Hushed

Chapter Eleven

Yes. No. Well, yes. But no. How do I-- do I tell him? He's still looking at me. His eyes. They're so concerned. We've stopped walking.

Shake of my head. But... I stop. I know she'll kill me. He's already figured it out though. Oh no oh no oh no no no no.

Inhale.

Exhale.

I grab his wrist and drag him down the hall towards the auditorium. Step step step step step. I speed up and run. He keeps pace with me.

When we get to the auditorium, I let go and check to make sure no one's there.

Another deep breath. Then turn. Look at his eyes. A long blink. She's going to kill me.

Nod.

Relief fills his face. I knew it. How do you go through life and keep it a secret? Are you newly deaf? What happened? Do you know any----- he keeps the questions coming. Dizzy. Too much. Stop. Stop. S t o p.

He stops as I hold up my hands. Pencil and paper.

I wanted to be normal. I can read lips. I do know some signs. No. I was born this way. Reread. Mostly true. Nothing about mum. I turn the paper to him, his eyes scanning it eagerly. His eyes light up at something, and he shoves the paper back into my hands. Okay okay okay um... His mannerisms seem to say. He's thinking of something. What on earth is he-?

....... Oh....

Hi. My name is Jace, and I want to be your friend. His hands say in rough, beginner's sign language.

Oh... Oh dandelions he's talking to me.... In my.... My language... My broken, unnecessary language. He... Talked to me....

I don't feel my knees give out. I don't even feel myself hit the floor.

He talked to me.... Somebody talked to me...

He kneels down next to me. Are you okay?

Yes. No. I am so okay. I am not okay. I realize now that I'm crying.

I didn't mean to upset you. I think that's what he said. My eyes are blurry. Stupid tears. He thinks for a second. Sorry? He signs.

He did it again... He is talking to me. To me. In my language.

He thinks he's done something wrong. Shake of the head. I lean up on my knees and hug him. He tenses, obviously surprised.

Pull away. I hold up a finger so he'll give me time to write.

Don't be sorry. Please don't. I'm not upset. I'm really really really happy. I slide the paper towards him. His eyes slide across the page. He smiles a little, but then confusion creeps across his face.

Why are you so happy? I'm not even sure that was right.

Oh, snot dragons. I can't tell him about mum. She'll kill me.

I realize I'm shaking my head. No. You got it right.

Then why is it that big of a deal?

No. I can't tell him. Not that. He knows too much all ready. But.... He signed at me..... No, Kaylei. No.

I shake my head again and begin to walk away. Ah. Turn around. He's grabbed my wrist. His eyes plead for answers.

I let out a breath. I gesture for the paper. I write my words and then hand them to him. He takes the note, letting go of me. I glance back as I run from the room. Shock, pity, sadness. They cripple his face and cover it with shadows as his eyes meet mine again.

....No one's ever signed to me before....