"If I choose one, then I lose the other. And I can't bare the thought of losing one of you."
In which she loves them both.
{SEQUEL TO "FORGET"}
{AU FANFICTION}
Cover made by @bradford_bad_gurl1
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>>>
Jai couldn't remember the last time he'd cried.
Maybe it was days? Weeks? Or even months?
No matter how long it'd been, all those times he hadn't cried when he should have were now resurfacing as he looked down at Marina's dead body.
He was full of regret. Of sadness, frustration, confusion, emptiness. But most of all: anger.
It should have been him. That's all he could think of. How he was the one that was supposed to be killed. Not Marina. No. She was suppose to accomplish many things in her life, even if that meant neither him nor Luke being in the picture.
She was supposed to get married, maybe have kids, grow old, live her life in happiness and joy. And then when the time came, she would die. Peacefully and painlessly.
But none of that could happen now. She was dead. She wasn't coming back. When she had been staked, Jai didn't hesitate in killing Reyna, ripping her heart out before she had the chance to think of what she did and fire again.
He'd also remembered, after sobbing his heart out with the rest of the boys, that he had healed her earlier with his blood. But that wasn't enough blood to turn someone. It was only a small amount, barely enough to heal her. He'd tried to feed her more of his blood when she collapsed. But it was no use. She was already dead.
He clutched her small, cold hand as tears fell silently down his cheeks. They dripped onto her cheek and he'd while them away every time, caressing her cheek in the process.
The boys had left him alone with her, to properly say his goodbyes before compelling themselves a mortician to retrieve her body. They had each come in and spent a few minutes with her, Luke a little longer than the rest of them. But Jai had been here for hours. He couldn't leave her side, he didn't want to.
He wasn't ready to let go.
There was void, an empty space in his heart that couldn't possibly be filled. He'd contemplated turning his humanity off. No emotions, no pain. But he knew Marina wouldn't want for him to do that. So he didn't.
"Why'd you have to do that, Marina? It was so...foolish of you." He whispered to her, though she couldn't possibly hear him. His hand brushed through her dark hair, savoring the feeling of the softness of it.
"I had hope." He continued. "That maybe you did choose me. That one day you could possibly want to turn, to spend eternity together. Or we would've found a way for me to turn human again. Imagine that. We'd marry and grow old together. Hell, we'd even have kids. You'd be the best mum. You're already the greatest love one could have."
His brows furrowed and he inhaled sharply before continuing, speaking quieter this time. "Or...were." He looked down at her, his heart aching. "You don't understand how much I love you. I'll always love you. Everything about you...the way your eyes lit up when you talked about the things you loved, when they would squint slightly whenever you were concentrating. Your soft hair, your beautiful face, your contagious laugh, your unique personality. Even how you got irritated over the littlest of things. I loved it all."
He swallowed back his tears and laced his fingers with hers. "You don't understand how much I regret leaving you. I wasn't thinking. It wasn't right. Any of it. You always said there's always another way, and there could have been. We could've dealt with Jonathan together. We would've stayed together."
He was intently watching her as he spoke. Even in death, she still looked as beautiful as ever. She would always be beautiful. How she never believed it was impossible to him. She was breathtaking, capturing everyone's attention wherever she went.
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"You know, i don't blame you for loving Luke. I understand it. More than I should and it scares me. I get it though, he was there. He loved you and treated you with the care and affectionate I didn't. I should have been more loving, more understanding, more careful. And I'm sorry. If you were to pick Luke, I'd get it. I'd accept it and let you two be. Because the only thing that mattered was your happiness."
He leaned closer to her and ran his thumb over her pale lips. "I'm not going to lie, I won't be okay. I know it's gonna take me a while to recover and move on from this. But I'll never forget you. You'll always be my greatest love. So I have to let go..."
He breathed in shakily and softly pressed his lips to her cold ones in a goodbye kiss. "I love you."
All he felt was pain, physical and emotional. This was quite literally the hardest thing he'd ever done. He slowly pulled away from her and forced himself to walk away and not look back. Because if he did..well it wouldn't end well for his being.
As he was about to turn the knob to exit the room, he heard a sharp gasp for air and a fit of coughing coming from behind him. Jai froze, feeling even more emotions overwhelm him at once.
He quickly turned around and saw Marina struggle to sit up, clutching her now healed wound on her chest. She was shaking and trying to regulate her breathing, confusion evident on her face.
Jai rushed to her side in a second and hugged the girl tighter than ever, scared that if he let her go, he'd lose her again. And he was sobbing as he held onto her. He couldn't believe it. It was quite literally a miracle.
"J-Jai? What...happened?" Marina asked, her voice raspy and shaky as she hugged back just as tight.
Jai hesitantly pulled away from her but kept himself pressed against her. He wiped the tears from his face and looked sadly into Marina's sunken eyes. He caressed her cheek with one hand, still processing the fact that she was alive...well now undead.
"You...you died to save me. Marina...you're in transition."
