That Is Where My Heart Resides.

34.Sameer

"But how can--", she said it almost as a whisper.

"So should I assume that you love me?", I smirked suddenly trying to act optimistically and insane all of a sudden.I don't know what thoughts were creeping into my mind making me perform these awkward actions,reflex actions I guess.

"I don't know", she mumbled turning a bright color of red,it almost felt that her cheeks burned with shyness and some others symptoms that I wasn't aware of.

"Okay then I'll say it to aunty that its fine to you,about Taha", I said my soul trying to escape from the words that came out of my mouth.

She wasn't answering properly.It was that her answer comprised of some bits and pieces,broken,shattered and she wasn't even able to tell,but I know deep down at her heart she had a deep affection,a bond of love for me,but unfortunately she had those days burned in her memory with Taha,which she was unable to forget,because she actually missed him.It wasn't my fault neither his but it wasn't anyone's fault but destiny.

Who knows why this got to be this way?How can I just let myself down on the melancholic ocean,which is drives me nuts.Everytime I see her face,the cracks and the broken tendons of my heart go through a healing process which in turn relieves me from the adverse affect of it,soothing it.I guess its a normal thing,to love something that you know won't be yours,but you have a gleam of hope,deep down so you don't loose your heart and try harder.

My eyes lock with hers.They are still fighting against her own demons,I know she's tired but she is trying,she knows that she can do it,she has confidence on herself.The soft brown eyes are soothingly clawed within my own hazel pools,endlessly searching for an answer,expecting her to just say it.

"I need your answer Mahoor", I breathed heavily,my lungs seemed to bear difficulty in breathing because of this chronic disease,love.

"I...I......how can I just?Why do I hate you?", she murmured.

And then as soon as those words left her mouth,the very moment my heart tendon broke,the trauma was inhaling me in like a thin wind of air,gently entering a soul and sucking it.It was because of those words that I lost my temper and walked away.

I should've stopped myself from it,I should've have known that we weren't meant to be,I should've known that we were nothing,there was nothing between us,that we were mere strangers.We were people with secrets,feelings emotions for each other but without any relationship.She wasn't made for me,never.How could've I be so insane?How could I let loose myself and believe that she had the same feelings and emotions that I had for her.What was wrong if she just inherited them for me,she could have safed a human being from dying?
The words bounced painfully from one side of my brain to another,refusing to settle down long enough to make sense.

I didn't know why that many people die at 25 but aren't buried at 75,but now I know that they fall in the same category as me.

***

"But Taha is already married so will he leave Jannat?", aunty questioned sipping her tea.

"Yes...but you don't worry", Amma smiled nervously.

"How about Mahoor and Sameer,he would agree to it won't he?", aunty continued.

"The best thing is he has talked about it many times but I can't see Taha in this state", Amma confessed,feeling pity for Taha.

"So how about Mahoor and Taha?", Amma stated.

"This food of thought isn't easy to digest and easy to accept but why not Sameer?", aunty argued.

"No..no I'm not forcing if you say this thing,that you want Sameer for Mahoor then its totally acceptable by us", Amma smiled.

"Have you asked Mahoor about it?Who does she think she will be living comfortably with?", Amma asked doubtly.

"I still have to ask her but I guess she would suggest me Taha's name,because Fahad is saying that Taha would be ideal for Mahoor,but she sort of hesitated", aunty added placing back the empty cup on the table.

***

"So Sameer is Mahoor fine by you?", Amma asked.

"Don't just talk about her Amma,did you not find any girl else for me?What's so special in her?She's not the only one beautiful,there are loads of girls that are gorgeous and can handle housework.Why is she the centre of attraction and the talk of town,I don't understand it,you know?", I said seething with hatred.Fuming up my fists turned into balls and my mouth said everything that was against her.

"Why are you talking this way?What is wrong Sameer?Did she just say something about it?What is wrong with her,you loved her but what is wrong now?Why are you just being so offended?", Amma said,her words felt like a substantial slap on my delicate shaped face.

"She isn't made for me,so please quit all these future talks", I muttered ferociously.

"Sameer can you please be serious for a second?", Amma glared angrily.

"Im serious", I said with rolling my eyes and huffing.

"If she is going to be yours then why do you deny this thing?", Amma asked.

"She can not be mine until I accept her", I fumed,leaving the room.

But a part of me loved her.Chaotically in love with her.I loved her not for the way she danced with my angels,but for the way the sound of her name could silence my demons.

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