Dan Howell imagines

Rejection

I absolutely loved writing this!
Thank you to the lovely who requested this 😘
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Today's the day I had planned to tell Dan I had feelings for him.
He and I had met a few years ago at vidcon.
I didn't go to meet him, but I accidentally bumped into him as he had a drink in his had and it spilled all over my favorite band t-shirt.
We ended laughing it off and talking a bit till his break was over.
Then the next day we bumped into each other again but it was less messy.

Long story sort, we had exchanged numbers and became great friends but over the past year or so I've began to want to be more than friends. I love him I'm just scared it will ruin our relationship, but I've just been feeling so down lately.

It all stared a month ago when Dan and I had a big fight about something stupid. Then it grew rapidly, then he said something that hurt me awfully...

"Dan, I don't want to go though..." I said not looking up from my lap top.
"You're going, you've been lonely for a long time, out of the three years I've known you you've not once went out on a date, or matter of fact, you haven't even had a crush on anyone" he looked at me deeply.
I can't believe he hasn't put two-And-two together yet..
"Dan Im not up for dateing at the moment." I say sheepishly.

"Yeah you are, I can tell it in your eyes" he smiled.
I didn't respond, instead I put my head phones on.
"Y/nnnn" Dan said yanking my head phones off of my head and out of the headphone jack in my computer almost breaking my expansive headphones.

"DAN WHAT THE HELL!" I said reaching for my head phones.
"No. Not till you tell me who you like"
"No Dan, i don't like anyone now give me my god damn head phones!" I reach for it again.

"Fine then. Phil will tell me after you've told me." He said hurt.
"Dan, don't go there!"
"Don't go WHERE? HUH? YOURE THE ONE WHO ALWAYS LEAVES ME OUT ON EVERYTHING! YOU AND PHIL 'some how' END UP GOING TO GET COFFEE TOGETHER WHEN IM STUCK AT HOME WORKING!"He yells,

"WELL WE ALWAYS ASK YOU IF YOU WNAT TO GO! WERE ONLY OUT FOR A HALF HOUR! ITS NOT THAT HARD TO TAKE OFF FOR A HALF HOUR! PLUS THE VIDEO DOSENT GET POSTED TILL A WEEK AFTER YOUVE FINISHED EDITING SO IM GUESSING A HALF FUCKING HOUR WOULDNT FUCKING HURT YOU!"

"OR MAYBE YOU COULD MAKE PLANS WHEN IM NOT FUCKING WORKING! THAT WOULD BE FUCKING EASIER FOR BOTH OF US!" He defends.

"FUCK OFF!"I say rolling my eyes and yanking my head phones away from him.

"You know what? You're always so up tight and rude! IVE ALWAYS HATED YOU! I just felt bad cause I knew you didn't have any friends and now I know why.."

---
I had stopped eating, depression even but I knew I had to stay strong.
I mean I did tell Phil first but I would've told Dan if I didn't like him..

I had just finished putting on my dress and heels. My make up was all done and personal hygiene was takin care of. My hair was fixed all nice. I'd never do this unless it was something important and not it's a lot more than that.

Dan was going to meet me at the location.
I had called a cab and was off by exactly
8:00 pm.
The whole ride there I was so nervous, he had texted me multiple time but I only responded once to ask him out for dinner.
I had practiced how to tell him and different reactions he could have.

As the taxi came to a complete stop, I opened the door and seen Dan waiting at the table.
He looked nervous,
He moved his thumbs around in a circle then checked his watch. I then took a deep breath.
I could tell e was extra nervous cause the little red patch of skin on the side of his face is extra promenait.

"Its go time..." I say to myself as I entre the fancy building.
"Reservation?"
"Howell" I reply.
"Right this way mam." The dark brown headed waiter lead me to the table Dan was sitting at.
An unsettling feeling began in my stomach.
Dan jumped a bit when he seen me turn the corner. He quickly stood up from his chair pulling the other chair out for me to sit in.

I smile nervously and sit down as he took a seat on the other side.
"Wine sir?" The man asked dressed all up in a tux.
"White please. Thank you" Dan said as the man nodded once and wondered off to another table.

"So... uhh" Dan said.
"Look, im really sorry. I shouldn't have said that about you. I was just mad that you wouldn't go to that party with me, even though I only wanted to go see Arabella." He laughed.

I nodded, she's so much better than me. It's nauseating. No wonder why Dan likes her.

"I'm  such a cowered to think I have a chance." He laughs."

I look at my empty whine glass gaining the courage to tell him.

"-that's why this part of my fringe is kinda cut sh- y/n?" He asked.
I lift my eye brows still staring into the empty wine glass.

"Whats on your mind?"
I sigh...

"Dan, I told Phil who I liked but I didn't tell you cause I didn't like you, I didn't tell you cause–I do... hell I love you.."

Dans eyes dropped in realization of what he did.i dont guess he noticed how long he had been looking down.

"Dan? You okay?"
"Oh.. y/n I-uh... how do I put this?"
My heart stopped. That's always the start of something bad. I heard back the tears.

"You're one of my best friends I don't see you as a girl friend.. I'm sorry." Dan said grabbing my hand.
"I hope you know that I love you . Maybe later I'll develops feelings for you.. I'm not sure but for now— it's just not a good time. But you're a wonderful, amazing, talented girl that any guy would be lucky to call his." He smiles.

I let one tear escape.
"Oh no y/n please don't do this to me now I feel bad!" He says As he reaches over the table  and wipes the tear off my face.
"I'm sorry," I say.
"No, it's fine. I just want to go back to normal. Having movie nights the falling asleep on the couch all cuddled up cause your sucky apartment heat hates working in the London winter so I'm your heater." He laughs.

"Are we still best friends?" Dan asks with a smirk on his face.
"Yeah," I smile back.

After dinner my heat stopped working in my shitty apartment so Dan was with me till morning.

He's the sweetest, even though I had gotten rejected, he still makes me feel loved somehow.

---
How was it?
I thought it was sweet <3
Feel free to request. My requests are always open.
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:)
// btw, am I the only person who cuddles with her guy best friend. We don't like each other
(He's gay) but I just wanted to know..