That Is Where My Heart Resides.

30.Mahoor

The nurse kept insisting me to eat something but the lump in my thorat won't let me reach for it.No matter how hard I tried I just couldn't help it.The doctors were suggesting a pipe for intake of food but it was a big no for me to accept it,how can I just let myself that down?

"Please just have a bite,it'll seriously help you get better", the nurse begged holding the fruit bowl which had a collage of fruits,all were that which I always preferred to eat.

"You know the doctor's asked me to just try once and then if you disagree then they will be fixing the pipe,you don't want it,do you?", she muttered looking for the doctor.

"No,but I can't help it", I confessed.

"You know you can try", she explained with a sympathetic smile growing on her face.

"Okay", I replied with a weak smile.

And then I just asked her that I would eat myself.I managed to eat an apple and some bananas and then asked for some sleep.

"Feeling better already", she smiled.

"Yeah", I replied with my eye lids half closed.

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I woke up with the soft massaging of my hand,and someone was crying even so low,it was hard to hear.Opening my eye lids which still felt heavy,the vision turned a bit clearer which made my heart jump almost attempting somersaults.My eyes felt watery and tears flowed constantly,straining my pale cheeks which I realised now were no more chubby but rather hollow.

"Mahoor I'm sorry I shouldn't have said anything to you that day,it's just my fault,please forgive me...", Ammi apologised massaging my hand,the other one was just trying to hold it tighter.

"Sorry for what?Did I end up here because of that day?", I asked trying hard to remember.

"The doctor's say you were quite nervous and then you're breathing rate just increased with your breathing depth which just lead to another attack and I am so sorry I don't think I'll be just forgiving myself for anything", she sobbed,her chest rising,up and down slowly.

"Ammi its definitely not your fault,it was me who was supposed to be taking care of myself,don't let yourself down,you see that I'm getting better each day,ain't I?", I consoled as soon as my tears ceased to an end.

"I know,now let me call everyone one by one", she walked outside and then there were indistinct conversations outside.

It was him,he was finally there,his eyes twinkling but he had managed to make a sad expression on his face so he could show how worried he was for me,he should have done it,he was a great actor,and I was the same,masking my emotions and all this.

"Asalamo Alaikum Mahoor", he replied softly but deep down he was grinning ofcourse,as he was going to get rid of me for sure.

"Walaikum Asalam", I replied looking at the bare window,which showed dark heavy clouds,the sky turning charcoal black.

"Mahoor I should have known that you had it,please forgive me for all this,I swear I was forced into this", he called sounding resentful and regretful,only that he had just stopped his voice from cracking and forced his teardrops inside.

Was he really sorry?

"I know that I never deserve you,neither do you,you are the powerful,the over protective,the cherished one,its been always you who was forgiving even in the bitterest of the times.I've been hard on you,scolded you just because of Pernia,talked behind your back to hold onto Pernia and kids.I know that day you were in a verge of tears and you were breaking like glass,shattering into infinite pieces because of me,so I need you to forgive me,because I stole away your dreams and desires you had for loving husband,its all because....", he explained sorrowly.

"Because?", I asked curiously.

"I've always loved Pernia,and she was everything for me,she is like a piece if jigsaw you know,she completes me.She just fits in me,her hand just looks so great with mine,we all look perfect and we don't need anyone to come between us", he replied feeling sorry but what?

He still needed her.
He had wasted all his time and even mine,wonder if anyone would be able to accept me.

Someone who is just going to be divorced.Someone who is diagnosed with lung cancer.Who will accept me?

No one.

With that he looked at his phone and then walked outside.

Now there is no one who will just love me,care for me for my whole life.

"How miserable I am,no one is ever going to love me,care for me", I almost shouted.

But then my mind begin thinking something,something back.

You'll be okay"
"The sun will rise to better days"
"And change will come"
"Its on its way"
"Just close your eyes and let it rain"
"Cause you'll never alone and I'll always be there"
"You just carry on,you'll understand"

"You'll be okay"
"Just look inside,you know the way"
"Let it go,fly away"
"And say goodbye to yesterday"
"Cause you're never alone and I'll always be there"
"You just carry on and you'll understand"

That day,the song he had sung,maybe he will really accept me and be there with me,maybe.

Because the sudden emptiness that gripped my heart was overwhelming.

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A/N: I really am sorry but some upcoming chapters will be considering Mahoor an important and significant character because of her lung cancer so Sameer will have some or either no so please hold onto this for some time.
*sobs hardly for Mahoor*

Thankyou again my jaans for taking out time for my story,reading it because you find it great,just keep smiling and be happy, ☺