That Is Where My Heart Resides.

28.Mahoor

________________________

Everybody has a chapter they don't read out loud.

"Ammi--", my voice suddenly cracked upon my arrival at my own home,seeing Ammi's pleasing face.

And then she just hugged me tightly just like that when I came back from Canada.She seemed relieved and I just didn't want to make her upset by revealing up a pack of Omer's secrets which no one was ever being told about.
My mind was still flooded with the thoughts of what should I do and should I tell Ammi?

"Mahoor,is Omer here with you?", Ammi asked her eyes darting towards the door that stood ajar.

"No", I replied simply trying to end the conversation because if I just say something else then a wave of questions would engulf me in.But she would be definitely asking me about anything else,which would be rather frightening.

"Then how did you just--", Ammi stated,confused.

"Omer had some work to do,so he just left me here and drove back to his work", I lied almost perfectly.It was almost like I was now used to lying about Omer being a responsible husband,and how he was the best and so great,that sometimes I felt that I was even lying to myself but I wouldn't want to surrender instead.

"I was just going to visit you with your Baba,we were too worried about you", Ammi explained.

"Why....so?", I blurted as the fork fell on the plate with a clatter.

"Are you fine?", Ammi asked,a worried expression on her face.

"Yes just slipped the fork accidentally", I lied once again trying to hold myself from spitting out the truth.

"So why were you worried Ammi?", I asked chewing onto the mutton karahi (Pakistani dish).

"Its that Mahoor we've been hearing very strange rumours and then we decided to just break in and see if they were true", Ammi continued,the food on her plate stayed just as it was.

"Ammi have you been eating properly?", I asked worriedly examining her.

"Yes Mahoor,its just that this strange thought haunts me every night", Ammi said dipping her roti into mutton karahi.

I could feel myself just cracking inside.How can I let this happen to her?Its that she is afraid that nothing worse happens to me,its that I'm giving her hope that nothing really is wrong but what happens when the other second she becomes aware of Omer's characteristics?

She would not live when she will be hearing about this,so its sure that I won't be telling her because I cannot see her in such state of confusion and her having a nervous breakdown.

"What haunts you Ammi?", I asked anxiety pouring over me while I just gulped down a glass of water,trying to calm myself down.

"Its like the thought gives me chills every night that you aren't happy with Omer,like he's been torturing you,like there is something wrong with him and its making you cry and you just want to open up but he threatens you everytime you try to talk me about it.Like he's been hiding something from us,something like Sameer told.I've been seeing things in my dreams,even more worse than this,its like he is making you feel sick and exhausted and the other day I just see that I am invited to your funeral because you both couldn't make it out and you decided to end yourself.Just tell me is everything going fine between you too?I want to get this thing out of my mind,hearing from my own daughter,that everything is just like me and your Baba imagine", Ammi explained blinking her tears and then staring down on me with her dark brown orbs,gleaming with hope.

"Ammi these are just hallucinations,you need to just make yourself fresh and you should loose up a bit", I replied biting my lower lip nervously.

****

There was nothing else,it was just this crying that I was holding on since I just arrived here and it broke out soon as I entered my room and bounced on my bed.

This is the worst of all when you are just crying,when you're lying in bed with your hand,over your mouth,so you don't make noise.The tears are running onto your pillow and you're feeling like you are shattering into pieces,and thinking about all that made you burst into tears,and your other hand is on your stomach or heart,because they both hurt equally.

And then when I could feel like my eyes are sore and my nose is just blocked and no air can pass then I just rush towards the bathroom and splash the cold water on my face,as tears flow out of my eyes like waterfall as I just examine how miserable I just am and how I just have bad luck taking all over me.

My mobile rings.There is a muffled cry and now I just hear this ringing bell and soon reach out for my phone.The name pops up on the screen.

Omer.

He would surely bark at me,what would I say to him?

And I just picked up trying to get rid of the lump in my throat.

"Asalamo Alaikum?"

"MAHOOR?WHERE ARE YOU?", he yelled through the phone,I could feel what his face would be like,his eyebrows coming together,his eyes full of rage and his veins popping up.

"........"

"ARE YOU GOING TO TELL ME OR NOT?", he barked.

"At Ammi's home", I said trying to conceal my large breaths and my muffled whining.

"How did you get THERE?", he yelled so loudly that I could just slam the phone out of anger.

"I..I took the rickshaw", I lied.

"WHY did you just run out of the house?", he roared furiously.

"I guess you and Pernia need time-", my eyes popped the moment I felt Ammi standing beside the door.

"Mahoor just say that all of this is a lie,please--", Ammi pleaded with teary eyes,her delicate hands were massaging her temples.

A/N: Is she going to reveal these things or just simply make up something to hide?
Do read to find out.
How did you find the story as a
#missiondesi?

VOTE.COMMENT.SHARE.