The Shadow Mafia Queen (Ended Shortly)

Chapter 16: Music ball 1 (Feeling this way)

Hello mga readers! Salamat sa pagbasa at sa pagiintay. Sorry din dun pala. Huhu. Pic pala ni Dexter, gwapo noh? Hahahaha sige. Enjoy reading
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Samantha's POV:

I can't still get over from all the stuffs that happened yesterday. I really regret being a Gangster, or rather yet a mafia queen. I hate to be part of all the hurting memories. I hate falling inlove.

I hope Javine forgive me. I hope Janice forgive me too because it's my fault that she was killed by an accident, because she was one of the kidnappers. And I was saving her. Pero siya pala yung lumigligtas sa akin.

Alam ko hindi ko mabait na tao. 'Coz I've killed many people. But I'm not heartless. But that accident went me through nightmares. Ughhh. Kasalanan ko sa lahat ng to. Kasalanan ko na hindi siya nabubuhay ngayon dahil sa akin.

Janice, was my bestfriend in New York when I was 1st year. Javin, was my boyfriend too. But it turns out. I've hurt alot of people on my past.

Pati ang mga tao sa piligid dinamay ko. Pati ang mga past-friends dinamay ko din. I decided to move on and settle things.

Then the 3 came and help me. I've been cold to alot of people. I've been quiet and stay in the right corner. But it was dangerous.

My thoughts, past days, and them are bugging me. I have to visit her thomb one day. I have to. I want to say sorry. Sincerly. I want to forgot all these past memories. I want to stay quiet and stay out of the past. But they kept on barging.

Sana naging normal lang ako. Pero hindi talaga naawa yung tadhana. I hate it.

Tumigil ko yung pagiisip ko nung may kumakatok.

"Samantha, please kumain kana. Kahapon ka pa kumulong dyan" malungkot na sabi ni CJ. Bumuntong huminga ako.

Yeah. Kumulong ako dito. Kasi nagiisip ako. Mamaya pa yung Music ball. Pero akong plano pupunta dun. I want some space.

"Just go down, CJ" malamig kong utos. Narinig kong bumunton huminga siya.

"Samantha, bakit ka kasi kumukulong dyan?? Go out. Masama ang magkukulong dyan ng walang kinain" alalang sabi niya.

Hindi ako umimik at tinuloy ko na lang ang pagtatahimik ko at pagiisip ko.

Naririnig kong footsteps pababa. Good. I don't want to see anybody

Inisip ko lang lahat na memories na kasama ko silang dalawa na masaya kaming lahat. Pati nga ako ngumiti. This is the second time ngumiti ako. After I became cold. Nung naglalaban kami ni Drake at ngayon.

I hate looking back on my past but I can't stop thinking about it. I hate being trapped in sadness, anger, and hurt. I hate to feel those emotions. Thats why I became cold. But when I saw him yesterday. I can't even talk to anybody and just emote here alone.

Sana pumigil na to. Sana bumalik na ako sa pagiging cold ko. Nang wala yung lahat na malungkot at nasasaktan na nararamdaman ko ngayon.

Oo. Galit ako ngayon sa sirili ko. Pero hindi din ako tumigil sa walang emosyon na bahagi ko. Only coldness, emosionless, and quiet me. Yan lang ang paraan para hindi ako maging ganito.

Tumingin ako sa orasan at 2:30 p.m. na. Hayy. Pumunta ako sa loob ng banyo ko. At magliligo. I need to take care of myself.

Lumabas ako sa banyo at bumihis ng gray t-shirt that says 'vans', pants, and red sneakers.

I tied my hair into a ponytale. At lumabas. Hindi sa pintuan. Sa bintana mismo. Hindi ko gusto makikita na kahit sino dito sa loob.

Pumunta ako sa garage. At kinuha yung black porche ko. Nagsimula ako magdra-drive. Pinabuksan ko nila. At nagmamaneho ako ng mabilis.