and talked, like nothing happened.

"Here is your food, it's hot so be careful." The waitress put the food in front of us.

Oh boy. I ran to the bathroom and once again got sick.

What the hell! What is wrong, I know I don't have the flu I got the flu shot!..

I walked out to Matthew, he had a stunned look on his face. He was confused..

"Are you okay? That's the second time you've got sick today." He stood up waited for me to sit, and sat back down.

"I don't know what's wrong babe."

"Could you be pregnant?" He said jokingly.

My eyes got big.

"Emma no I was kidding don't get your hopes up." He said very seriously.

"N-no Matthew really! I haven't had me you know." I shook my head, and whispered "Period."

"Emma your always like that. Then we test and it's false. It kills us each time."

"I know but what if it's our turn to have a baby Matthew! Can you just be a little bit enthusiastic!"

He looked down at his plate. "Honey, I just don't want you to be hurt."

I looked at him, I knew what he meant. I'd get my hopes up and it would be way to good to be true.

"I'll take a test and see, but I wont get exited until we find out okay?"

He looked at me and shook his head.

We were done eating and just getting home we walked into a silent home.

"Well." I broke the awkward silence between me and Matthew. "Guess I'll hit the shower huh?" I laughed a little.

"Okay babe see you when your done." He undid his tie and sat down.

I walked up to the bathroom shut the door pulled out a pregnancy test and did the routine.

I sat up on the counter and waited 8 minuted. Looked down.

Oh boy...